Son pledging there’s definitely hazing

[Anonymous]

Just make sure to give him plenty of support. Make sure he understands it’s totally OK to walk away. Make sure he understands what the dangers are and how severe they can be without making him unnecessarily scared I know this is a tough balance. He is an adult and I cannot see any benefits to you saying that you refuse to allow him to pledge.

[Anonymous]

I saw this and thought about this thread.

https://www.yahoo.com/news/hazing-suit-bowling-green-ends-161552246.html

I was in a sorority in the 90s and both our chapter and the school required us to go to in-service workshops on hazing, but it still happened. Nothing horrible thank goodness, but it happened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He’s an adult (presumably) and can make his own choices. Land the helicopter.

This is not a helicopter situation. Their frontal lobes are still developing. We had a nephew end up in a coma. This is still a parenting moment.

OP - Definitely talk with him about the values of this fraternity and joining means he will have to subject others to these actions. I hope that makes an impact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd anonymously report to the college/university's student life office (not specifically to whomever supervises Greek life, they are often enablers.) I'd also try to get the info anonymously to any student newspaper - they might be more enterprising in trying to publicize any issues.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Contrary to many other posts, there's really no way anyone can advise you on a course of action without knowing what "pretty bad" means.

Agree, if the pledge is uncomfortable and in danger, report and drop. If the kid is just pissed for having to clean up the house after a party or drive a drunk brother home (the right thing to do) than a whole other story...technically "hazing" but part of the deal and if it bothers him than a fraternity probably is not for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a nervous wreck. Any advice? I’ve told him to walk away at any time, he’s a confident, social guy, doesn’t need to be in a fraternity. What I know so far is pretty bad.

Am American University student died last year during fraternity pledging. Really bad can mean death. Do something.

[Anonymous]

The drinking on campuses is so much worse than it was back in the day. Also, the craft beers these kids are drinking (when they aren't drinking hard alcohol) have a vastly higher alcohol content than the Milwaukee Best and Coors light people chugged back in the 80s/90s.

I really am pushing the schools known for little to no greek life and non-party atmosphere (or mild)---like the Hopkins and smaller liberal arts schools out there for my sons.

I have heard some horror stores from other parents lately.

Someone posted a recent doc on frat hazing which I can't find the link.

[Anonymous]

IT's bad nowadays:

https://www.usnews.com/news/us/articles/2022-06-16/5-former-fraternity-members-sentenced-in-hazing-death

https://www.pennlive.com/news/2022/10/penn-state-students-hazing-death-is-the-focus-of-upcoming-hulu-series.html

https://www.insideedition.com/these-parents-of-frat-hazing-victims-are-on-a-mission-to-prevent-deaths-by-sharing-their

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wonder what the parents of kids who died during hazing thought beforehand…that it wasn’t that bad? That their kid would be able to handle it?

There are frats that successfully initiate new members without putting them in danger. Report the ones that don’t. This has to stop.

This. I am still so sad about the kid that died at AU. Nice freshman had his whole life ahead of him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:IT's bad nowadays:

https://www.usnews.com/news/us/articles/2022-06-16/5-former-fraternity-members-sentenced-in-hazing-death

https://www.pennlive.com/news/2022/10/penn-state-students-hazing-death-is-the-focus-of-upcoming-hulu-series.html

https://www.insideedition.com/these-parents-of-frat-hazing-victims-are-on-a-mission-to-prevent-deaths-by-sharing-their

and more and more:

https://www.king5.com/article/news/investigations/sam-martinez-wsu-hazing-warning-new-school-year/281-b84c044c-3bdf-46a0-a1a1-2ef6d5459227

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2022/jun/23/us-colleges-university-hazing-fraternities-sororities

the kids don't call 911 and frats try to hide it to not face reprimands.

[Anonymous]

If he's being hazed now, that means next year and until graduation he will be doing the hazing. If a kid reports it next year instead of this year, he goes from victim to having a disciplinary action on his record

[Anonymous]

And VCU (not even a big school)

https://www.live5news.com/2022/03/02/no-jail-time-big-brother-fraternity-hazing-death/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He should report it and not join.

Call the school - presidents office.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a nervous wreck. Any advice? I’ve told him to walk away at any time, he’s a confident, social guy, doesn’t need to be in a fraternity. What I know so far is pretty bad.

hard to feel sorry for him. he is doing it to himself. his choice

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a nervous wreck. Any advice? I’ve told him to walk away at any time, he’s a confident, social guy, doesn’t need to be in a fraternity. What I know so far is pretty bad.

Am American University student died last year during fraternity pledging. Really bad can mean death. Do something.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_hazing_deaths_in_the_United_States
Hazing deaths happen every year. It's disgusting. I don't know why anyone would want to be part of the Greek system