Question for cheaters: Doesn’t social media (and family iPhone tracking) make cheating super risky?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
AND, to OP, they don't just have to worry about the AP---often it's the AP's spouse who finds out and blows their cover to everyone.

If you live an honest life, you don't have to worry about this crap. A lot of people end up doing this in a low point and the stress and strain from keep the facade drive them to drink and go into a downward spiral.

Yes, that too. Great point! The mistress or the mistress’s own spouse can find out everything about you and your spouse on social media and expose you at any moment. How is that specifically not driving cheaters insane? Everything is online, everyone overshares on Facebook, Instagram and/or LinkedIn.

I think most APs are also married and also don't want to leave their kids. It may frighten you to know this happens where two married people have a mutual respect for the boundaries of this and work very carefully around it to protect themselves and their kids. There may be bumps when it inevitably ends, but "good people" can still do this and not blow up another family even if they are hurt.

No. They can't. And you can't control their spouse and you know nothing about what they are really like---your dirtball fellow cheater may keep your secret but bets are off what his/her spouse or kids will do if one of them finds out. And, sadly, teens often find out before a parent which causes a great deal of mental health issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's easy to make the iphone location show you somewhere where you are not. You can drop the pin. These scumbags also will leave the phone in the parked car so location will show their at the office and the mistress will pick them up. They will do the same thing when they say they are at the gym, park leave phone and she picks him up.

The options are endless. It's disgusting. And, yes, most hard-core hos don't use their phone to text or call. They also use internet communications that leave no trace or they get pre-paid throw away burner phones or create burner email accounts they access in ignito mode and change every so often.

These freaks get off on the lying and secrecy as much as the s*x. Really disgusting when you see how much they go through to lie to their partners.

AND, to OP, they don't just have to worry about the AP---often it's the AP's spouse who finds out and blows their cover to everyone.

If you live an honest life, you don't have to worry about this crap. A lot of people end up doing this in a low point and the stress and strain from keep the facade drive them to drink and go into a downward spiral.

+1
Be better

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's easy to make the iphone location show you somewhere where you are not. You can drop the pin. These scumbags also will leave the phone in the parked car so location will show their at the office and the mistress will pick them up. They will do the same thing when they say they are at the gym, park leave phone and she picks him up.

The options are endless. It's disgusting. And, yes, most hard-core hos don't use their phone to text or call. They also use internet communications that leave no trace or they get pre-paid throw away burner phones or create burner email accounts they access in ignito mode and change every so often.

These freaks get off on the lying and secrecy as much as the s*x. Really disgusting when you see how much they go through to lie to their partners.

AND, to OP, they don't just have to worry about the AP---often it's the AP's spouse who finds out and blows their cover to everyone.

If you live an honest life, you don't have to worry about this crap. A lot of people end up doing this in a low point and the stress and strain from keep the facade drive them to drink and go into a downward spiral.

Yep to all of this. It was sad to watch someone you loved do this to themselves. It's just another addiction like alcohol or drugs or internet use.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
AND, to OP, they don't just have to worry about the AP---often it's the AP's spouse who finds out and blows their cover to everyone.

If you live an honest life, you don't have to worry about this crap. A lot of people end up doing this in a low point and the stress and strain from keep the facade drive them to drink and go into a downward spiral.

Yes, that too. Great point! The mistress or the mistress’s own spouse can find out everything about you and your spouse on social media and expose you at any moment. How is that specifically not driving cheaters insane? Everything is online, everyone overshares on Facebook, Instagram and/or LinkedIn.

I think most APs are also married and also don't want to leave their kids. It may frighten you to know this happens where two married people have a mutual respect for the boundaries of this and work very carefully around it to protect themselves and their kids. There may be bumps when it inevitably ends, but "good people" can still do this and not blow up another family even if they are hurt.

Newsflash: that's what he tells you. They don't want to leave their wife either. They will have their cake and eat it too and then throw you under the bus when it all comes out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Choose your AP wisely (usually this means also married and also has no interest in leaving family).
Don't share your location.

Most families already do share location. It’s not a big deal. It’d be super sketchy to suddenly stop.

I don't know anyone that does. Why would you? It's creepy AF. I don't need to know when DH steps out for lunch and he doesn't need to know where I am at all times. It's strange and borderline abusive IMHO.

It’s actually not creepy at all. I’m safely guessing you’re not married with kids.

I am married with 8 and 11yo kids. Sure, when mine goes off to MS they may have a dumb phone, but I won't track them for regular daily stuff. But I certainly would NEVER track my spouse or consent to being tracked unless I was hiking alone somewhere dangerous or something like that.

When the kids or tweens get iPhones, the whole family opts in to the find my friend or family sharing app. It’s genuinely super convenient and added peace of mind for the whole family. It’s the furthest thing from creepy.

My children will get a smartphone when they are 18 and can pay for it themselves. As my 11 y/o approaches middle school, my attitude on this has not changed. In fact, seeing her 10 and 11 y/o friends with iphones only makes me feel more strongly about it.

Okay, why are you in this thread? You sort of sound like a cheater pre-emptively trying to rationalize why the family won’t do location sharing when the kids are tweens or teens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
AND, to OP, they don't just have to worry about the AP---often it's the AP's spouse who finds out and blows their cover to everyone.

If you live an honest life, you don't have to worry about this crap. A lot of people end up doing this in a low point and the stress and strain from keep the facade drive them to drink and go into a downward spiral.

Yes, that too. Great point! The mistress or the mistress’s own spouse can find out everything about you and your spouse on social media and expose you at any moment. How is that specifically not driving cheaters insane? Everything is online, everyone overshares on Facebook, Instagram and/or LinkedIn.

I think most APs are also married and also don't want to leave their kids. It may frighten you to know this happens where two married people have a mutual respect for the boundaries of this and work very carefully around it to protect themselves and their kids. There may be bumps when it inevitably ends, but "good people" can still do this and not blow up another family even if they are hurt.

Most? I find that hard to believe. And what happens if the mistress divorces and starts obsessing with your seemingly perfect marriage via social media and the lies you told about how you were getting a divorce (too)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Choose your AP wisely (usually this means also married and also has no interest in leaving family).
Don't share your location.

Most families already do share location. It’s not a big deal. It’d be super sketchy to suddenly stop.

I don't know anyone that does. Why would you? It's creepy AF. I don't need to know when DH steps out for lunch and he doesn't need to know where I am at all times. It's strange and borderline abusive IMHO.

It’s actually not creepy at all. I’m safely guessing you’re not married with kids.

I am married with 8 and 11yo kids. Sure, when mine goes off to MS they may have a dumb phone, but I won't track them for regular daily stuff. But I certainly would NEVER track my spouse or consent to being tracked unless I was hiking alone somewhere dangerous or something like that.

When the kids or tweens get iPhones, the whole family opts in to the find my friend or family sharing app. It’s genuinely super convenient and added peace of mind for the whole family. It’s the furthest thing from creepy.

My children will get a smartphone when they are 18 and can pay for it themselves. As my 11 y/o approaches middle school, my attitude on this has not changed. In fact, seeing her 10 and 11 y/o friends with iphones only makes me feel more strongly about it.

Okay, why are you in this thread? You sort of sound like a cheater pre-emptively trying to rationalize why the family won’t do location sharing when the kids are tweens or teens.

Find My iPhone is not just family location sharing, it’s also in case you lose your phone so you can find it. Anyone acting nutty about your spouse being able to find your and your kids’ lost iPhone sounds like a cheater with something to hide.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Choose your AP wisely (usually this means also married and also has no interest in leaving family).
Don't share your location.

Most families already do share location. It’s not a big deal. It’d be super sketchy to suddenly stop.

I don't know anyone that does. Why would you? It's creepy AF. I don't need to know when DH steps out for lunch and he doesn't need to know where I am at all times. It's strange and borderline abusive IMHO.

It’s actually not creepy at all. I’m safely guessing you’re not married with kids.

Dp. I am married with kids and do not share my location, nor do I track my family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
AND, to OP, they don't just have to worry about the AP---often it's the AP's spouse who finds out and blows their cover to everyone.

If you live an honest life, you don't have to worry about this crap. A lot of people end up doing this in a low point and the stress and strain from keep the facade drive them to drink and go into a downward spiral.

Yes, that too. Great point! The mistress or the mistress’s own spouse can find out everything about you and your spouse on social media and expose you at any moment. How is that specifically not driving cheaters insane? Everything is online, everyone overshares on Facebook, Instagram and/or LinkedIn.

I think most APs are also married and also don't want to leave their kids. It may frighten you to know this happens where two married people have a mutual respect for the boundaries of this and work very carefully around it to protect themselves and their kids. There may be bumps when it inevitably ends, but "good people" can still do this and not blow up another family even if they are hurt.

Most? I find that hard to believe. And what happens if the mistress divorces and starts obsessing with your seemingly perfect marriage via social media and the lies you told about how you were getting a divorce (too)?

They get the feels and start turning up the heat on him. Full court press. When emotions are involved it gets ugly. Most are ultimately after an exit affair, no matter how much they will protest they are only in it for sex. He starts freaking out and trying to figure out how to extricate without her going full psycho. People are fools. Everything comes at a cost.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
AND, to OP, they don't just have to worry about the AP---often it's the AP's spouse who finds out and blows their cover to everyone.

If you live an honest life, you don't have to worry about this crap. A lot of people end up doing this in a low point and the stress and strain from keep the facade drive them to drink and go into a downward spiral.

Yes, that too. Great point! The mistress or the mistress’s own spouse can find out everything about you and your spouse on social media and expose you at any moment. How is that specifically not driving cheaters insane? Everything is online, everyone overshares on Facebook, Instagram and/or LinkedIn.

I think most APs are also married and also don't want to leave their kids. It may frighten you to know this happens where two married people have a mutual respect for the boundaries of this and work very carefully around it to protect themselves and their kids. There may be bumps when it inevitably ends, but "good people" can still do this and not blow up another family even if they are hurt.

Most? I find that hard to believe. And what happens if the mistress divorces and starts obsessing with your seemingly perfect marriage via social media and the lies you told about how you were getting a divorce (too)?

They get the feels and start turning up the heat on him. Full court press. When emotions are involved it gets ugly. Most are ultimately after an exit affair, no matter how much they will protest they are only in it for sex. He starts freaking out and trying to figure out how to extricate without her going full psycho. People are fools. Everything comes at a cost.

Yeah, that’s what I assume. Back in recent memory you could clean break and just block a number. Or you’d never worry about an out-of-state fling coming back to haunt you. But now? The fling knows EVERYTHING about you and your family and can send an e-message from California to your wife in Arlington. At any moment. Perhaps he or she isn’t the type to snitch but after a couple glasses of late night wine they’re searching your spouse’s Facebook and they snap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Choose your AP wisely (usually this means also married and also has no interest in leaving family).
Don't share your location.

Most families already do share location. It’s not a big deal. It’d be super sketchy to suddenly stop.

I don't know anyone that does. Why would you? It's creepy AF. I don't need to know when DH steps out for lunch and he doesn't need to know where I am at all times. It's strange and borderline abusive IMHO.

It’s actually not creepy at all. I’m safely guessing you’re not married with kids.

Dp. I am married with kids and do not share my location, nor do I track my family.

It’s a Godsend when the kids are teens and in a lot of clubs or travel sports. And especially when they turn 16 and start driving.

[Anonymous]

Track away. My AP tells his wife exactly where he is. Just not that’s he’s with me.

[Anonymous]

i can also tell you that it is possible to recover deleted texts on an iphone that were sent in the last 30 days. google it. it's about 2-3 steps, very easy. my DH has no clue how i have seen the full breadth of what he has done lately. He thinks I installed software on his phone. no need. Recovering deleted texts (within last 30 days) is very easy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i can also tell you that it is possible to recover deleted texts on an iphone that were sent in the last 30 days. google it. it's about 2-3 steps, very easy. my DH has no clue how i have seen the full breadth of what he has done lately. He thinks I installed software on his phone. no need. Recovering deleted texts (within last 30 days) is very easy.

Smart! But don’t a lot of APs use apps to communicate through? I don’t think it’s as easy through those…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i can also tell you that it is possible to recover deleted texts on an iphone that were sent in the last 30 days. google it. it's about 2-3 steps, very easy. my DH has no clue how i have seen the full breadth of what he has done lately. He thinks I installed software on his phone. no need. Recovering deleted texts (within last 30 days) is very easy.

On someone else’s phone?