Mom's "diet" for gout

[Anonymous]

Most families have a disorder way of thinking about food/diet/exercise.

I just point out to my kids how past generations had little information and because of tfat grandma thinks xxxx (fill in the blank)

You can’t shield your kids from disordered eating talk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, happy to answer your question: so far, I have basically ignored my MIL's disordered "clean" eating. She has a restrictive diet that she says is necessary for various medical conditions (gluten intolerance, acid reflux, something something about nightshades, etc.), but it tends to just hew to a carb, sugar, dairy and gluten free diet with a lot of fad supplements. She constantly talks about how she can't keep weight on, but won't touch a carb, fatty meat, or dessert. She will completely skip meals if her preferred food is not available or is not what is being served. She also regularly remarks about what others are eating or not eating. Cooks unhealthy food when hosting and then eats something separately herself. Will make dramatic declarations that aren't entirely true ("I would never serve my kids X" etc.). I just try to model balanced eating and being a flexible eater and a good guest, and don't play into her games about talking about weight and so forth.

I have an acquaintance just like this! Every last bit, down to the eating something separate to what they prepare guests, it's uncanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is informative. I had an obese relative with gout, but I did not know that people who aren’t overweight could suffer from gout.

OP, I’d make a regular dinner for your whole family, but add to it whatever items your mom can/will eat. Your kids don’t need to mimic grandma’s diet. You can’t fix grandma’s eating habits. Let grandma know that she is not to discuss diets or anyone’s weight/appearance with or in front of your children. If your kids ask why grandma gets to eat all carbs or lots of sugar, tell that them grandma isn’t feeling well and can’t tolerate normal food right now.

I say "Different foods for different ages. Our bodies need different things as we grow."

[Anonymous]

Very interesting! My Dad had gout, I remember his reddish, swollen ankles. His diet was very carnivorous and he was a hunter so I know he ate a lot of duck and deer. I eat much less meat than he does, but now I realize that I need to be watching for symptoms since it's hereditary.

[Anonymous]

My father had gout despite minimal risk factors, it turned out that it was caused by a med he was taking.

Re: weird diet stuff. I don't think you can change them although I think it's fine to say "I don't want to hear about this topic." My mom loves to brag about her weight and her weird eating habits and she's been doing it since she was swigging tab and using one of those machines with the belt that was supposed to shake your fat off.

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand. Some people do have to eat differently to
Lose weight when they are overweight. Is this what you all are calling “diet culture “ ? This seems very odd to me that people might not understand others might have to lose weight?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand. Some people do have to eat differently to
Lose weight when they are overweight. Is this what you all are calling “diet culture “ ? This seems very odd to me that people might not understand others might have to lose weight?

No, it's people who spend way too much time thinking and talking about what they eat and whether they are overweight. My mom, for example, is of a very healthy weight (5'2" and 120 lbs I estimate), yet every time I talk on the phone with her, she says she doesn't want to get fat, rehashes what she ate today (a teaspoon of sour cream with her black bean soup, what an indulgence!), tells me who among her friends is getting fat, mentions that she can still fit into all her clothes from years ago, etc. etc. etc. That's diet culture. I wonder what her life might have been like if she had devoted that much time and energy to something more worthwhile for the past 60 years. She's not fat. At all. She's just obsessed with the topic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, happy to answer your question: so far, I have basically ignored my MIL's disordered "clean" eating. She has a restrictive diet that she says is necessary for various medical conditions (gluten intolerance, acid reflux, something something about nightshades, etc.), but it tends to just hew to a carb, sugar, dairy and gluten free diet with a lot of fad supplements. She constantly talks about how she can't keep weight on, but won't touch a carb, fatty meat, or dessert. She will completely skip meals if her preferred food is not available or is not what is being served. She also regularly remarks about what others are eating or not eating. Cooks unhealthy food when hosting and then eats something separately herself. Will make dramatic declarations that aren't entirely true ("I would never serve my kids X" etc.). I just try to model balanced eating and being a flexible eater and a good guest, and don't play into her games about talking about weight and so forth.

My mom makes such radical statements about food too. My favorite from this last holiday were when DS and I were sitting having some cereal for breakfast (it was some sort of bran thing) and she took out the box, looked at the nutritional information, and goes "this is basically the same as having a hot fudge sundae for breakfast!" I just looked at her. She, and most of the women of her generation I know, have a very skewed understanding of nutrition. And it seems really performative, like eating different foods at gatherings, at restaurants always declaring after she order that she will only eat half so she can bring the rest home for tomorrow's dinner, and checking nutrition info on everything even if she's not eating it. I deal with it by just not engaging bc I know I won't change her attitude, language, or behavior around food. DS is only 5 but when he's older if necessary I will talk to him about just ignoring his grandmother's food commentary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, happy to answer your question: so far, I have basically ignored my MIL's disordered "clean" eating. She has a restrictive diet that she says is necessary for various medical conditions (gluten intolerance, acid reflux, something something about nightshades, etc.), but it tends to just hew to a carb, sugar, dairy and gluten free diet with a lot of fad supplements. She constantly talks about how she can't keep weight on, but won't touch a carb, fatty meat, or dessert. She will completely skip meals if her preferred food is not available or is not what is being served. She also regularly remarks about what others are eating or not eating. Cooks unhealthy food when hosting and then eats something separately herself. Will make dramatic declarations that aren't entirely true ("I would never serve my kids X" etc.). I just try to model balanced eating and being a flexible eater and a good guest, and don't play into her games about talking about weight and so forth.

My mom makes such radical statements about food too. My favorite from this last holiday were when DS and I were sitting having some cereal for breakfast (it was some sort of bran thing) and she took out the box, looked at the nutritional information, and goes "this is basically the same as having a hot fudge sundae for breakfast!" I just looked at her. She, and most of the women of her generation I know, have a very skewed understanding of nutrition. And it seems really performative, like eating different foods at gatherings, at restaurants always declaring after she order that she will only eat half so she can bring the rest home for tomorrow's dinner, and checking nutrition info on everything even if she's not eating it. I deal with it by just not engaging bc I know I won't change her attitude, language, or behavior around food. DS is only 5 but when he's older if necessary I will talk to him about just ignoring his grandmother's food commentary.

Yes! And the 80s nutritional science-- the fat free everything, the cottage cheese!

When my DD entered puberty on the early side and developed more adipose tissue (still a healthy weight but has cute A cups and a little tush), I had to really draw some lines with my mom. She was just terribly uncomfortable with DD's body, and I felt like I had to protect my daughter's confidence and self-image and not burden her with what is basically my mom's eating disorder. It's so common in that generation that she doesn't see it as a problem, but it is.

[Anonymous]

OP I am your moms size I have gout.

My dad always had gout. While he was always heavy he never had high blood pressure or high cholesterol etc. Healthy as a horse as they say but over 300 pounds. He passed a few years ago just from old age in 90's.

As for the diet, issues keep her away from your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand. Some people do have to eat differently to
Lose weight when they are overweight. Is this what you all are calling “diet culture “ ? This seems very odd to me that people might not understand others might have to lose weight?

No, it's people who spend way too much time thinking and talking about what they eat and whether they are overweight. My mom, for example, is of a very healthy weight (5'2" and 120 lbs I estimate), yet every time I talk on the phone with her, she says she doesn't want to get fat, rehashes what she ate today (a teaspoon of sour cream with her black bean soup, what an indulgence!), tells me who among her friends is getting fat, mentions that she can still fit into all her clothes from years ago, etc. etc. etc. That's diet culture. I wonder what her life might have been like if she had devoted that much time and energy to something more worthwhile for the past 60 years. She's not fat. At all. She's just obsessed with the topic.

I don’t mean to be rude, but what is your height, weight, BMI? I think a lot of women who could stand to shed a few pounds are hyper-sensitive on this topic and like to point at thinner women like they have an eating disorder, when what they really have is discipline to not start on the downhill slide to fatness. I lost some weight a few years ago and it required a lot of discipline. My “friends” would make little jabs, insinuating that I had an eating disorder. I was just minding my own business, eating more healthily, and it’s like it drove them insane to watch the pounds come off. I refrained from saying that maybe their eating was disordered, considering that they couldn’t seem to stop.

Your mom’s height and weight puts her squarely in the middle of the range for a normal BMI. That’s something she has prioritized in her life. Good for her. Maybe you talk about things that bore her, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand. Some people do have to eat differently to
Lose weight when they are overweight. Is this what you all are calling “diet culture “ ? This seems very odd to me that people might not understand others might have to lose weight?

No, it's people who spend way too much time thinking and talking about what they eat and whether they are overweight. My mom, for example, is of a very healthy weight (5'2" and 120 lbs I estimate), yet every time I talk on the phone with her, she says she doesn't want to get fat, rehashes what she ate today (a teaspoon of sour cream with her black bean soup, what an indulgence!), tells me who among her friends is getting fat, mentions that she can still fit into all her clothes from years ago, etc. etc. etc. That's diet culture. I wonder what her life might have been like if she had devoted that much time and energy to something more worthwhile for the past 60 years. She's not fat. At all. She's just obsessed with the topic.

I don’t mean to be rude, but what is your height, weight, BMI? I think a lot of women who could stand to shed a few pounds are hyper-sensitive on this topic and like to point at thinner women like they have an eating disorder, when what they really have is discipline to not start on the downhill slide to fatness. I lost some weight a few years ago and it required a lot of discipline. My “friends” would make little jabs, insinuating that I had an eating disorder. I was just minding my own business, eating more healthily, and it’s like it drove them insane to watch the pounds come off. I refrained from saying that maybe their eating was disordered, considering that they couldn’t seem to stop.

Your mom’s height and weight puts her squarely in the middle of the range for a normal BMI. That’s something she has prioritized in her life. Good for her. Maybe you talk about things that bore her, too.

Yes, everyone knows you’re thin. You don’t need to blather on about it constantly and neither do any of the psychologically disordered mothers (plural) referenced on this thread.

-normal BMI runner

[Anonymous]

My point is that I *don’t* blather on about it. At all.
I guess we all know that you’re rude. Congrats!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand. Some people do have to eat differently to
Lose weight when they are overweight. Is this what you all are calling “diet culture “ ? This seems very odd to me that people might not understand others might have to lose weight?

No, it's people who spend way too much time thinking and talking about what they eat and whether they are overweight. My mom, for example, is of a very healthy weight (5'2" and 120 lbs I estimate), yet every time I talk on the phone with her, she says she doesn't want to get fat, rehashes what she ate today (a teaspoon of sour cream with her black bean soup, what an indulgence!), tells me who among her friends is getting fat, mentions that she can still fit into all her clothes from years ago, etc. etc. etc. That's diet culture. I wonder what her life might have been like if she had devoted that much time and energy to something more worthwhile for the past 60 years. She's not fat. At all. She's just obsessed with the topic.

I don’t mean to be rude, but what is your height, weight, BMI? I think a lot of women who could stand to shed a few pounds are hyper-sensitive on this topic and like to point at thinner women like they have an eating disorder, when what they really have is discipline to not start on the downhill slide to fatness. I lost some weight a few years ago and it required a lot of discipline. My “friends” would make little jabs, insinuating that I had an eating disorder. I was just minding my own business, eating more healthily, and it’s like it drove them insane to watch the pounds come off. I refrained from saying that maybe their eating was disordered, considering that they couldn’t seem to stop.

Your mom’s height and weight puts her squarely in the middle of the range for a normal BMI. That’s something she has prioritized in her life. Good for her. Maybe you talk about things that bore her, too.

Mine are entirely normal and appropriate, not that it's your business. but I consider it extremely tasteless and rude to discuss who in our social circle has gained weight,or boring details of one's food intake.

As for my mom as she ages and loses muscle mass, I firmly believe she would be healthier and better off if she did not restrict her calories to the point of poor nutrition. The out of date nutritional ideas mean that she doesn't take in much healthy fats and iron so she's borderline anemic, and way too much sugar without protein to balance it (think fat-free Snackwells). She would be better off with an extra 100 calories a day and more macronutrients. She's thin, but she isn't healthy. But in her mind, thin is the priority.

[Anonymous]

But that’s not what you described. You said she was eating black bean soup with a little sour cream on it. Not enough sour cream for your liking, LOL.
As far as your BMI being no one’s business, you get that this is an anonymous board, right? You’ve made your mom’s height and weight our business….but yours is off limits…on an anonymous board…?