Question for cheaters: Doesn’t social media (and family iPhone tracking) make cheating super risky?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Choose your AP wisely (usually this means also married and also has no interest in leaving family).
Don't share your location.

Most families already do share location. It’s not a big deal. It’d be super sketchy to suddenly stop.

I don't know anyone that does. Why would you? It's creepy AF. I don't need to know when DH steps out for lunch and he doesn't need to know where I am at all times. It's strange and borderline abusive IMHO.

It’s actually not creepy at all. I’m safely guessing you’re not married with kids.

Np. It’s totally creepy and I would never let anybody share my location and I was married for a decade. Absolutely not. Absolutely creepy I didn’t even wanna cell phone when they came out in my early 20s because I didn’t want to be accessible to anyone and 24/7. Tracking my location. No one is doing that. Not even my kids not my mom not my husband now my ex-husband. no one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Choose your AP wisely (usually this means also married and also has no interest in leaving family).
Don't share your location.

Most families already do share location. It’s not a big deal. It’d be super sketchy to suddenly stop.

I don't know anyone that does. Why would you? It's creepy AF. I don't need to know when DH steps out for lunch and he doesn't need to know where I am at all times. It's strange and borderline abusive IMHO.

Agree. DH and I do not share are locations. We do have 13 year-old DS's phone set up to share location with me, but I have never actually checked it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are plenty of families who do not check location. I never do.

Okay, even aside from the family iPhone location monitoring, the mistress has your family and spouse’s life story at their fingertips.

You’re assuming most cheaters tell their AP who they really are or that these are years long affairs. There is no reason to say who you really are and ONS are very common.

[Anonymous]

My ex had several phones, one left at work. They don't always use the same phone.

[Anonymous]

Work computers. Personal computers Etc. So many ways. Which is why after it happened the 3rd time I was out. No way was I going to be tracking that mess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Choose your AP wisely (usually this means also married and also has no interest in leaving family).
Don't share your location.

Most families already do share location. It’s not a big deal. It’d be super sketchy to suddenly stop.

I don't know anyone that does. Why would you? It's creepy AF. I don't need to know when DH steps out for lunch and he doesn't need to know where I am at all times. It's strange and borderline abusive IMHO.

It’s actually not creepy at all. I’m safely guessing you’re not married with kids.

I am married with 8 and 11yo kids. Sure, when mine goes off to MS they may have a dumb phone, but I won't track them for regular daily stuff. But I certainly would NEVER track my spouse or consent to being tracked unless I was hiking alone somewhere dangerous or something like that.

When the kids or tweens get iPhones, the whole family opts in to the find my friend or family sharing app. It’s genuinely super convenient and added peace of mind for the whole family. It’s the furthest thing from creepy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are plenty of families who do not check location. I never do.

Okay, even aside from the family iPhone location monitoring, the mistress has your family and spouse’s life story at their fingertips.

You’re assuming most cheaters tell their AP who they really are or that these are years long affairs. There is no reason to say who you really are and ONS are very common.

Lots of people are jumping into bed and carrying on affairs with people with obviously fake names? I find that very hard to believe. Most affairs are happening with people you meet at or adjacent work, so it’s kind of hard to lie about who you are at that point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Work computers. Personal computers Etc. So many ways. Which is why after it happened the 3rd time I was out. No way was I going to be tracking that mess.

It’s not even about tracking. So many movies about the mistress showing up at a cheater’s family home or calling the family home. Now all the mistress has to do is Facebook message or send a note to a publicly available work email. So you cheat and you just hope the other party doesn’t expose you with a few clicks on his or her computer? I would be a paranoid wreck! Tick, tock that note from a jilted mistress could be sent to your spouse at any moment.

[Anonymous]

It's easy to make the iphone location show you somewhere where you are not. You can drop the pin. These scumbags also will leave the phone in the parked car so location will show their at the office and the mistress will pick them up. They will do the same thing when they say they are at the gym, park leave phone and she picks him up.

The options are endless. It's disgusting. And, yes, most hard-core hos don't use their phone to text or call. They also use internet communications that leave no trace or they get pre-paid throw away burner phones or create burner email accounts they access in ignito mode and change every so often.

These freaks get off on the lying and secrecy as much as the s*x. Really disgusting when you see how much they go through to lie to their partners.

AND, to OP, they don't just have to worry about the AP---often it's the AP's spouse who finds out and blows their cover to everyone.

If you live an honest life, you don't have to worry about this crap. A lot of people end up doing this in a low point and the stress and strain from keep the facade drive them to drink and go into a downward spiral.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are plenty of families who do not check location. I never do.

Okay, even aside from the family iPhone location monitoring, the mistress has your family and spouse’s life story at their fingertips.

You’re assuming most cheaters tell their AP who they really are or that these are years long affairs. There is no reason to say who you really are and ONS are very common.

Lots of people are jumping into bed and carrying on affairs with people with obviously fake names? I find that very hard to believe. Most affairs are happening with people you meet at or adjacent work, so it’s kind of hard to lie about who you are at that point.

Especially when your (confirmed) career status is usually a foundation of your attractiveness. And if you have money, the other party is going to wonder how. And why you don’t exist on LinkedIn. It’s a bit unrealistic to think you can pretend to be a Langley spook or something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
AND, to OP, they don't just have to worry about the AP---often it's the AP's spouse who finds out and blows their cover to everyone.

If you live an honest life, you don't have to worry about this crap. A lot of people end up doing this in a low point and the stress and strain from keep the facade drive them to drink and go into a downward spiral.

Yes, that too. Great point! The mistress or the mistress’s own spouse can find out everything about you and your spouse on social media and expose you at any moment. How is that specifically not driving cheaters insane? Everything is online, everyone overshares on Facebook, Instagram and/or LinkedIn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Choose your AP wisely (usually this means also married and also has no interest in leaving family).
Don't share your location.

Most families already do share location. It’s not a big deal. It’d be super sketchy to suddenly stop.

I don't know anyone that does. Why would you? It's creepy AF. I don't need to know when DH steps out for lunch and he doesn't need to know where I am at all times. It's strange and borderline abusive IMHO.

It’s actually not creepy at all. I’m safely guessing you’re not married with kids.

I am married with 8 and 11yo kids. Sure, when mine goes off to MS they may have a dumb phone, but I won't track them for regular daily stuff. But I certainly would NEVER track my spouse or consent to being tracked unless I was hiking alone somewhere dangerous or something like that.

When the kids or tweens get iPhones, the whole family opts in to the find my friend or family sharing app. It’s genuinely super convenient and added peace of mind for the whole family. It’s the furthest thing from creepy.

My children will get a smartphone when they are 18 and can pay for it themselves. As my 11 y/o approaches middle school, my attitude on this has not changed. In fact, seeing her 10 and 11 y/o friends with iphones only makes me feel more strongly about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Choose your AP wisely (usually this means also married and also has no interest in leaving family).
Don't share your location.

Most families already do share location. It’s not a big deal. It’d be super sketchy to suddenly stop.

I don't know anyone that does. Why would you? It's creepy AF. I don't need to know when DH steps out for lunch and he doesn't need to know where I am at all times. It's strange and borderline abusive IMHO.

It’s actually not creepy at all. I’m safely guessing you’re not married with kids.

I am married with 8 and 11yo kids. Sure, when mine goes off to MS they may have a dumb phone, but I won't track them for regular daily stuff. But I certainly would NEVER track my spouse or consent to being tracked unless I was hiking alone somewhere dangerous or something like that.

When the kids or tweens get iPhones, the whole family opts in to the find my friend or family sharing app. It’s genuinely super convenient and added peace of mind for the whole family. It’s the furthest thing from creepy.

My children will get a smartphone when they are 18 and can pay for it themselves. As my 11 y/o approaches middle school, my attitude on this has not changed. In fact, seeing her 10 and 11 y/o friends with iphones only makes me feel more strongly about it.

We went through this recently when I wanted to give my 12 yo a phone with only voice and text capabilities. Apparently it's not easy to find one like that any more as all phones have data enabled as a feature. Did you find a dumb phone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
AND, to OP, they don't just have to worry about the AP---often it's the AP's spouse who finds out and blows their cover to everyone.

If you live an honest life, you don't have to worry about this crap. A lot of people end up doing this in a low point and the stress and strain from keep the facade drive them to drink and go into a downward spiral.

Yes, that too. Great point! The mistress or the mistress’s own spouse can find out everything about you and your spouse on social media and expose you at any moment. How is that specifically not driving cheaters insane? Everything is online, everyone overshares on Facebook, Instagram and/or LinkedIn.

I think most APs are also married and also don't want to leave their kids. It may frighten you to know this happens where two married people have a mutual respect for the boundaries of this and work very carefully around it to protect themselves and their kids. There may be bumps when it inevitably ends, but "good people" can still do this and not blow up another family even if they are hurt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Choose your AP wisely (usually this means also married and also has no interest in leaving family).
Don't share your location.

Most families already do share location. It’s not a big deal. It’d be super sketchy to suddenly stop.

I don't know anyone that does. Why would you? It's creepy AF. I don't need to know when DH steps out for lunch and he doesn't need to know where I am at all times. It's strange and borderline abusive IMHO.

It’s actually not creepy at all. I’m safely guessing you’re not married with kids.

I am married with 8 and 11yo kids. Sure, when mine goes off to MS they may have a dumb phone, but I won't track them for regular daily stuff. But I certainly would NEVER track my spouse or consent to being tracked unless I was hiking alone somewhere dangerous or something like that.

When the kids or tweens get iPhones, the whole family opts in to the find my friend or family sharing app. It’s genuinely super convenient and added peace of mind for the whole family. It’s the furthest thing from creepy.

My children will get a smartphone when they are 18 and can pay for it themselves. As my 11 y/o approaches middle school, my attitude on this has not changed. In fact, seeing her 10 and 11 y/o friends with iphones only makes me feel more strongly about it.

We went through this recently when I wanted to give my 12 yo a phone with only voice and text capabilities. Apparently it's not easy to find one like that any more as all phones have data enabled as a feature. Did you find a dumb phone?

There are at least a handful of phones specifically for kids on the market at this point. Gabb is one. I will look into it in a few months before DD goes off to middle school, though not sure she will be getting one just yet.