It almost always means money. Everyone will rationalize and overlook messy trashy behavior and drama if you're multi-millionaires and own an upscale home. While the same exact messy trashy behavior would make you untouchable trash if you're just a random middle class family. |
1. Money
*gap* 2. Community status / standing / clout / reputation 3. Professions 4. Academic pedigree (grandparents, parents, kids) *gap* 5. Personality |
Taking care of and being attentive towards your kids. Having consequences for them. Teaching them to be kind to others. These are some aspects that don't seem to have been touched on. |
In America it’s certainly about money. “Good family” = rich family with an UMC/UC life and all that it connotes. |
Oh hell no. My parents are divorced, but very good. Our family is very functional. My inlaws are still married and the dysfunction is off the charts. |
All this. The model you are describing still holds true in Europe and did here too until the most recent 1-2 generations. Now all that matters in money, status, prestige, influence and people kowtow to that like vassals with a feudal lord. It’s sick. |
If you feel you don't know what's a good family, likely you don't have one. |
I think that what you describe as a Pakistani vs American difference may be something more like a rural vs urban difference. I’m a family doctor in the Midwest, and I can’t think of anyone I know who judges people more on their clothes or the gifts they give than my sister’s Pakistani MIL. |
I think money may have something to do with it. My grandparents as I said, weren’t wealthy so expensive goods were not a factor. I’m sure richer Pakistani families care more about money and status symbols. I personally think it’s gauche. |
Look at the Biden’s, Trumps, Kennedys, Bushes and peel back the curtain. You won’t like what’s under there. |
Good family doesn’t necessarily mean rich (“good schools, nice neighborhood”) like you think. |
I think I’m America, being someone who is a servant isn’t seen as honorable like it is in other countries. In some countries, it is an honor to serve (literally). |
When I was younger, I would have given a different answer, but now I see that the most important thing is how a family treats each other. The most well adjusted people I have met come from families that trust and support each other. My husband's parents are divorced but there is absolutely no drama in his family. Everyone is just happy to see each other and so genuine. They just seem to actually like each other. My husband is the most chill easygoing person I know. He makes friends easily and never gossips about or judges anyone.
My family is more educated and has more money than his and definitely looks better on paper. However, there is so much drama and competitiveness. All my mother does when I talk to her is complain about her mother or siblings. Its like she secretly wants her sibling's kid's to mess up so she feels better herself. I don't trust my own siblings and feel like I need to stay guarded around them. We all have trust, stress, and anxiety problems. |
The only relevance money has with being a “good family” is that you do need a certain amount of stability to cultivate the traits associated with class and being good. Beyond that, money is irrelevant as look at the Trumps. |
This typically means people with money who aren't criminals. |