are we being counseled out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Drives me crazy that privates only want perfect kids!

They just don’t have the resources to deal with learning and behavioral issues.

Some don’t. Some could but choose not to, regardless of all the DEI rhetoric on their web pages.

That isn’t what I think of when I hear DEI. I think of racial, ethnic and gender diversity, not behavioral and learning issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think they will wait to see if it gets better and if it doesn't, they will counsel you out for 6th grade. The classy schools give families advance notice so they can apply out for the following year.

How depressing. I was always the perfect child and never came close to being kicked out of school, so this is...just very distressing.

very telling reply here, imho. weird you bring it back to you OP. Do you always compare your child against yourself and how "perfect" you were?

Um, no. But it's pretty embarrassing to have my daughter kicked out of private school, yes.

What are you doing to support your daughter? My experience has been that schools are much more willing to be flexible and let a student stay if they think the parents are partnering with them to deal with problems. Parents who are in denial are faster to be told to leave.

Honestly, the earlier bedtime seems to have solved most of the issue. We didn't realize she was reading in bed until 11:30 pm or later. Now she's in bed earlier and asleep by 9:30 - I guess just being in there triggers sleep, whether she wants to keep reading or not.

Awesome. If the earlier bedtime has truly solved the issue, then the school did exactly what it should have done -- brought a concern to your attention, you instituted changes, concern was solved. I would ask to have another meeting in a few weeks to make sure that the school agrees that the concerns have been alleviated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Drives me crazy that privates only want perfect kids!

They just don’t have the resources to deal with learning and behavioral issues.

Some don’t. Some could but choose not to, regardless of all the DEI rhetoric on their web pages.

That isn’t what I think of when I hear DEI. I think of racial, ethnic and gender diversity, not behavioral and learning issues.

Learning differences are also diversity, are they not? Why the focus on what people look like? If the school can handle a child whose home language is not English, surely they can handle a child who needs quiet test-taking time. They just choose not to. And no, I'm not the bitter mother of a LD child. Just can see through the bs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Drives me crazy that privates only want perfect kids!

They just don’t have the resources to deal with learning and behavioral issues.

Some don’t. Some could but choose not to, regardless of all the DEI rhetoric on their web pages.

That isn’t what I think of when I hear DEI. I think of racial, ethnic and gender diversity, not behavioral and learning issues.

Learning differences are also diversity, are they not? Why the focus on what people look like? If the school can handle a child whose home language is not English, surely they can handle a child who needs quiet test-taking time. They just choose not to. And no, I'm not the bitter mother of a LD child. Just can see through the bs.

St. Andrew's spews a lot of this bs, but they don't deliver. And yes, I am a parent of a lower school child at SAES.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think they will wait to see if it gets better and if it doesn't, they will counsel you out for 6th grade. The classy schools give families advance notice so they can apply out for the following year.

How depressing. I was always the perfect child and never came close to being kicked out of school, so this is...just very distressing.

very telling reply here, imho. weird you bring it back to you OP. Do you always compare your child against yourself and how "perfect" you were?

Um, no. But it's pretty embarrassing to have my daughter kicked out of private school, yes.

DP
I totally get it OP. We are dealing with a VERY similar situation and because I can't sympathize with my child's behavioral problems, it's hard to think of solutions and it feels like I'm failing as a parent.
However, in our case, the school has been incredibly supportive and I would suggest being transparent with them and following recommendations. It's helpful to see them as a partner in supporting your child rather than the opposition. I'm actually grateful because if we address this now, we are setting DC up for future success (academically and socially) and if we were at a public we might not receive the same support/attention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Drives me crazy that privates only want perfect kids!

They just don’t have the resources to deal with learning and behavioral issues.

Some don’t. Some could but choose not to, regardless of all the DEI rhetoric on their web pages.

That isn’t what I think of when I hear DEI. I think of racial, ethnic and gender diversity, not behavioral and learning issues.

Learning differences are also diversity, are they not? Why the focus on what people look like? If the school can handle a child whose home language is not English, surely they can handle a child who needs quiet test-taking time. They just choose not to. And no, I'm not the bitter mother of a LD child. Just can see through the bs.

Public schools handle kids who can't speak english. I doubt you see many ELL students at Sidwell (unless you consider an diplomat's kid who speaks the queen's english an ELL student). DEI at privates is strictly controlled, they're happy to take kids of all color and sexual orientation, but their commitment to diversity ends there

[Anonymous]

No, I think the school is concerned -- they would be more straightforward if you were being counseled out. If your kid is melting down that drastically at age 10/11 there may be something bigger going on, is the school a good fit? I would probably pull my kid for MS if things don't improve emotionally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think they will wait to see if it gets better and if it doesn't, they will counsel you out for 6th grade. The classy schools give families advance notice so they can apply out for the following year.

How depressing. I was always the perfect child and never came close to being kicked out of school, so this is...just very distressing.

very telling reply here, imho. weird you bring it back to you OP. Do you always compare your child against yourself and how "perfect" you were?

Um, no. But it's pretty embarrassing to have my daughter kicked out of private school, yes.

What are you doing to support your daughter? My experience has been that schools are much more willing to be flexible and let a student stay if they think the parents are partnering with them to deal with problems. Parents who are in denial are faster to be told to leave.

This is my experience as well. The only children I saw counseled out for behavior had parents who didn’t take it seriously (if the child was doing well academically).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think they will wait to see if it gets better and if it doesn't, they will counsel you out for 6th grade. The classy schools give families advance notice so they can apply out for the following year.

How depressing. I was always the perfect child and never came close to being kicked out of school, so this is...just very distressing.

I think the HOS was there as a message to you that this is serious. Unfortunately lots of parents have blinders in about their children and will minimize the messages they are hearing when called in for a meeting. The thing to remember is that if your child is fine socially, emotionally and academically, you are never called in for a meeting. So if you are being called in at all, something is up. Lots of parents don’t get that basics fact and don’t listen when it’s “just” the teacher or counselor in the call. Your HOS is there because tears and falling apart is NOT normal in a 5th grader. At all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Drives me crazy that privates only want perfect kids!

They just don’t have the resources to deal with learning and behavioral issues.

Some don’t. Some could but choose not to, regardless of all the DEI rhetoric on their web pages.

That isn’t what I think of when I hear DEI. I think of racial, ethnic and gender diversity, not behavioral and learning issues.

Learning differences are also diversity, are they not? Why the focus on what people look like? If the school can handle a child whose home language is not English, surely they can handle a child who needs quiet test-taking time. They just choose not to. And no, I'm not the bitter mother of a LD child. Just can see through the bs.

St. Andrew's spews a lot of this bs, but they don't deliver. And yes, I am a parent of a lower school child at SAES.

I am an SAES parent. Accepting and accommodating certain learning differences is something SAES can and does do as do many schools. But there is a point at which the child’s needs are beyond the typical. My other child is at a K-8. A child was admitted in 5th grade and he had been homeschooled a bit due to COVID and the fact that he had some hearing lose (therefore online schooling had been bad or something like that). The school was ready and set to work with the hearing loss. But lo and behold he has high functioning autism, adhd, and OCD. The school is struggling to handle it and the parents don’t think the many accommodations he is getting are enough. So I don’t know what you experienced at SAES but the schools can only do so much for one child. Children with significant special needs (and yes I think Hearing loss, OCD, adhd and high functioning autism is significant special needs) should be in a special needs school or take advantage of the services provided in public school.