Dinners have gone to hell - give me all the ideas

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You definitely need to feed the 1 yr old first. And ignore the person who said no snack. Of course little kids need a snack between a noon lunch and a 5:30 or 6 dinner.

Also, just accept you're in the thick of it now, and life won't be calm or quiet for several years.

+1. Everything will be better when your youngest in kindergarten. Until then, just do whatever you need to do to survive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Three kids and dinners by yourself most nights? Wow that is seriously impressive!

You would not be impressed if you saw how it actually went! In the mornings I generally feel pretty good about my parenting able to get a hot breakfast on the table and keep kids generally happy. In the evening, my head is on the table while three kids run circles around me with their pants on their heads and I regret ever having kids (I kid....but i'm also serious....)

Like looking in a mirror for me (-one kid)

[Anonymous]

OP - could you post your timeline? It's hard to offer suggestions if you're not telling us what time all of this is happening. It's possible that it's just too late for them all and you need to feed them much, much earlier and have your own dinner after they go to bed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - could you post your timeline? It's hard to offer suggestions if you're not telling us what time all of this is happening. It's possible that it's just too late for them all and you need to feed them much, much earlier and have your own dinner after they go to bed.

I've tried everything from dinner at 5 to dinner at 6. It's generally at 5:30 these days. So we get home around 5. Dinner is mainly made, but needs to be rewarmed etc. I'm unpacking things from the day. We aren't in any time crunch on when dinner needs to be as we don't head upstairs to start bedtime until 630.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Three kids and dinners by yourself most nights? Wow that is seriously impressive!

You would not be impressed if you saw how it actually went! In the mornings I generally feel pretty good about my parenting able to get a hot breakfast on the table and keep kids generally happy. In the evening, my head is on the table while three kids run circles around me with their pants on their heads and I regret ever having kids (I kid....but i'm also serious....)

Hot breakfast? You're a rock star!!

No real advice for you, as I'm more here for the advice myself ( I'm struggling with the same but only 2 kids). But I have started to feed myself while I prep dinner so at least I have more energy and am not hangry. My older child loves audiobooks, so maybe you could try that though it didn't work well for us because our younger is 2 and doesn't like audiobooks and makes too much noise for the older one to hear the story. The older one then leaves the table to go stick his head right next to the audio device and the younger one follows to go annoy his sibling more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Three kids and dinners by yourself most nights? Wow that is seriously impressive!

You would not be impressed if you saw how it actually went! In the mornings I generally feel pretty good about my parenting able to get a hot breakfast on the table and keep kids generally happy. In the evening, my head is on the table while three kids run circles around me with their pants on their heads and I regret ever having kids (I kid....but i'm also serious....)

I have been there. But my advice looking back wiht a 6 and 8 year old is to just make dinners RELAXED. And yes, maybe crazy. Just survive. You are in the THICK of the evening craziness, and you will be for the next few years. Once your older one has bit more self control left at the end of the day, you can start civilizing them one at a time. But for now, just get everyone fed.

Mix it up! Do standing dinners. Remove any expectation that they sit down. Drop the expectation that it be a perfect dinner. Just get them fed and get through the night. Prepping food in advance helps, so you have easy things to offer them so that they eat something besides frozen chicken nuggets (which is totally fine too).

But honestly, teaching table manners and dinner behavior is much easier when there are ZERO toddlers in the house. Of course your oldest you'll want to focus on a bit at some point, but honestly, drop your expectations and survive. Feed extra veggies at breakfast or lunch. A happier (even just a little) mom is more important at this stage.

[Anonymous]

Let the older two eat dinner in front of the TV. When DH used to deploy, I was really good for the first 2/3s. We sat at the table, used silverware etc. By the end of the 5th month, I was over it. We ate a lot of pancakes, tomato/mozzarella salad or other super easy things in front of the tv for dinner. The kids knew as soon as Dad came back we went back to the table. But I was in survival mode and just needed to make it another 30 days. My DH is retired now. My kids are teens and have fond memories of TV dinners.

[Anonymous]

Maybe use divided plate for the 3 & 5 yo and put well enough food for each of them ( so you don’t need to get up get more food), and play audio book/toddler music during dinner time.

[Anonymous]

I was going to say let the 3&5 yo eat in front of TV ( pbs kids) but thinking the baby would wanted to leave the dinning table too if 2 other siblings aren’t at the dinning table.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP your situation sounds like a nightmare and I don't know if it is just me, but all of the suggestions seem highly unlikely...turn OFF the TV? Have the five year old read a book to the younger kids? Don't give them snacks? Good lord, are the people on this page trying to push you over the edge?

Seriously. If anything, move the TV in front of the table. Or give them tablets so they can mindlessly eat and not fight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - could you post your timeline? It's hard to offer suggestions if you're not telling us what time all of this is happening. It's possible that it's just too late for them all and you need to feed them much, much earlier and have your own dinner after they go to bed.

I've tried everything from dinner at 5 to dinner at 6. It's generally at 5:30 these days. So we get home around 5. Dinner is mainly made, but needs to be rewarmed etc. I'm unpacking things from the day. We aren't in any time crunch on when dinner needs to be as we don't head upstairs to start bedtime until 630.

Let them watch something when you get some so you can unpack, get organized, get food warmed and plated. Don’t call them to the table until everything is ready and you are ready to sit. The key is you being at the table too, not up and down. If you can catch the bad behavior immediately it doesn’t spiral. Do NOT give them dinner in front of the TV. Horrible habit to start and really no reason. You can do this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Three kids and dinners by yourself most nights? Wow that is seriously impressive!

You would not be impressed if you saw how it actually went! In the mornings I generally feel pretty good about my parenting able to get a hot breakfast on the table and keep kids generally happy. In the evening, my head is on the table while three kids run circles around me with their pants on their heads and I regret ever having kids (I kid....but i'm also serious....)

Hot breakfast? You're a rock star!!

No real advice for you, as I'm more here for the advice myself ( I'm struggling with the same but only 2 kids). But I have started to feed myself while I prep dinner so at least I have more energy and am not hangry. My older child loves audiobooks, so maybe you could try that though it didn't work well for us because our younger is 2 and doesn't like audiobooks and makes too much noise for the older one to hear the story. The older one then leaves the table to go stick his head right next to the audio device and the younger one follows to go annoy his sibling more.

Exact same here - i thought i'd found the perfect solution, instead it ended in 5yo sobbing in frustration that he couldn't hear the story

[Anonymous]

Switch up the meals. Feed baby snack that will hold them over until older two are completely fed. Feed baby and have other two watch a show while you feed baby and clean up. If they misbehave or don’t eat, no show.

[Anonymous]

I have an only child so not qualified to give advice here. But I have to say....1-year-old was the WORST stage of eating dinner. They can't eat what you eat (without it being chopped up to death or mashed) and they're fussy and throw food and they want to be out of their high chair and they're too needy to let you cook...ugh. Hated it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You definitely need to feed the 1 yr old first. And ignore the person who said no snack. Of course little kids need a snack between a noon lunch and a 5:30 or 6 dinner.

Also, just accept you're in the thick of it now, and life won't be calm or quiet for several years.

+1. Everything will be better when your youngest in kindergarten. Until then, just do whatever you need to do to survive.

It will be better before that, even! You don't have four years of awful dinners ahead of you.