Dinners have gone to hell - give me all the ideas

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP your situation sounds like a nightmare and I don't know if it is just me, but all of the suggestions seem highly unlikely...turn OFF the TV? Have the five year old read a book to the younger kids? Don't give them snacks? Good lord, are the people on this page trying to push you over the edge?

I am sorry, I did not offer anything helpful. I would re-org the kitchen and have everything they need either at the table, or even better, accessible to them, Montessori style. They can get their own cups, plates, forks, etc. Have them set the table and if they want something, empower them to go and get it. Do the "eat a vegetable together" game - and say "who wants to eat a carrot with me"...etc to get some veggies in them. Don't force everyone to sit and wait until everyone is done - that is a weird rule and they are too young for it. If they have eaten enough to satisfy you, let them go. It's annoying when they come back hungry later, so just leave their plates out and tell them they can finish their plates and also have a banana if they get hungry later.

[Anonymous]

Start making the snack "part of dinner". That way you are not worried about what they eat at dinner.

It's hard. Those ages are just HARD. The kids are tired after the day, so are you, everyone is hungry. My kids are a bit older and dinner can still be annoying and tiring, but it's SO MUCH BETTER than when they were under the age of 6.

[Anonymous]

My “big” kids are slightly older (newborn, 3, 5, 7), but we actually got better behavior at meals when we started forcing them to put napkins on their laps each night. I don’t know what it was, but somehow enforcing that rule of civility got more compliance all-around?

Also wanted to echo that these ages are hard and you’ll be in easier territory so soon. Plus, you’re doing it solo - in my opinion, it sounds like you are rocking it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My “big” kids are slightly older (newborn, 3, 5, 7), but we actually got better behavior at meals when we started forcing them to put napkins on their laps each night. I don’t know what it was, but somehow enforcing that rule of civility got more compliance all-around?

Also wanted to echo that these ages are hard and you’ll be in easier territory so soon. Plus, you’re doing it solo - in my opinion, it sounds like you are rocking it

One more thing - my kids eat better/more veggies when we let them self-serve family-style. I typically plate anything super-hot or the proteins and then allow them to get their own veggies. Sometimes, it does lead to some mess/wasted food, but it makes the act of getting food to the table easier and also makes the kids more likely to eat healthy stuff.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you are doing ok prepping dinner and getting it on the table. Issue seems to be getting everyone to sit and eat it.

Like the PP above, we let my 3 yr old play with some little toys at the table. They keep her happy and at the table, and then she actually does eat. We have an alexa in our kitchen and kids can take turns telling it what songs to play or silly things to say, etc. We play games like I spy. And some nights we offer a small sweet treat for good table behavior and (and if ate a good dinner).

Also, obviously please ignore the poster who said to eliminate the snack.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My “big” kids are slightly older (newborn, 3, 5, 7), but we actually got better behavior at meals when we started forcing them to put napkins on their laps each night. I don’t know what it was, but somehow enforcing that rule of civility got more compliance all-around?

Also wanted to echo that these ages are hard and you’ll be in easier territory so soon. Plus, you’re doing it solo - in my opinion, it sounds like you are rocking it

[b]One more thing - my kids eat better/more veggies when we let them self-serve family-style. I typically plate anything super-hot or the proteins and then allow them to get their own veggies. Sometimes, it does lead to some mess/wasted food, but it makes the act of getting food to the table easier and also makes the kids more likely to eat healthy stuff.[b]

Simple but good suggestion! My toddler weirdly loves trying to serve herself. Messy, but makes her happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP your situation sounds like a nightmare and I don't know if it is just me, but all of the suggestions seem highly unlikely...turn OFF the TV? Have the five year old read a book to the younger kids? Don't give them snacks? Good lord, are the people on this page trying to push you over the edge?

We have four kids and tv is rarely on. Like, the kids watch less than weekly.

[Anonymous]

I agree that you are just at a rough point age-wise and mobility-wise right now. It WILL get better.

I've liked a few of these suggestions, mostly:

a.) Get the big kid helping a bit
b.) Veggies out early as a snack
c.) I'd switch TV to a reward, not the default pre-dinner activity.

[Anonymous]

Don’t have three kids two years apart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree that you are just at a rough point age-wise and mobility-wise right now. It WILL get better.

I've liked a few of these suggestions, mostly:

a.) Get the big kid helping a bit
b.) Veggies out early as a snack
c.) I'd switch TV to a reward, not the default pre-dinner activity.

Agree with PPs that this is just a tough age and it will be very difficult to manage until they are a little older. I like the idea of holding TV back as reward for after they've eaten without being disruptive and taken their dishes to the sink/dishwasher. This is just me, but if they need reminders during the meal I usually will say something like "it sounds like you are no longer interested in [watching a show - whatever the reward is] after dinner - is that right?" and count to 3 or 5 to give them time to get back in line. Seating the 3 and 5 year olds apart might help too. And/or seeing if the 5 year old can help feed the baby or at least do some of the up-and-down? Also, I definitely don't eat at the same time as the kids on weekdays if I'm by myself. I sit with them, but eat my actual dinner later.

[Anonymous]

Eat earlier.

[Anonymous]

It doesn't sound like food is the actual issue so maybe this won't help. But when my sisters kids were that age she did no cook dinners. So they ate stuff like sandwiches, veggies and dip, cheese, fruit, stuff she didn't spend any time cooking. It cut way down on the prep and timing issues. Then later that night she would cook a hello fresh type meal for thr parents.

[Anonymous]

Three kids and dinners by yourself most nights? Wow that is seriously impressive!

[Anonymous]

Mine are 2/5/7 (all just recently turned these ages) and it's gotten better recently. Still problems, but better.

One thing I do is feed myself first. I went for about a year without eating dinner due to their nonsense. Now I eat alone for 10 mins then plate their food/try to anticipate their needs.

We don't do screentime M-Fri. I experimented with this and it has forced them to figure out how to play together for those 60 mins between getting home from school until dinner. Less tantrums/stress. But I freely admit it was trial and error and this is what worked for us.

Husband is useless, please don't even ask.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Three kids and dinners by yourself most nights? Wow that is seriously impressive!

You would not be impressed if you saw how it actually went! In the mornings I generally feel pretty good about my parenting able to get a hot breakfast on the table and keep kids generally happy. In the evening, my head is on the table while three kids run circles around me with their pants on their heads and I regret ever having kids (I kid....but i'm also serious....)