Why don’t kids share bedrooms anymore? Why is it considered shocking or abusive to suggest that kids could share one?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids share a room. We live in a 4 br house but have 2 home offices taking up 2 of the bedrooms.

This seems pretty selfish.

I agree. Why can't one of the home offices be in your bedroom? And have the camera face the wall so it isn't obvious.

I don't have this setup but don't understand why its selfish. Its only selfish if you think kids sharing a room is a bad thing. Why should a child's perceived need for personal space trump a parent's need to have a work space that supports them doing their job in an effective and efficient way? There are definitely outliers, but in general I would think it preferable to have siblings sleeping in the same room than to have a parent trying to work effectively in the same room that they sleep in and share with a spouse.

[Anonymous]

I don't know anyone who thinks sharing is shocking or abusive. I grew up in the 70s-80s with three kids in a 4-bedroom house so we all had our own rooms. But, for a few years my sister and I thought it would be fun to share so we did that. Also did it for a year in our teens because our grandmother had to live with us for a while so she took my room.

My kids (boy, girl) have their own rooms in our 3 bedroom+den house. When they were little and I moved the baby out of the den next to the master into a full size room, I briefly considered putting the kids together. The layout of the house was such that the room we were putting her in would have worked well as a playroom. So they'd have had a sleeping room and a playing room. But, both kids were really great nappers and I worried that putting them in together would screw that up. So, they've always had their own rooms.

[Anonymous]

I live in an area where housing is extremely expensive and there are many immigrants, so it’s not shocking for a child to not have their own room. Many even sleep in the same room with their parents, but that’s more extreme of course.

[Anonymous]

My mom gave up her bedroom and slept in the living room to enable me and my two siblings to each have our own room. This was growing up in the 80s. Everything depends, I guess. People make do with the space they have. If I had two boys, I'd have them share and think they'd enjoy sharing a room. With a boy and a girl, it's fine at younger ages, but not so much in older ages. I certainly wouldn't have wanted to share with my brother in my teens, nor he with me.

[Anonymous]

My kids share a bedroom. But they can bike/walk places with their friends like to get ice cream or go to the movies. When they’re a bit older they can ride the metro (a couple blocks away) with friends into the city. They have tons of friends on our street, because our neighborhood is fairly dense (close-in suburb).

We don’t have $2m+ to buy a large house here. But I think overall they really like their freedom and lifestyle here, and wouldn’t trade it for their own bedroom out in Centreville or wherever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
As a foreign parent living here with children, what shocked me most (apart from the gun thing, and the healthcare thing) is that the American Dream suggest each child should have their own bedroom... but then come school field trips, and it's 4 to a room, with 2 to a bed. And then college, with tiny dorms and several kids per room. In my home country, where siblings often shared bedrooms, no one is expected to share beds on field trips, and there are no campuses with shared dorms - students get rentals, with one person per room.

The USA is a wonderful country in general, but certain things about it don't make sense.

Where are kids sharing beds on overnight field trips?

The dorm thing is about money. You can get a single room but it costs more.

Model UN field trip, for ex.

On most college campuses, single-person dorms are NOT available to freshmen (and often beyond), unless they prove they have a disability.

[Anonymous]

When did you stop beating your wife, OP?

[Anonymous]

I have never heard anyone refer to bedroom sharing as "abusive". Stop with your nonsense, and start making sense.

[Anonymous]

We have two kids and 6 bedrooms. They shared a room until they were teens. They enjoyed being together.

[Anonymous]

Same. DDs (twins) shared until ~6th grade by their choice.

[Anonymous]

Grew up in Fairfax County in the 70s -80s, 2 girls and 2 boys. I had to share a room with my sister my entire life. I hated it. Can’t think of any of my childhood or neighborhood friends who shared a bedroom.

Even the few times we moved my dad’s priority was an office for himself that would also be used as a guest room when the grandparents stayed with us. So we had to share, even in a 4 BR house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids share a room. We live in a 4 br house but have 2 home offices taking up 2 of the bedrooms.

This seems pretty selfish.

I agree. Why can't one of the home offices be in your bedroom? And have the camera face the wall so it isn't obvious.

I don't have this setup but don't understand why its selfish. It's only selfish if you think kids sharing a room is a bad thing. Why should a child's perceived need for personal space trump a parent's need to have a work space that supports them doing their job in an effective and efficient way? There are definitely outliers, but in general I would think it preferable to have siblings sleeping in the same room than to have a parent trying to work effectively in the same room that they sleep in and share with a spouse.

Parents have a bedroom and each have an office and then you put all the kids in one room. Yes, that's selfish. Parents can share an office. Or, they can have one office in their bedroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Grew up in Fairfax County in the 70s -80s, 2 girls and 2 boys. I had to share a room with my sister my entire life. I hated it. Can’t think of any of my childhood or neighborhood friends who shared a bedroom.

Even the few times we moved my dad’s priority was an office for himself that would also be used as a guest room when the grandparents stayed with us. So we had to share, even in a 4 BR house.

My husband has a friend like that. Two kids, three bedrooms, and an office space. Dad took a bedroom and the office space and the two kids shared a room and begged for their own room for years (the older one bullied the younger one terribly). He eventually let the older one move to the office but insisted on keeping 2/3 the room as his office.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have never heard anyone refer to bedroom sharing as "abusive". Stop with your nonsense, and start making sense.

Maybe not abusive, but the very first reply implied that people whose kids share a room have "more kids than they can house". As if sharing a bedroom is in some way similar to living in a tent.

[Anonymous]

I personally would aim for at least 200 sq ft but I guess anything larger than 120 sq ft is ok