Toddler travel/vacations and perpetual exhaustion

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here's my take, as a person with a 3 and 6 year old who has traveled quite a bit with them, including with a lot of other families, so I'm pretty confident my experiences are fairly widely shared:

When you're there, it sucks. You have your moments, and they're wonderful, but mostly you are exhausted and wish you were home and wonder why you ever did this trip. See: OP

After it's over, you remember the best parts. The exhaustion fades. You don't remember that you were ever tired, or at the end of your rope, or your kids had a meltdown. You think "wow, we had a great trip to (skiing / Europe / Beach) and I can't imagine NOT going a trip with my young kids." You look at the photos and you tell the stories and you think, see, that wasn't bad at all. And you plan your next trip. See: every smug PP in this thread posting that it's totally possible.

I am all of you. Trips with toddlers - especially 2-kid trips - are hell. But we remember them fondly and we think highly of ourselves for doing them.

Don't worry OP, in a month this will all be a fond memory

I think you’re probably right. I remember (intellectually) how awful our trip to the grandparents this summer was but my emotional memory is all soft and fuzzy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think a ski trip with two young kids, one of whom is a toddler who can’t ski, is insanely ambitious and was never going to be a relaxing vacation, sorry.

The key to a relaxing vacation with young kids is: childcare. Nanny, grandparent, resort kids club, hiring a sitter for stretches.

Also, you have to plan vacations that feature things that will be fun for them and tire them out. That means spending time at playgrounds, in children’s museums, at the pool, etc. Not the whole time, but you buy their participation in other stuff, like relaxing on the beach, behaving at a nice restaurant, going to a show, with physical, child-centric activities.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here's my take, as a person with a 3 and 6 year old who has traveled quite a bit with them, including with a lot of other families, so I'm pretty confident my experiences are fairly widely shared:

When you're there, it sucks. You have your moments, and they're wonderful, but mostly you are exhausted and wish you were home and wonder why you ever did this trip. See: OP

After it's over, you remember the best parts. The exhaustion fades. You don't remember that you were ever tired, or at the end of your rope, or your kids had a meltdown. You think "wow, we had a great trip to (skiing / Europe / Beach) and I can't imagine NOT going a trip with my young kids." You look at the photos and you tell the stories and you think, see, that wasn't bad at all. And you plan your next trip. See: every smug PP in this thread posting that it's totally possible.

I am all of you. Trips with toddlers - especially 2-kid trips - are hell. But we remember them fondly and we think highly of ourselves for doing them.

Don't worry OP, in a month this will all be a fond memory

I agree with all of this. Traveling with my 2 under 4 is tough but we always leave a trip with great family memories that really sustain me. May not be the case who have particularly difficult kids/sleepers, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here's my take, as a person with a 3 and 6 year old who has traveled quite a bit with them, including with a lot of other families, so I'm pretty confident my experiences are fairly widely shared:

When you're there, it sucks. You have your moments, and they're wonderful, but mostly you are exhausted and wish you were home and wonder why you ever did this trip. See: OP

After it's over, you remember the best parts. The exhaustion fades. You don't remember that you were ever tired, or at the end of your rope, or your kids had a meltdown. You think "wow, we had a great trip to (skiing / Europe / Beach) and I can't imagine NOT going a trip with my young kids." You look at the photos and you tell the stories and you think, see, that wasn't bad at all. And you plan your next trip. See: every smug PP in this thread posting that it's totally possible.

I am all of you. Trips with toddlers - especially 2-kid trips - are hell. But we remember them fondly and we think highly of ourselves for doing them.

Don't worry OP, in a month this will all be a fond memory

This is a solid take. My kids love going places, so even when it is hard on us their enjoyment makes it worthwhile, and with every trip it gets a bit essier. We've turned a corner a bit, my youngest just turned 4. When we went camping this fall both kids actually slept! In the tent! Yeah! She still has a tendency to have meltdowns when overtired/overstimulated though, and DH is taking our older one skiing by himself again this year. I'm not a big skier myself though so don't feel like I'm missing out. Vacations this summer will be a beach location and few days in a cabin/mountain/lake location. Probably the year after that we will become a bit more adventurous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are missing that sane people don’t go on vacations with toddlers because there is no such thing as a vacation with a toddler. It’s parenting in a different place without all the supports that make life manageable with a toddler and is by definition exhausting.

YES. My supports are the only thing that's keeping me together. When they start to fall apart, life goes to hell. Even simple things like not having a rocking chair or a bathtub at my inlaws and I have to hear my kids whine about showering nonstop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Currently on a ski trip with toddler who is too young to ski. For the past few days, I’ve been either watching her or skiing 100% of the time (taking turns with partner, and we have an older kid too). By the time I put toddler down I’m physically collapsing. Skiing is my favorite thing in the world, but I’m wondering if I just need to wait until she’s ready for ski school and try a different kind of vacation?

Then again, is there any vacation that’s not exhausting with a toddler? With our first it was much easier to tag team, but now we’re both more exhausted, she doesn’t nap, my partner is annoyed that I don’t want to stay up and watch a movie because I’m just so tired. He says maybe we should just stop traveling for a couple of years. I love to travel, and with one kid we did skiing, Europe trips, national parks, beach etc with no trouble. I’m reluctant to give up vacations but maybe he’s right.

I’ve had such an intense year at work and my team is counting on me to come back relaxed and ready to work, which is literally the opposite of what’s happening right now.

How does everyone do it? I see so many families traveling with toddlers all over the world and not looking half-dead like we are. What am I missing?

I would scale things back for a couple of years but there is a lot of gray area between ski trips/national parks/Europe and nothing. As you know now it is harder to do these things with two young kids than it was with one. Rent a cabin or beach house at closer locations, and splurge for a bigger place with an extra room if the kids struggle to bunk together right now. Trade off taking your older child skiing at closer locations like Caanan Valley or PA (I know, I know, not as good, but are you having fun doing what you're doing right now?). This too shall pass.

[Anonymous]

Bring a nanny or line up a local sitter. Deer Valley has an awesome program for toddlers that includes a private lesson then day care in a nice facility. Snowbird and Alta have nice child care, too. I am not as familiar with Colorado resorts.
When we go to beach destinations, we only go to resorts with great kids clubs. My kids love Club Med in Cancun, and as a result, so do we!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lol I have young kids, oldest a toddler, and this is insane to me. What exactly were your expectations?

Yep, this. Mom of a 2 and 6 year old. Newsflash: vacations with kids aren’t vacations AT ALL! Thinking you were going to be well rested was your first mistake.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Well, we just got home from our trip, and already the tough moments are fading away and I’m mostly remembering the fun parts, like teaching my youngest to ski, watching my oldest outski me for the first year, some amazing food, solo ski time, etc.

My kids did both sleep all night every night, which I think made the trip ultimately manageable. I got less tired as the days went on, though of course it still wasn’t a relaxing trip.

I did learn my lesson about arranging childcare for future trips, it was silly of me to discount how important that is.