Mom's "diet" for gout

[Anonymous]

This is a vent too.

My MIL is finally happy with her weight, after losing ~15 lbs. she spent decades on every kind of diet nutritional trend and not losing weight. I’m pleased as she’s also exercising more and is pretty active, which is great.

FIL has always followed along and eats and exercises per her structure.

They do IF and no longer eat between 6pm and noon the next day. It makes meal planning tricky when we visit them or they us.

For visits we just agreed we need to eat differently. She insists that is fine. So, in the morning, my kids make and eat breakfast (toast or cereal or eggs). FIL, who is counting the seconds until it’s time to eat, gets cranky and MIL’s sipping coffee or tea and her stomach is rumbling. If he gets vocal, MIL will acquiesce and say FIL just go ahead and eat. This drives my husband up a wall.

Then for meals MIL prepares, everyone gets an exact and proper serving. MIL’s about 5 feet on a good day, and everyone else is 5’’10” - 6’4” all eating 1 cup of soup, 2 slices of turkey with one slice of wheat bread. The kids ask for seconds. And, we just always plan form extra snacks and get food out when she cooks

My older teens perceive it as disordered eating and controlling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But that’s not what you described. You said she was eating black bean soup with a little sour cream on it. Not enough sour cream for your liking, LOL.
As far as your BMI being no one’s business, you get that this is an anonymous board, right? You’ve made your mom’s height and weight our business….but yours is off limits…on an anonymous board…?

It's not about how much of any one food. It was an example. Thinking a teaspoon--one teaspoon!-- of sour cream is important enough to report to others, is disordered.

[Anonymous]

You sound annoying. She’s not “reporting” her teaspoon of sour cream “to others.” She’s having a boring conversation with you, her boring daughter. “Oh I had some black bean soup for lunch today, I put just a teaspoon of sour cream on it and it was so good.” Maybe she’s trying to set an example for you because you drown your black bean soup under an ice cream scoop of sour cream and a pound of tortilla chips.

The OP of this thread had a legit point about her mom’s weird diet. You are trying to pile on, and again I say, you sound like an overweight daughter who is jealous of her normal weight mother, and any time your mom says anything about food, you’re like “Oh there she goes again! Eating disorder!”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound annoying. She’s not “reporting” her teaspoon of sour cream “to others.” She’s having a boring conversation with you, her boring daughter. “Oh I had some black bean soup for lunch today, I put just a teaspoon of sour cream on it and it was so good.” Maybe she’s trying to set an example for you because you drown your black bean soup under an ice cream scoop of sour cream and a pound of tortilla chips.

The OP of this thread had a legit point about her mom’s weird diet. You are trying to pile on, and again I say, you sound like an overweight daughter who is jealous of her normal weight mother, and any time your mom says anything about food, you’re like “Oh there she goes again! Eating disorder!”

Wow, you're so mean. It's more like "I had a teaspoon of sour cream, even though I don't want to get fat, but then I didn't let myself finish it because it's so fattening. You know, I can still fit into the dress I wore to your college graduation."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound annoying. She’s not “reporting” her teaspoon of sour cream “to others.” She’s having a boring conversation with you, her boring daughter. “Oh I had some black bean soup for lunch today, I put just a teaspoon of sour cream on it and it was so good.” Maybe she’s trying to set an example for you because you drown your black bean soup under an ice cream scoop of sour cream and a pound of tortilla chips.

The OP of this thread had a legit point about her mom’s weird diet. You are trying to pile on, and again I say, you sound like an overweight daughter who is jealous of her normal weight mother, and any time your mom says anything about food, you’re like “Oh there she goes again! Eating disorder!”

Whoa, how triggered can you get?

NP

[Anonymous]

Ha, well yes, I am “triggered” (LOL) through my own personal experience, already described upthread, of commentary of my “friends” on my eating habits, when I made changes, quietly, and it resulted in weight loss for me. All this scrutiny about what I was eating or wasn’t eating - they were the ones obsessed, not me. I changed the topic all the time.

While most here have made completely legit points about some apparently unhealthy and disordered eating habits, my point is that not everyone who doesn’t eat as much as you do has an eating disorder, even if they make a ton of boring small talk about food (eating it, not eating it, how much they are eating). When there’s a mother-daughter relationship in the middle of it, things can get complicated.

On this thread we have a person who describes her normal weight BMI mother as obsessed with food and her weight, but she really doesn’t give any examples of specific craziness other than curtailed sour cream use, LOL. Maybe she has an eating disorder, but another possibility that I would offer for your consideration, is that maybe she doesn’t, and the problem is on the daughter’s side. I asked, not meanly, if the daughter is overweight and then I got a lot of deflection (her weight is “appropriate” whatever that means).

Just something to consider. Don’t be “triggered” by it, ha!.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ha, well yes, I am “triggered” (LOL) through my own personal experience, already described upthread, of commentary of my “friends” on my eating habits, when I made changes, quietly, and it resulted in weight loss for me. All this scrutiny about what I was eating or wasn’t eating - they were the ones obsessed, not me. I changed the topic all the time.

While most here have made completely legit points about some apparently unhealthy and disordered eating habits, my point is that not everyone who doesn’t eat as much as you do has an eating disorder, even if they make a ton of boring small talk about food (eating it, not eating it, how much they are eating). When there’s a mother-daughter relationship in the middle of it, things can get complicated.

On this thread we have a person who describes her normal weight BMI mother as obsessed with food and her weight, but she really doesn’t give any examples of specific craziness other than curtailed sour cream use, LOL. Maybe she has an eating disorder, but another possibility that I would offer for your consideration, is that maybe she doesn’t, and the problem is on the daughter’s side. I asked, not meanly, if the daughter is overweight and then I got a lot of deflection (her weight is “appropriate” whatever that means).

Just something to consider. Don’t be “triggered” by it, ha!.

I think both things can be true: your friends are jealous annoying about your weight loss, and many people's boomer and older moms are disordered eaters and obsessed with dieting. Since I guess you are saying that only low BMI opinions are qualified to opine on this topic: I have an underweight BMI and have all my life and I'm the one with the disordered-eating MIL. In fact, she was just here this morning clucking about my breakfast. Clearly, food and eating are sensitive topics for women because we are always judged by our appearance (and weight in particular), and it manifests in so, so many ways.

[Anonymous]

Give her mega doses of Bilberry. About 1000 mcg per day.