6th grader with friends and good grades really dislikes school/doesn't want to go

[Anonymous]

My 6th grader DS had been refusing to go to school. We just found out that he’s been bullied, ignored at school. He even had a thought of suicidal
I’m heart broken. We will be addressing to the school office tomorrow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you in LCPS?

OP here. Yes, actually.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm sorry for all these rude people making assumptions and telling you what to do based on them. Go away, mean people!

I agree with the "BTDT" parent and want to underscore that, as an education professional, I see school being boring ALL THE TIME. Especially since the pandemic, there are a lot of virtual tools being used (Nearpod; screencasts) where students engage virtually but teachers don't necessary discuss things with students or even look at their work during class to share meaningful feedback. I think many teachers are just hanging on, and for them, student compliance is success. I don't mean to cast aspersions on teachers; I get it. But I think the world where teachers engage the class intellectually and make 1:1 connections has dissipated a bit, and teachers are erring on the side of not stressing students out. So I can see why a smart kid in large classes in a public school system might be bored.

I would hope that more advanced classes in HS will scratch the itch, but that is indeed a long ways away. I see my own 6th grader seeming miserable sometimes for no dire reason, and it's hard to watch. Sometimes, you just get lackluster teachers, and then the next year, better ones. I would just focus on making home time fun--reading aloud with your kid, watching a good TV series together ("High School Musical the Musical The Series" is pretty dumb, but my kid likes it!) Go out and get a milkshake. No need to be like, "Oh, you poor thing, I'm devoting my life to cheering you up" because I think that can be as stressful for the kid, but just leaning into the fun together may help.

Good luck. I'm glad you're asking for advice. I hope some of this is helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 6th grader DS had been refusing to go to school. We just found out that he’s been bullied, ignored at school. He even had a thought of suicidal
I’m heart broken. We will be addressing to the school office tomorrow.

I'm so very sorry, PP. Sixth-graders can be some of the worst people on the planet. I hope the school listens and that things turn around. Kids can recover and I hope yours does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm sorry for all these rude people making assumptions and telling you what to do based on them. Go away, mean people!

I agree with the "BTDT" parent and want to underscore that, as an education professional, I see school being boring ALL THE TIME. Especially since the pandemic, there are a lot of virtual tools being used (Nearpod; screencasts) where students engage virtually but teachers don't necessary discuss things with students or even look at their work during class to share meaningful feedback. I think many teachers are just hanging on, and for them, student compliance is success. I don't mean to cast aspersions on teachers; I get it. But I think the world where teachers engage the class intellectually and make 1:1 connections has dissipated a bit, and teachers are erring on the side of not stressing students out. So I can see why a smart kid in large classes in a public school system might be bored.

I would hope that more advanced classes in HS will scratch the itch, but that is indeed a long ways away. I see my own 6th grader seeming miserable sometimes for no dire reason, and it's hard to watch. Sometimes, you just get lackluster teachers, and then the next year, better ones. I would just focus on making home time fun--reading aloud with your kid, watching a good TV series together ("High School Musical the Musical The Series" is pretty dumb, but my kid likes it!) Go out and get a milkshake. No need to be like, "Oh, you poor thing, I'm devoting my life to cheering you up" because I think that can be as stressful for the kid, but just leaning into the fun together may help.

Good luck. I'm glad you're asking for advice. I hope some of this is helpful.

I think this is a huge part of it. I responded up thread about my 7th grader hating school, and this is a HUGE reason why.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 6th grader DS had been refusing to go to school. We just found out that he’s been bullied, ignored at school. He even had a thought of suicidal
I’m heart broken. We will be addressing to the school office tomorrow.

I'm so very sorry, PP. Sixth-graders can be some of the worst people on the planet. I hope the school listens and that things turn around. Kids can recover and I hope yours does.

OP here. Why are some 6th graders so mean? Do they have terrible home lives? I just don’t understand. It’s one thing to have a bad day or be accidentally blunt/mean without intent but some of these kids seem to just be permanently mean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 6th grader DS had been refusing to go to school. We just found out that he’s been bullied, ignored at school. He even had a thought of suicidal
I’m heart broken. We will be addressing to the school office tomorrow.

I'm so very sorry, PP. Sixth-graders can be some of the worst people on the planet. I hope the school listens and that things turn around. Kids can recover and I hope yours does.

OP here. Why are some 6th graders so mean? Do they have terrible home lives? I just don’t understand. It’s one thing to have a bad day or be accidentally blunt/mean without intent but some of these kids seem to just be permanently mean.

The good and bad about sixth grade is that nothing is permanent.

They are trying to find their tribes and many feel that they have to put someone down to fit in better. Or a social group can get stronger by forming a common enemy or finding a weakling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 6th grader DS had been refusing to go to school. We just found out that he’s been bullied, ignored at school. He even had a thought of suicidal
I’m heart broken. We will be addressing to the school office tomorrow.

I'm so very sorry, PP. Sixth-graders can be some of the worst people on the planet. I hope the school listens and that things turn around. Kids can recover and I hope yours does.

OP here. Why are some 6th graders so mean? Do they have terrible home lives? I just don’t understand. It’s one thing to have a bad day or be accidentally blunt/mean without intent but some of these kids seem to just be permanently mean.

The good and bad about sixth grade is that nothing is permanent.

They are trying to find their tribes and many feel that they have to put someone down to fit in better. Or a social group can get stronger by forming a common enemy or finding a weakling.

It’s pretty disturbing and shows weak character and poor parenting if your kid is still that mean at age 12. Do better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 6th grader DS had been refusing to go to school. We just found out that he’s been bullied, ignored at school. He even had a thought of suicidal
I’m heart broken. We will be addressing to the school office tomorrow.

I'm so very sorry, PP. Sixth-graders can be some of the worst people on the planet. I hope the school listens and that things turn around. Kids can recover and I hope yours does.

OP here. Why are some 6th graders so mean? Do they have terrible home lives? I just don’t understand. It’s one thing to have a bad day or be accidentally blunt/mean without intent but some of these kids seem to just be permanently mean.

The good and bad about sixth grade is that nothing is permanent.

They are trying to find their tribes and many feel that they have to put someone down to fit in better. Or a social group can get stronger by forming a common enemy or finding a weakling.

It’s pretty disturbing and shows weak character and poor parenting if your kid is still that mean at age 12. Do better.

Are you talking to me, the poster you're responding to?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm sorry for all these rude people making assumptions and telling you what to do based on them. Go away, mean people!

I agree with the "BTDT" parent and want to underscore that, as an education professional, I see school being boring ALL THE TIME. Especially since the pandemic, there are a lot of virtual tools being used (Nearpod; screencasts) where students engage virtually but teachers don't necessary discuss things with students or even look at their work during class to share meaningful feedback. I think many teachers are just hanging on, and for them, student compliance is success. I don't mean to cast aspersions on teachers; I get it. But I think the world where teachers engage the class intellectually and make 1:1 connections has dissipated a bit, and teachers are erring on the side of not stressing students out. So I can see why a smart kid in large classes in a public school system might be bored.

I would hope that more advanced classes in HS will scratch the itch, but that is indeed a long ways away. I see my own 6th grader seeming miserable sometimes for no dire reason, and it's hard to watch. Sometimes, you just get lackluster teachers, and then the next year, better ones. I would just focus on making home time fun--reading aloud with your kid, watching a good TV series together ("High School Musical the Musical The Series" is pretty dumb, but my kid likes it!) Go out and get a milkshake. No need to be like, "Oh, you poor thing, I'm devoting my life to cheering you up" because I think that can be as stressful for the kid, but just leaning into the fun together may help.

Good luck. I'm glad you're asking for advice. I hope some of this is helpful.

I think this is a huge part of it. I responded up thread about my 7th grader hating school, and this is a HUGE reason why.

+2 What education professional describes is exactly what I'm seeing with my 6th grader.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 6th grader DS had been refusing to go to school. We just found out that he’s been bullied, ignored at school. He even had a thought of suicidal
I’m heart broken. We will be addressing to the school office tomorrow.

I'm so very sorry, PP. Sixth-graders can be some of the worst people on the planet. I hope the school listens and that things turn around. Kids can recover and I hope yours does.

OP here. Why are some 6th graders so mean? Do they have terrible home lives? I just don’t understand. It’s one thing to have a bad day or be accidentally blunt/mean without intent but some of these kids seem to just be permanently mean.

The good and bad about sixth grade is that nothing is permanent.

They are trying to find their tribes and many feel that they have to put someone down to fit in better. Or a social group can get stronger by forming a common enemy or finding a weakling.

It’s pretty disturbing and shows weak character and poor parenting if your kid is still that mean at age 12. Do better.

Are you talking to me, the poster you're responding to?

Mean kids in general and their parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I doubt it’s the fact she’s bored give me a break

Why? So many schools dumbed down their curriculum during Covid and it stayed dumbed down. I know lots of kids that are bored out of their minds. Unfortunately, unless you can get her into a better school, this us something she needs to just tolerate. For next year, make sure she is in any advanced classes she can get into.

[Anonymous]

I agree that it actually can just be straight up boredom. My DD really struggled last year in 5th with boredom. Changing classes in middle has helped. She’s outgoing and has lots of friends, signs up for clubs even when her friends aren’t etc. She just tells me several times a week she doesn’t want to go because it’s boring. I believe her - I remember being bored too.

H and I explained truancy to her and the law, that seemed to work for now.

I would contact the counselor since it’s been going on for awhile and see if you can come up with a plan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 6th grader DS had been refusing to go to school. We just found out that he’s been bullied, ignored at school. He even had a thought of suicidal
I’m heart broken. We will be addressing to the school office tomorrow.

I am sorry. This sucks, but do realize it’s normal. My son’s good friends were mean to him. He said all the kids were mean in 6th and 7th grade. Luckily most seem to grow out of it.