Toddler travel/vacations and perpetual exhaustion

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are missing that sane people don’t go on vacations with toddlers because there is no such thing as a vacation with a toddler. It’s parenting in a different place without all the supports that make life manageable with a toddler and is by definition exhausting.

I always push back on this. There are ways to make it better (but they do cost money, and they require forethought and setting yourself up for success by raising your child to be adaptable/flexible/a good sleeper). Agree the ideal is to bring a grandparent or sitter with you. But definitely look into on-resort childcare, OP. If there's a local university there may be nursing students or student teachers you can hire as a sitter that is a little more trusted than the average joe off the street. But honestly OP, I've hired "rando" nannies in different towns and they've always been good, just more expensive than at home. Look at nanny agencies if you are a little bit cautious. Those nannies will have been pre-vetted

[Anonymous]

Vacations with kids are not really vacations, which is why I think about them as opportunities to make memories.

Toddlers are exhausting wherever you go! Maybe schedule more downtime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are missing that sane people don’t go on vacations with toddlers because there is no such thing as a vacation with a toddler. It’s parenting in a different place without all the supports that make life manageable with a toddler and is by definition exhausting.

It is actually possible. We’ve done it, and without childcare. But only with one kid (much harder to meet the needs of an older kid and a toddler) and you structure the entire trip around what is going to get the best out if your kid. A ski trip with a 2/3 year old who doesn’t do well with strangers? Hard no.

For a child like that, you pick a location that has something relaxing in it for you — good weather, beach/pool, resort with spa, beautiful sights — get a house or suite with separate bedrooms and a view or gorgeous patio or cozy fire or something. Then you structure mornings around the destination draw (beach with toys, sightseeing in stroller, etc.), afternoons are for your kid (nap, playground, toy store, etc.), and evenings you out the kid to bed as soon as feasible, order takeout/room service, open a bottle of wine, and relax by the pool, overlooking the beach, by the fire, etc.

Vacations with a toddler are kind of like exotic staycations. You have to structure the day around your kids needs, but you can still enjoy your location a bit and take a break from the grind of work, cooking and cleaning, etc. See something new or enjoy your favorite destination.

But you need to be very realistic about what your kid can do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are missing that sane people don’t go on vacations with toddlers because there is no such thing as a vacation with a toddler. It’s parenting in a different place without all the supports that make life manageable with a toddler and is by definition exhausting.

This ☝🏼☝🏼☝🏼

Yep. Our last trip was when our youngest was 9 months, just before he started to crawl. He just turned 5 and we’re taking our first vacation since then over Spring Break. No naps, diapers, stroller, diaper bag, ahh…FREEDOM!

Many, many families travel with young kids and enjoy it. Maybe you haven’t met them if you’ve been stuck at home. If it’s not for you, that’s fine, but writing off all families who don’t make the same exact choices as insane is BS. Maybe a ski vacation with no childcare is too much, but don’t generalize to all travel with toddlers.

[Anonymous]

If you can afford to take a ski vacation, you can afford to figure out childcare. Taking a vacation without any childcare is madness. If you’re going to do that, you have to way scale back your ambitions and build in more down time. Which is also fine. You’ll feel like you’re missing out, which you are, which is okay.

[Anonymous]

You must have had an exceptionally easy going oldest child. I would think of it as nearly everyone struggles with travel with young kids and you got some bonus years with your oldest that very few people get.

We don’t have childcare or a nanny that can travel with us and one kid with SN that makes me hesitant to trust new people so we just do low key but still exhausting trips primarily to see family. My youngest is about to turn 5 and things are much easier now.

[Anonymous]

Our vacations with young kids look like: short distance mini road trip to camping/cabin/beach, two nights max, lots of outside time. We prefer to explore local areas rather than bigger vacations, because traveling is a lot of money for what can potentially be a lot of headache and meltdowns from a change in routine.

We are a one income family and don’t have a nanny or childcare on trips, so money plays a big role in where/when we travel. Very short trips with very few structured activities end up being fun for me most of the time. Now that the kids are 3.5 and 5, traveling is getting much more exciting and we’re finally planning our first big vacation for next summer. Big vacations with a toddler just don’t sound fun to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are missing that sane people don’t go on vacations with toddlers because there is no such thing as a vacation with a toddler. It’s parenting in a different place without all the supports that make life manageable with a toddler and is by definition exhausting.

This ☝🏼☝🏼☝🏼

Yep. Our last trip was when our youngest was 9 months, just before he started to crawl. He just turned 5 and we’re taking our first vacation since then over Spring Break. No naps, diapers, stroller, diaper bag, ahh…FREEDOM!

Many, many families travel with young kids and enjoy it. Maybe you haven’t met them if you’ve been stuck at home. If it’s not for you, that’s fine, but writing off all families who don’t make the same exact choices as insane is BS. Maybe a ski vacation with no childcare is too much, but don’t generalize to all travel with toddlers.

Oh, I haven’t been stuck at home. Plenty to do with kids here—pool, sports, etc. I stay home so I’m used to being with my kids and entertaining them. I draw the line at travel with toddlers.

[Anonymous]

Our kids are 2 and 4 and we bring a grandparent with us

[Anonymous]

So this is more about you being exhausted at the end of the day - that's normal. Skiing is tiring and even if you're going for half the time bc you're watch a toddler, it's still tiring.

Are you looking for ideas to keep your toddler entertained?
If so, let us know. Chances are ys Dcumers have BTDT.
Most resorts have non-skiier amenities so I'm guessing it's not a problem entertaining toddler, but just feeling tired at the end of the day


Are you normally this tired? Are you sure you're not pregnant?

[Anonymous]

How old is the toddler? My older son learned to ski a week after he turned 3. I plan on teaching my younger son next year when he is about 2.5. It's not fun adult skiing, but it's better than trying to entertain a 3 year old at the lodge all day. Plus it's usually free to just hop on the carpet, which is where you will spend most of the time.

[Anonymous]

Having kids means modifying your lifestyle in large and small ways for 18+ years. If you want the ski trip of yore then you need to plan it with your friends or make arrangements for someone to care for your kids while you go with your spouse. To expect these tiny people to just fit right into your wishes is both foolish and selfish. What will you do if your kids don’t like skiing when they get bigger?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Having kids means modifying your lifestyle in large and small ways for 18+ years. If you want the ski trip of yore then you need to plan it with your friends or make arrangements for someone to care for your kids while you go with your spouse. To expect these tiny people to just fit right into your wishes is both foolish and selfish. What will you do if your kids don’t like skiing when they get bigger?

Oh please. Taking you kids on a ski trip can be a wonderful family experience. Did OP say anywhere her kids didn’t like it? And even if not, my parents forced me on many a ski trip, snorkel excursion, ancient cathedral etc. At the time I whined and now I know they were enriching experiences that I was lucky to have.

[Anonymous]

Here's my take, as a person with a 3 and 6 year old who has traveled quite a bit with them, including with a lot of other families, so I'm pretty confident my experiences are fairly widely shared:

When you're there, it sucks. You have your moments, and they're wonderful, but mostly you are exhausted and wish you were home and wonder why you ever did this trip. See: OP

After it's over, you remember the best parts. The exhaustion fades. You don't remember that you were ever tired, or at the end of your rope, or your kids had a meltdown. You think "wow, we had a great trip to (skiing / Europe / Beach) and I can't imagine NOT going a trip with my young kids." You look at the photos and you tell the stories and you think, see, that wasn't bad at all. And you plan your next trip. See: every smug PP in this thread posting that it's totally possible.

I am all of you. Trips with toddlers - especially 2-kid trips - are hell. But we remember them fondly and we think highly of ourselves for doing them.

Don't worry OP, in a month this will all be a fond memory

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here's my take, as a person with a 3 and 6 year old who has traveled quite a bit with them, including with a lot of other families, so I'm pretty confident my experiences are fairly widely shared:

When you're there, it sucks. You have your moments, and they're wonderful, but mostly you are exhausted and wish you were home and wonder why you ever did this trip. See: OP

After it's over, you remember the best parts. The exhaustion fades. You don't remember that you were ever tired, or at the end of your rope, or your kids had a meltdown. You think "wow, we had a great trip to (skiing / Europe / Beach) and I can't imagine NOT going a trip with my young kids." You look at the photos and you tell the stories and you think, see, that wasn't bad at all. And you plan your next trip. See: every smug PP in this thread posting that it's totally possible.

I am all of you. Trips with toddlers - especially 2-kid trips - are hell. But we remember them fondly and we think highly of ourselves for doing them.

Don't worry OP, in a month this will all be a fond memory

I mean, this depends. One of my kids was diagnosed at age 7 and it was hell traveling with them as a toddler. It was just me chasing DC all day trying to keep them from going to the hospital or breaking too many things. My other kid would be up 3-4 times every trip at that age. We only did travel to keep important relationships alive. I vividly remember how painful those trips were. I would not have done one to just ski. Either way is a valid choice.