What happens if I don't host playdate/birthday party
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Anonymous
| I mean growing up (the grieving up) |
Anonymous
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I don't keep track of these kinds of things.
Bday party invites from us have zero to do with who has invited (parties or playdates) my kid in the past. For playdates, my kid drives the interest. Not sure how old your oldest is, PP, but at 4yo, it's more about the parents than the kids. So, if you are not inviting people over and building some connections, you may not be top of mind when others are making plans. But that will all end eventually, when kids drive it more than parents. It would be nice to have bday parties, though. They don't need to be lavish or include everyone. |
Anonymous
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Wouldn’t change invites to birthday parities for us.
But in time, it would reduce play date invites if you didn’t reciprocate in some capacity, even just reaching out time to time to meet at a park or community event. I’m totally cognizant that not everyone has the home infrastructure to host there, but if you’re not inviting my child to do anything, then I assume you’re not that interested in our company. Now, I will qualify this that I do know some families do have their own challenges, and I try to give a lot of leeway and grace, especially if our kids are extra close at school or I know you’re having a tough time. I’d still probably invite your kid to group dates at our house, but probably wouldn’t be super active about 1 on 1s. |
Anonymous
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Op here. My little girl's bday is in february, and I am not going to do it at a playground. We plan to bring cupcake & cookies to daycare on her birthday, maybe goodie bags. But there are a few parents only have done small birthday party at their houses (like range from 3 kids to 10 kids only) or venue (15-20 kids only), and my girl is invited. Her daycare has 24 kids in her class. We have done many playground playdates many times for a small group of few kids, and 1 kid somehow seems to be kicked out of the playdate group these days. What happens is that that little kid sometimes does not play well with other kids but the kid's parents are nice. That kid is friend with my little girl. My girl can play well with many kids.
I grew up from a culture that no birthday party outside of family & I ever have playdate in my life. My house is cluttered and does not have many toys. My little girl is social and I don't have to worry about her social situation. Our weekend is busy with both my youngest & oldest activities ( dance, swim, soccer and etc). Unlike some family that only have 1 kid or their kid may need some friends, my little girl's social situation ia my least worry and she has older sibling to play with. I will do daycare party, but I don't plan to do an outside of daycare party. And, I may do group playdate invite at playground when weather is warmer. |
Anonymous
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I only have family birthday celebrations and my girls get invited to all the parties. It’s overwhelming keeping up with all the invites. No one except A petty person is tracking if you had a party. These kids are too young, and it’s definitely for the parents at young ages. We are not moochers, we just have other priorities.
We do play dates but I choose not to spend on expensive parties. |
Anonymous
My nephew literally did not want a party until he was 8. They will be ok! |
Anonymous
Do you actually like doing these things (play dates and birthday parties outside your family)? Or are you just doing it because American culture tells you you are supposed to do them? If you actually like doing these things, and it’s not just social pressure, then explain to the people who have invited you to their house why you can’t invite them to yours. Just tell them the truth - that you are very willing to host at a public place, but not at your house. I think it is rude to go to all the 1 on 1 invites and not explain your situation. If they understand then good. If not, then so be it. They’ll stop inviting you. But at least you said something so they don’t sit there and think that you are rude or don’t have manners. If you don’t want to have to explain your situation that’s fine too. Some people don’t want to share private information. Just decline the invites. |
Anonymous
| Honestly for preschool/daycare I don't think it matters much. Many families don't do preschool playdates because it requires alot more parental involvement than when they get bigger and go off and play on their own. If you have multiple kids and work then you probably don't prioritize having them. It'll play a larger role in elementary for reasons other PPs have mentioned. |
Anonymous
Why elementary is more important? |
Anonymous
You don’t think it’s important for older children to have friends and Social activities outside the school environment and members of their families? Activities are fine, but they don’t support just hanging around and engaging in play or talk. |
Anonymous
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It’s fine OP. It’s just daycare, you won’t see most of these families again. But don’t you have parties for your older child who is presumably in elementary?
Also, it sounds like you are overscheduling your kids. Too many activities. Too stressed to clean up your own home. |
Anonymous
| OP, it's very confusing - you have organizational skills to put together a very busy schedule with classes for your children and schlep them around to these classes, but you lack the organizational skills to buy a cake from giant and send an email "Birthday in the park on date x"? How does it work? |
Anonymous
Former requires only driving and then scrolling through your phone during classes. Latter requires face-to-face conversation with your guests and kids. Big difference. |
Anonymous
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Some parents are just show off.
If you don’t want a birthday this early age that is fine |
Anonymous
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Birthdays most of the time is too show off. Nothing about the child.
Just stupid drinks and empty talks |