Both parents have COVID and influenza-how to work with nanny?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I both have COVID 19 and influenza A. I also have walking pneumonia. We have 2 kids. One is 6 and self sufficient, but the other one is 3 and has autism and epilepsy and is prone to self harm, destruction, and running away from us. He’s also extremely hyperactive and has zero interest in screens. Like, NONE.

We’ve had fevers of 103-104. DH was hallucinating last night from delirium. We are both very seriously ill.

Our nanny took our 3 year old to her house on Wednesday because we were sick and has had him ever since. I said I’d come get him tonight but I don’t think I can do it. I can’t even get myself to the bathroom alone.

I want to ask our nanny to keep my son for the weekend, but I’m so scared she will say no. Im willing to pay her upwards of $1k/day. I’ve reached out to other babysitters but nobody will take our son, and definitely not for a weekend. Everyone is concerned since he’s been exposed to covid and flu. We also need someone to take him away from our house and not everyone is set up for that.

Any tips for how to navigate this?

I would still ask her and insist on paying her $1000/day and more if she would take both. Both you and your DH need time to let his play out and to recover. I would also call an agency for elder care and have a LPN time and take care of the two of you.

Do you have family who can help?

I remember when I was around 10 that basically the same scenario and the women in the neighborhood came over, took charge and gave my parents the time they needed to recover from flu. Shame the bushes until some help falls out!

[Anonymous]

Shake the bushes not shame!^^

[Anonymous]

Shake the bushes not shame!^^

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. How do I phrase this to the nanny? Do I just come out and offer her the $2k for the weekend? Do I offer more? I know she loves our DS and don’t want to insult our nanny but I want to make clear that we’re extremely desperate for her help and willing to pay for it.

Read your original post and just tell her the same way! You are desperate and it calls for desperate measures. I already posted about seeing if you can get an elder care LPN.

This flu stays around. I can down with it mid-January and also had strep. I am still recovering because it leaves you exhausted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Nanny to the rescue, thank goodness.

Are we still able to send our kids to school while we are sick? I’m trying to think about the week ahead and can’t remember the quarantine rules anymore.

DO NOT SEND YOUR KIDS TO SCHOOL LIKE THIS. Do you want another family to go through what you are going though right now?

Covid is expensive, it cost our family $3,800 for arrangements while we were ill. It's what you do to be a decent human being.

Op here. I think since they are vaccinated they don’t have to quarantine due to close contact anymore? I thought that was the new CDC rule.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I both have COVID 19 and influenza A. I also have walking pneumonia. We have 2 kids. One is 6 and self sufficient, but the other one is 3 and has autism and epilepsy and is prone to self harm, destruction, and running away from us. He’s also extremely hyperactive and has zero interest in screens. Like, NONE.

We’ve had fevers of 103-104. DH was hallucinating last night from delirium. We are both very seriously ill.

Our nanny took our 3 year old to her house on Wednesday because we were sick and has had him ever since. I said I’d come get him tonight but I don’t think I can do it. I can’t even get myself to the bathroom alone.

I want to ask our nanny to keep my son for the weekend, but I’m so scared she will say no. Im willing to pay her upwards of $1k/day. I’ve reached out to other babysitters but nobody will take our son, and definitely not for a weekend. Everyone is concerned since he’s been exposed to covid and flu. We also need someone to take him away from our house and not everyone is set up for that.

Any tips for how to navigate this?

I would still ask her and insist on paying her $1000/day and more if she would take both. Both you and your DH need time to let his play out and to recover. I would also call an agency for elder care and have a LPN time and take care of the two of you.

Do you have family who can help?

I remember when I was around 10 that basically the same scenario and the women in the neighborhood came over, took charge and gave my parents the time they needed to recover from flu. Shame the bushes until some help falls out!

Op here. We have wonderful neighbors and my dad lives close by, but everyone scatters when they hear covid/flu because they are afraid of getting sick. We had a hard time finding anyone to take our kids because nobody wants to come into a house with illness or take a kid from a house full of illness (even if the kid isn’t sick).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you talk to her vs. us? This makes no sense to post here. Clearly you are well enough to post and be on social media. You had the kid a tablet and keep him in the bed next to you. I don't get how you are posting here a very clear post and yet saying you are that sick. When I'm that sick I cannot use even a tablet.

Op here. I’ve of course reached out to our nanny and asked for a call and am waiting to hear back.

Ds won’t watch a tablet or a screen. He never stops moving. Ever.

I’m ok in this moment but the fevers tend to come on fast and furious in the evening.

"Ds won’t watch a tablet or a screen. He never stops moving. Ever. "

How do you entertain your son or keep him busy? Does he sleep 8-12 hours?

Op here. It takes extreme amounts of effort. We have a lot of help. DS requires at minimum one strong and fast adult to have hands free and eyes on him 100% of the time. So it requires 2 adults to really watch him because you can’t even prepare food while watching him because he’s so fast and destructive.

Honestly this is a huge part of why we are in this situation. DH and I kept getting sick over and over again since October but we didn’t really have any option but to suck it up and push through no matter how bad we felt. But we never got to get any rest or good sleep because our son is so challenging. And so then in the last week we just got taken down and I wound up hospitalized. We’re improving but still in a pretty bad situation.

Our sweet 6 year old is loving life right now though since he’s getting so much time with just DH and I. And unlimited screen time lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Nanny to the rescue, thank goodness.

Are we still able to send our kids to school while we are sick? I’m trying to think about the week ahead and can’t remember the quarantine rules anymore.

DO NOT SEND YOUR KIDS TO SCHOOL LIKE THIS. Do you want another family to go through what you are going though right now?

Covid is expensive, it cost our family $3,800 for arrangements while we were ill. It's what you do to be a decent human being.

Op here. I think since they are vaccinated they don’t have to quarantine due to close contact anymore? I thought that was the new CDC rule.

You’re correct OP. Your kids don’t have to do anything if they’re not sick. They can go to school.

[Anonymous]

At least send your kid masked!! Better to keep home but def should have a good mask (kn95 or kf94) if you send them. You should test the kid daily too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At least send your kid masked!! Better to keep home but def should have a good mask (kn95 or kf94) if you send them. You should test the kid daily too.

Op here. The weird thing is DH and I never tested positive on our at home tests-and we took many of them! We only ever got a positive at the doctors office on a PCR.

Our child with autism will not wear a mask but our 6 year old will, no problem.

We can test them but after this experience I have zero faith in the home tests.

[Anonymous]

The home test clearly states the real possibility of false negative test results! I had flu symptoms but took COVID test and it was negative BUT, having read the instructions on the home test, went to Dr. and was tested and it was negative for Covid. A throat culture was positive for a streo.

I have sympathy for your situation but stop blaming home test for your lack of reading comprehension

[Anonymous]

OP- look for a local crisis nursery. I interned at one in college and this is exactly what they are for. 24/7 safe, qualified care for families in some sort of trauma or emergency. We had families that were dealing with illness, abuse, natural disasters, homelessness, addiction, trauma, etc. People would drop their kids off for up to 2 week and we'd do everything- play, feed, bathe, get outside, transport to school and back if needed, do their laundry, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The home test clearly states the real possibility of false negative test results! I had flu symptoms but took COVID test and it was negative BUT, having read the instructions on the home test, went to Dr. and was tested and it was negative for Covid. A throat culture was positive for a streo.

I have sympathy for your situation but stop blaming home test for your lack of reading comprehension

Op here. Not blaming anyone or anything but just saying I don’t have faith in home tests and don’t see myself using them in the future. If I need to know if I have COVID, I’ll do a PCR.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP- look for a local crisis nursery. I interned at one in college and this is exactly what they are for. 24/7 safe, qualified care for families in some sort of trauma or emergency. We had families that were dealing with illness, abuse, natural disasters, homelessness, addiction, trauma, etc. People would drop their kids off for up to 2 week and we'd do everything- play, feed, bathe, get outside, transport to school and back if needed, do their laundry, etc.

Op here. Thank you! I had no idea this was a thing. I will look into it.

[Anonymous]

How are you and your husband doing OP? Glad nanny accepted the care. I'm a nanny myself and for the rate you offered, would have accepted too, fwiw. Hope all is well.