Married women, do any of you wish you had married a more submissive DH?

[Anonymous]

I think the underlying issue is less “submission” and more “respecting” one’s spouse and also delegating. Meaning, if you delegate something and one person pours effort into researching a given topic (caregiving options for children, schools, vacations, cars, contractors, diet, whatever), trust their recommendation. And trust them enough to delegate in the first place and be ok with whatever the outcome is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH is pretty chill and even keeled about most things. But ten years in, I wish he brought a more dominant side in the bedroom to keep my interest. Tepid initiations are such a turn off.

Be careful what you wish for.

Once my dominant side emerged, my DW could not meet my needs. I divorced her, and found a woman who could.

Absolutely not. A man who brings the fire will find I can match him step for step.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also submissive in the bedroom??

DH is submissive in the bedroom. He likes my $trap0n.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH went along with everything I wanted when we were dating and engaged, and that's the pattern I expected to continue, but it turns out he is very opinionated and particular about a lot of things. It's fine for the most part. But it would be easier if we didn't have to negotiate every little thing every day.

May be he is seeing similar changes in you. Why not talk to each other about how to make life more efficient and pleasant.

This, above, OP. What have you said to him about your feeling that you must negotiate everything, every day? What discussions have you had together about this? What changed since you got married, and what subjects are really the triggers for his opinions and "particular" demands--money issues? Kids' schooling? House improvements? Issues with his or your family?

If you've never sat down and talked about this in a non-accusatory way, and tried to work on it as a team, you and he arent' communicating like an effective couple. If you have tried and were met with resistance, you and he need to find some kind of couples' counseling focusing on communications. Let this fester, stew about it and vent to strangers, and you achieve nothing but a buildup of resentment.

I think we both have dominant personalities and are used to making the decisions as the eldest in each of our families, with siblings much younger than us. We've had various discussions related to this but I suspect that's the heart of it. We had a quick romance and didn't live together before marriage (thank you, religion), so very few issues popped up then. He definitely noticed my strong will and even commented on it, but I think he loves a good challenge and loves debating so that was not a deterrent.

You diagnosed it yourself, you didn't know him well, never lived together and still married. Now, work with what you've and gradually train yourselves to become best partners you can be.