Please tell me it’s ok to switch to formula

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s not all or nothing. I combo fed from birth by choice despite having an oversupply. You could (should!) introduce formula tomorrow, space out breastfeeds a bit and quickly but naturally diminish your supply. That way you can get some breaks from breastfeeding to sleep and not be chewed on.

But don't combo feed if it causes you severe pain. Just do all formula.

[Anonymous]

OP here - thank you all so much for your thoughtful and encouraging replies. DH and I have been talking this through the last few days, and I’m like 99% sure we’re going to switch. The pain is less than it was, but I tried nursing without the shields yesterday and we were back to square one with pain and friction blistering. The thought of continuing to do this for months on end fills me with dread. We’re also considering combo feeding, but it feels complicated to figure out how to balance the convenience of formula with the need to maintain supply.

It has been both depressing and fascinating to me that I feel so much resistance internally to doing this. Like others on this thread, I was exclusively formula-fed. I’m a really healthy person and, yes, I went to an Ivy! I know that there’s very little (no?) evidence that, for the vast majority of people, whether they were formula or breastfed matters in the long run. But the “breast is best” mentality, both from the medical establishment and other UMC women, is so pervasive.

Thanks again to all. Really appreciate your kind words. If anyone has tips on formula feeding, I’m all ears…

[Anonymous]

I switched to formula and never regretted it.

Seeing your Q on tips:

-Don’t bother with bottle warmers;
-Keep bottles and formula in whatever room baby sleeps in, even if that means putting in a temporary mini-fridge;
-Make sure Dad takes as many night shifts as you, unless he truly doesn’t have any leave and a demanding work schedule;
-Keep backup formula in your car (protected from extreme temps);
-Get some of those smaller serving-size packets of formula for when you’re on-the-go;
-Enjoy the flexibility formula brings! Enjoy a glass of wine or two with your husband when baby is asleep without worry, meet your friends out for dinner, sit at a coffee shop in peace, fill your own cup. I promise your relationship with baby and your husband will only be stronger. For me, switching to formula made me feel more like “me,” and that helped my love life, my ability to be present for my friends, and my patience and happiness around my baby bloomed.

Most important: Know you are not a failure. Anyone who criticizes you—and trust me, I get the pain that comes from that even knowing the other person was in the wrong as well as how overblown the focus on breastfeeding is—has their own issues. Important to remember that they still YOUR breasts, part of YOUR body, and your not communal property for others to weigh in on.

(Reminding people of that fact, if you’re comfortable doing so, can help shut people up. My in-laws made their disapproval of my decision well known, and at least my father-in-law stopped commenting when I asked him what other thoughts he had about my breasts.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - thank you all so much for your thoughtful and encouraging replies. DH and I have been talking this through the last few days, and I’m like 99% sure we’re going to switch. The pain is less than it was, but I tried nursing without the shields yesterday and we were back to square one with pain and friction blistering. The thought of continuing to do this for months on end fills me with dread. We’re also considering combo feeding, but it feels complicated to figure out how to balance the convenience of formula with the need to maintain supply.

It has been both depressing and fascinating to me that I feel so much resistance internally to doing this. Like others on this thread, I was exclusively formula-fed. I’m a really healthy person and, yes, I went to an Ivy! I know that there’s very little (no?) evidence that, for the vast majority of people, whether they were formula or breastfed matters in the long run. But the “breast is best” mentality, both from the medical establishment and other UMC women, is so pervasive.

Thanks again to all. Really appreciate your kind words. If anyone has tips on formula feeding, I’m all ears…

I’m one of the previous posters who recommended stopping and switching to formula. I have a theory on this!

Before quality formula was invented (less than 100 years ago, which is nothing in the grand scheme of things), if you stopped nursing, there was a really good chance your baby would die. It was incredibly dangerous. And because of the way supply works, even stopping for a couple days might be a death sentence for your baby. So, evolutionarily, mothers have this incredibly strong emotional, non-logical, drive to nurse, even through pain and awfulness.

But, better living through science! I’ve found, with myself and others, once you’ve stopped for a few days and your baby is thriving on formula, that urge quiets down. And so many moms turn around and say “jeez, I should have stopped weeks ago!”

Basically, that internal resistance is evolutionary. You have a safe alternative, you can safely ignore it. And you should!

[Anonymous]

Consider whether you want to try doing both. I supplemented with formula for 6 months (and then switched entirely to formula). My supply was fine and never dropped off, my kid slept so much better, and I was much better rested.

It is a perfectly great decision to switch to formula, but you seem very torn over it. Give yourself the gift of not having to make this decision right now while you are so tired and in pain. Do both. See how it feels. You may decide to do both for a while. You also may decide that formula is so much better for your family and it confirms that this is the right decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - thank you all so much for your thoughtful and encouraging replies. DH and I have been talking this through the last few days, and I’m like 99% sure we’re going to switch. The pain is less than it was, but I tried nursing without the shields yesterday and we were back to square one with pain and friction blistering. The thought of continuing to do this for months on end fills me with dread. We’re also considering combo feeding, but it feels complicated to figure out how to balance the convenience of formula with the need to maintain supply.

It has been both depressing and fascinating to me that I feel so much resistance internally to doing this. Like others on this thread, I was exclusively formula-fed. I’m a really healthy person and, yes, I went to an Ivy! I know that there’s very little (no?) evidence that, for the vast majority of people, whether they were formula or breastfed matters in the long run. But the “breast is best” mentality, both from the medical establishment and other UMC women, is so pervasive.

Thanks again to all. Really appreciate your kind words. If anyone has tips on formula feeding, I’m all ears…

That is super frustrating especially while recovering. Your baby is so lucky to have you!

I’m one of the previous posters who talked about combo feeding and these are some of my tips I picked up for formula.

-If you can afford it, start with ready to feed at least while you get in a rhythm. It is more expensive, though and with the current prices on formula I get that might be a dealbreaker. I only have experience with ready to feed so I don’t know as many tips about mixing it.

-Try to hold the bottle more horizontal when you feed them (pace feeding).

-The nipples are marked with the size imprinted usually on the side. Start with a low flow then see from there. Dr. Brown’s you can order one called a level T that’s slower than the size 1. Checked that they aren’t blocked when washing them.

-Bottles: different ones can work for different babies, so some places have a bottle sampler pack you can get (I know Babylist does). The Dr. Brown bottles are pretty popular though.

If you go fully to formula all at once, you probably will have to deal with drying up your milk supply at least to some extent. I’ve seen ice and advil can be helpful. Try to hand express instead of pumping to be comfortable without fully draining your breast and stimulating more milk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Consider whether you want to try doing both. I supplemented with formula for 6 months (and then switched entirely to formula). My supply was fine and never dropped off, my kid slept so much better, and I was much better rested.

It is a perfectly great decision to switch to formula, but you seem very torn over it. Give yourself the gift of not having to make this decision right now while you are so tired and in pain. Do both. See how it feels. You may decide to do both for a while. You also may decide that formula is so much better for your family and it confirms that this is the right decision.

She has *blisters.* I combo fed but come ON.

[Anonymous]

I’m the PP who originally recommended combo feeding. Just wanted to add: if my nipples had been in bad shape like it sounds like yours are, I’d quit immediately! You matter too. Do not feel guilty.

But since you mentioned worrying about the complexity of managing supply while combo feeding, my advice would be: don’t. Breastfeeding is already not working for you so don’t worry about your supply stopping. Just sleep when you want, breastfeed if and when you want, and maybe you’ll hang onto a little supply and it will get easier then you’ll ramp back up, maybe you’ll dry up and continue full formula, or something in between. It’s all good. I just really want to put you at ease that you don’t have to make any final choices or stress about the breastfeeding aspect of it because formula is always there.

[Anonymous]

It makes me frankly furious that the mommy industrial complex has guilted you into misery.

We adopted a newborn. Formula all the way. Kid has thrived - for 2 decades!

Don’t let those who seek to make you feel guilty win. Do what is best for your family. Don’t waste another minute.

[Anonymous]

Hi! Here's my experience.
The short of it is, switch to formula/pumped milk/both until your nipples heal (use the lanolin liberally), then try again in a few days and supplement liberally with formula to make sure baby is fed. Maybe use an annoying slow flow bottle so he doesn't get too lazy.

This is basically what I'm trying to do. I just had my 3rd and am having trouble breast feeding him, though my other two I breastfed for a year each (plus pumping at work) with few issues and enjoyed it, except for a really difficult first two weeks.

With this one, my milk didn't come in for a few days, his "perfectly fine" latch blistered my nipples, and also the uterine cramps were something else. I switched to formula after two days of this to let my nipples heal with LOTS of lanolin get into at least pumping, and try again.

It's a week later and so far I have some success latching; good supply pumping; no more cramps; and I don't hesitate to finish up with formula when this isn't enough or when I can't handle it anymore. I hope to consult with another lactation consultant about the latch.

So - that's my ad hoc approach to give the breastfeeding another chance. It is good for baby to be able to tolerate formula so that you can leave him with others, even if you don't have a pumped stash, even if you choose to try to beat feed.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

These posts always make me sad. I forced myself to breastfeed my first and was miserable. I practically resented my baby.

I formula fed my second and it was a world of difference. So much easier and more enjoyable. I bonded easier with my baby because it was more than just me being a source of food.

It makes me angry how much pressure I felt and that I did something for months of my life that I disliked so much. Makes me wonder if it’s just another form of misogyny.

[Anonymous]

Oh my only mistake nursing for a year is that I didn’t combo feed asap. Perhaps this is hyperbole but if I had introduced formula I probably would have been able to look back w a better view and ended up having another kid. Do formula for yourself and for strangers like me who want you to rest.

[Anonymous]

Of course it is ok to switch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Consider whether you want to try doing both. I supplemented with formula for 6 months (and then switched entirely to formula). My supply was fine and never dropped off, my kid slept so much better, and I was much better rested.

It is a perfectly great decision to switch to formula, but you seem very torn over it. Give yourself the gift of not having to make this decision right now while you are so tired and in pain. Do both. See how it feels. You may decide to do both for a while. You also may decide that formula is so much better for your family and it confirms that this is the right decision.

She has *blisters.* I combo fed but come ON.

I think it is 100% ok to switch.

But pp is not wrong either. I had bruises and blisters and ended up combofeeding until my child was taking enough in to replace the formula. I can relate to the strong pull to continue that OP has mentioned. I thought it was crazy for me to be so invested in continuing and it was but at the end of the day I’m glad I did. It’s ok to honor both sets of feelings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Consider whether you want to try doing both. I supplemented with formula for 6 months (and then switched entirely to formula). My supply was fine and never dropped off, my kid slept so much better, and I was much better rested.

It is a perfectly great decision to switch to formula, but you seem very torn over it. Give yourself the gift of not having to make this decision right now while you are so tired and in pain. Do both. See how it feels. You may decide to do both for a while. You also may decide that formula is so much better for your family and it confirms that this is the right decision.

She has *blisters.* I combo fed but come ON.

I think it is 100% ok to switch.

But pp is not wrong either. I had bruises and blisters and ended up combofeeding until my child was taking enough in to replace the formula. I can relate to the strong pull to continue that OP has mentioned. I thought it was crazy for me to be so invested in continuing and it was but at the end of the day I’m glad I did. It’s ok to honor both sets of feelings.

Weird how it's such a strong psychological and emotional decision for moms. I read the suggestions to combo feed and my knee jerk reaction is "how dare you suggest op put yourself through one more day of pain. It's insulting and it induces guilt to make her feel like if she could only try HARDER she could succeed." And succeed at something that isn't necessary, at that.

Whereas some people might look at your posts and feel inspired to stick with their determination to breastfeed.

Obviously you know my opinion. I'm just commenting on how differently people experience the act of feeding a baby.