I frequently feel empty and have little sense of self

[Anonymous]

OP, I think a lot of people struggle with the transition from college to full time work, regardless of major or school. It's two different lifestyles, and I think for some there's this "overwhlemingness" that now this is the schedule of the rest of your life. I struggled a lot with my first job right out of school, and I had a creative major I wanted and got a creative job...and this was 30 years ago. After a year at that first job, I ended up getting a new job I liked much better with coworkers who were more friendly. And even though I'm no longer in touch with any of those people, I still have fond memories of that job.

I do think you have some other FOO things to work through, but recognize that changing from a school life (that you've been doing for over 15 years) to a work life can be challenging, and give yourself some grace and time for things to get better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I only have time to address one little bit of your post but I wanted to say that 22/23 is by no means too old to be making a life-long friend or group of friends.

I'm 48 and I really don't have any friends from high school and and am only on a very occasional contact basis with college friends. This is the same with just about everyone I know: for example my brother was a late bloomer and keeps up with exactly zero people from high school or college and yet now at age 46 is one of the most social (and well loved by all) people I know. Real friends and communities are made at every stage of life!

Speak for yourself. My friends from high school and college are the closest friends in my life. And that’s true for many people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, none of these posters are giving you the harsh truth. You do not have “trauma” — you’re just an indulgent, self-centered, navel-gazing brat. You need to be grateful for all the amazing privileged in your life. And most importantly, you need to build grit and resilience. Because it’s very obvious that you don’t have ANY at the moment.

Oh, STFU. This is ignorant Boomer nonsense (and no, I don’t care if you’re not chronologically a Boomer).

Not ignorant Boomer nonsense. There’s a thread in the general parenting forum talking about how OP lacks resilience and is indicative of a greater societal trend.

[Anonymous]

I am sorry I haven’t read the comments so just commenting on the OP.
- many people in the US are lonely - even those who haven’t really moved much and those who did play dates and sleepovers. I don’t know why, maybe it’s because the classes are always shaken up/mixed every year? So it’s just luck/circumstance/maybe your personality but don’t pin it on your parents.
- your job doesn’t need to be fulfilling. You are working too much, yes, but 99% of jobs aren’t fulfilling. If you went to that liberal arts school you’d be unhappy still (highly likely!) but also broke. Just treat your job as something that brings you money but don’t spend too much time on it if you can.
- many therapists are idiots unfortunately, and unprofessional at that

Good luck! The US is a lonely place unless you have a diaspora.
You may want to look at the diaspora of the home country of your parents. They may give you a new outlook on life and relationships.

[Anonymous]

OP, I want to suggest spending a weekend volunteering with an organization like Ward 8 Woods. Being outdoors in nature, helping out, seeing immediate results, and meeting new people will do you good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow this was unnecessarily wrong. Sorry about that

0. You are an adult with feet in your shoes and brain in your skull, you can go in any direction, if you let go of fear of failure and need for acceptance.

1. See a primary care physician and a therapist.

2. Know that your problems are really trivial compared to 90% of world's population.

3. You are only 23 with likely 73 years ahead of you.

4. Apply for some teaching job with Peace Corps or Fulbright and move abroad to teach english or build huts or whatever.

5. Keep us updated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow this was unnecessarily wrong. Sorry about that

0. You are an adult with feet in your shoes and brain in your skull, you can go in any direction, if you let go of fear of failure and need for acceptance.

1. See a primary care physician and a therapist.

2. Know that your problems are really trivial compared to 90% of world's population.

3. You are only 23 with likely 73 years ahead of you.

4. Apply for some teaching job with Peace Corps or Fulbright and move abroad to teach english or build huts or whatever.

5. Keep us updated.

#2 is so right. Most 23 year olds are in shitty food service or retail jobs or in low-paying entry-level office jobs! They are living off of ramen while trying to pay off their student loans from four years of commuting their way through a local directional state school.

Do you realize how privileged and out of touch a McKinsey analyst with an Ivy education sounds complaining the way you do OP?

I second the other commenter suggesting volunteering — you will learn to be grateful for your immense privilege through meeting people in much less fortunate circumstances than you.

Also, regarding #5 — please do not keep us updated. We do not need more updates from a whiny, bratty, entitled Ivy grad.

[Anonymous]

Look for Asian am hang out groups, like tap, taiwanese am professionals or start going to an Asian am church, there’s one in Arlington has tons of singles and social life. You can still attend even if you aren’t religious, ppl are nice, easy to start going out to lunch w ppl after.