are we being counseled out?

[Anonymous]

Two weeks after we registered for fifth grade, we were called into what we thought was a parent-teacher conference. We were pretty taken aback to see the HoS there as well. Turns out DD hasn't been regulating emotions very well, and there has been crying then they believe is normal or appropriate. We've taken some concrete steps to deal with this (earlier bedtime, brief checkup with ped, etc) and things have made a drastic improvement. But what are the odds we're being counseled out and should prepare her for a new school next year?

[Anonymous]

I don't think so. It sounds like they are genuinely concerned about your daughter and want her to get the help she needs. Counseling out usually looks a lot more like "if XYZ isn't changed by ABC date, you might start to consider another school."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Two weeks after we registered for fifth grade, we were called into what we thought was a parent-teacher conference. We were pretty taken aback to see the HoS there as well. Turns out DD hasn't been regulating emotions very well, and there has been crying then they believe is normal or appropriate. We've taken some concrete steps to deal with this (earlier bedtime, brief checkup with ped, etc) and things have made a drastic improvement. But what are the odds we're being counseled out and should prepare her for a new school next year?

I have no experience (directly or indirectly) with being counseled out but it sounds like you have taken steps to help your daughter and it’s working. I’m sure the outcome everyone wants is for her to feel better. I think you’re on the right path and I can’t see why you would be counseled out if she’s making progress. Best of luck and I hope she continues to feel better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Two weeks after we registered for fifth grade, we were called into what we thought was a parent-teacher conference. We were pretty taken aback to see the HoS there as well. Turns out DD hasn't been regulating emotions very well, and there has been crying then they believe is normal or appropriate. We've taken some concrete steps to deal with this (earlier bedtime, brief checkup with ped, etc) and things have made a drastic improvement. But what are the odds we're being counseled out and should prepare her for a new school next year?

We had a meeting like that a year ago and my kid is still at the school this year and is registered for next. For us, the key was open communication with the school. The school seemed to imply we were hiding an issue. We weren’t. Rather, our discussions with the nurse about my kid’s issue hadn’t been communicated to the teachers. Once everyone knew and understood the medical concerns, then it was better.

[Anonymous]

My kid was ALMOST counseled out. There was a meeting like you describe. The school said, “We want to see these 3 things happen by May 1st, or we are not signing the contract.” They also sent emails every 2 weeks or so after that to let us know how our DC was doing and whether things were getting better or worse. This was during high school.

[Anonymous]

Wow. You are supposed to be transparent with the school but they don’t tell you the HoS will be at your mtg? That stinks. No wonder OP is concerned.

[Anonymous]

One way you know you're being counseled out is if you aren't offered a re-enrollment contract for your child when all the other families are offered theirs. That was our prompt to immediately start looking for another school for our child for the following academic year. (It all worked out).

[Anonymous]

Sounds like they were truly concerned about your kid, and part of that concern is if the current school is the right environment.

That said, it is great that the measures taken have been successful, but you should look very carefully during the fall and even consider applying to other independent schools as well as look at your local public, to make sure your child is being served best by the community they are in.

Counseling out is about make sure kids are well served. It shouldn't be taken as a slight. Kids change schools all of the time, and the goal is to be in a place where they will learn and have personal success.

If the current school is the right place as your child matures, then wonderful, but you should have an open dialogue as the school year winds down, over the summer and into the fall to ensure your child is in the right place, and if not, where would be better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One way you know you're being counseled out is if you aren't offered a re-enrollment contract for your child when all the other families are offered theirs. That was our prompt to immediately start looking for another school for our child for the following academic year. (It all worked out).

We've already paid next year's tuition.

[Anonymous]

We had a meeting like that one year around this time of year, where the HOS showed up. We got our child into therapy that summer and eventually started them on medication for anxiety. They were almost counseled out the next year but eventually were not counseled out.

[Anonymous]

I think they will wait to see if it gets better and if it doesn't, they will counsel you out for 6th grade. The classy schools give families advance notice so they can apply out for the following year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think they will wait to see if it gets better and if it doesn't, they will counsel you out for 6th grade. The classy schools give families advance notice so they can apply out for the following year.

How depressing. I was always the perfect child and never came close to being kicked out of school, so this is...just very distressing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think they will wait to see if it gets better and if it doesn't, they will counsel you out for 6th grade. The classy schools give families advance notice so they can apply out for the following year.

How depressing. I was always the perfect child and never came close to being kicked out of school, so this is...just very distressing.

OP I was speculating. 6th grade is far away. So don't read too much into it. The people I know who were counseled out were overwhelmed academically, and it was about finding a different school with less pressure and more support. All students grow and change as they get older. Anyway, counseled out is NOT the same as kicked out. Don't confuse the two.

[Anonymous]

When we were counseled out, it was after many, many meetings and after we and the school had tried many things to try to support DD. I would not read anything into a single meeting.

[Anonymous]

If nothing was said along the lines of doing X by X date, or “we are concerned this school isn’t the right fit/cannot meet your child’s needs,” you are not being counseled out.