I frequently feel empty and have little sense of self

[Anonymous]

I recommend EMDR therapy for your childhood trauma. You could have BPD, or you could have a milder case of unresolved trauma and attachment issues.

[Anonymous]

I don’t want to be dismissive op, but it sounds like you need a hobby in life that will help give your purpose. And hopefully from that you can get friends and a boyfriend. Your parents were abusive but they did at least set you up for a successful career. You just need the social part of life.

[Anonymous]

OP, I too wanted to be a writer. Join a writing group. Many writers feel lonely because those in fictional worlds are their truest companions. Don't let go of the spark. Take writing courses online like those offered by Gotham. The Writers Center in Bethesda is also fantastic. Apply for residencies and conferences every year until you are admitted. Meeting others who share your passion will help you understand yourself in a different way.

[Anonymous]

Sound alike Childhood Emotional Neglect. Google it. Check out this website including the directory of therapists and find a provider near you. I also recommend reading author's book, 'Running on Empty.'

https://drjonicewebb.com/

[Anonymous]

Hugs to you, OP. I could have written your post at 23 with only a few of the details changed. You need to go back to school (grad/professional school) to switch careers in a serious way. Start looking into MA programs in creative writing/English - reach out to some professors to ask about this. Or you need to save up money for a few months and then move to New Hampshire to start over. It's not too late. But now is the time to switch careers - it will be much harder the older and more entrenched in your current career you get.

Make a long-term plan, and a short-term plan, and then just do it. Your parents will be livid. But you will find your tribe once you are in the right place/career. It will be hard, and scary, but so, so worth it.

Good luck to you. You'll be okay.

[Anonymous]

OP, no one wants to be friends with you because you complain about a life that’s objectively amazing. I highly recommend keeping a gratitude journal so you learn to count your blessings and be thankful for what you have. You become less depressed by choosing to be less depressed — the less pity you have for yourself and the more you recognize that YOU have the power to be happy, the happier you’ll be. If you think you’re no longer depressed and start acting in that manner, then you’ll become less depressed; that’s the basis of CBT.

I highly recommend keeping a gratitude journal. It will do wonders for your (frankly, off-putting) amounts of self pity. Here are a few things you should be grateful for:

-Having a lucrative, prestigious job that 99% of people your age would kill for
-Having a college degree from an Ivy
-Having enough affordable income for therapy
-Being able to afford to live in a lively and dynamic city such as DC

Just curious, OP, have you ever worked a minimum wage job in food service? One where you have to ask customers “would you like fries with that?” I suspect not. If you did have that experience under your belt, you’d be a lot more grateful for the things that you have and be way happier with your current station in life.

Not OP but this really irritates me. Its so out of touch. OP is not feeling ungrateful, but rather she has never been able to develop herself. Your criticism kind of sounds like its echoing her parents, who simultaneously abused OP while justifying that they were giving her a good life. Its great to have gratitude for the things you have in your life, that's not really the root of OPs problems. I mean, look at all the outwardly successful, beautiful, wealthy people who commit suicide. If only they kept a gratitude journal! (sarcasm). If anything, the outward trappings of success can exacerbate exactly the sense of loneliness and depression--like "I have everything and I still feel empty, what is wrong with me."

OP needs to connect to her inner child (as corny as that sounds, I think in this case it is true), and figure out who she really is, shed of the expectations and pressures of her parents. She does have the whole world ahead of her, and her education and relative wealth will hopefully allow her to make the leap. But simply focusing on that is not going to do the trick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

OP, no one wants to be friends with you because you complain about a life that’s objectively amazing. I highly recommend keeping a gratitude journal so you learn to count your blessings and be thankful for what you have. You become less depressed by choosing to be less depressed — the less pity you have for yourself and the more you recognize that YOU have the power to be happy, the happier you’ll be. If you think you’re no longer depressed and start acting in that manner, then you’ll become less depressed; that’s the basis of CBT.

I highly recommend keeping a gratitude journal. It will do wonders for your (frankly, off-putting) amounts of self pity. Here are a few things you should be grateful for:

-Having a lucrative, prestigious job that 99% of people your age would kill for
-Having a college degree from an Ivy
-Having enough affordable income for therapy
-Being able to afford to live in a lively and dynamic city such as DC

Just curious, OP, have you ever worked a minimum wage job in food service? One where you have to ask customers “would you like fries with that?” I suspect not. If you did have that experience under your belt, you’d be a lot more grateful for the things that you have and be way happier with your current station in life.

Not OP but this really irritates me. Its so out of touch. OP is not feeling ungrateful, but rather she has never been able to develop herself. Your criticism kind of sounds like its echoing her parents, who simultaneously abused OP while justifying that they were giving her a good life. Its great to have gratitude for the things you have in your life, that's not really the root of OPs problems. I mean, look at all the outwardly successful, beautiful, wealthy people who commit suicide. If only they kept a gratitude journal! (sarcasm). If anything, the outward trappings of success can exacerbate exactly the sense of loneliness and depression--like "I have everything and I still feel empty, what is wrong with me."

OP needs to connect to her inner child (as corny as that sounds, I think in this case it is true), and figure out who she really is, shed of the expectations and pressures of her parents. She does have the whole world ahead of her, and her education and relative wealth will hopefully allow her to make the leap. But simply focusing on that is not going to do the trick.

OP here. Yes, that’s exactly what’s happening. I kept a gratitude journal for a couple of months at the insistence of my old therapist. I ended up resenting it — I have all these things to be grateful for, so why am I still depressed? I have no real reason to be depressed! It felt like the journal was taunting me. I ended up throwing the notebook into the Potomac one night when I was particularly frustrated.

[Anonymous]

OP here, thank you for all these suggestions.

[Anonymous]

OP, none of these posters are giving you the harsh truth. You do not have “trauma” — you’re just an indulgent, self-centered, navel-gazing brat. You need to be grateful for all the amazing privileged in your life. And most importantly, you need to build grit and resilience. Because it’s very obvious that you don’t have ANY at the moment.

[Anonymous]

OP, have you read https://medium.com/aaja-defined/behind-the-story-stephanie-foo-on-writing-what-my-bones-know-and-coping-with-c-ptsd-5601f615f1b5

[Anonymous]

Pp. Sorry, I meant to ask if you have read What My Bones Know?

[Anonymous]

You weren’t able to gain a sense of self as a child. You need to go on some vacations/trips, make some friends and also make some mistakes.

[Anonymous]

I only have time to address one little bit of your post but I wanted to say that 22/23 is by no means too old to be making a life-long friend or group of friends.

I'm 48 and I really don't have any friends from high school and and am only on a very occasional contact basis with college friends. This is the same with just about everyone I know: for example my brother was a late bloomer and keeps up with exactly zero people from high school or college and yet now at age 46 is one of the most social (and well loved by all) people I know. Real friends and communities are made at every stage of life!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, no one wants to

Got cut off:

OP, no one wants to be friends with you because you complain about a life that’s objectively amazing. I highly recommend keeping a gratitude journal so you learn to count your blessings and be thankful for what you have. You become less depressed by choosing to be less depressed — the less pity you have for yourself and the more you recognize that YOU have the power to be happy, the happier you’ll be. If you think you’re no longer depressed and start acting in that manner, then you’ll become less depressed; that’s the basis of CBT.

I highly recommend keeping a gratitude journal. It will do wonders for your (frankly, off-putting) amounts of self pity. Here are a few things you should be grateful for:

-Having a lucrative, prestigious job that 99% of people your age would kill for
-Having a college degree from an Ivy
-Having enough affordable income for therapy
-Being able to afford to live in a lively and dynamic city such as DC

Just curious, OP, have you ever worked a minimum wage job in food service? One where you have to ask customers “would you like fries with that?” I suspect not. If you did have that experience under your belt, you’d be a lot more grateful for the things that you have and be way happier with your current station in life.

OP, ignore every word of this sanctimonious, pseudosuperior twaddle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, none of these posters are giving you the harsh truth. You do not have “trauma” — you’re just an indulgent, self-centered, navel-gazing brat. You need to be grateful for all the amazing privileged in your life. And most importantly, you need to build grit and resilience. Because it’s very obvious that you don’t have ANY at the moment.

Oh, STFU. This is ignorant Boomer nonsense (and no, I don’t care if you’re not chronologically a Boomer).