Toddler travel/vacations and perpetual exhaustion
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Anonymous
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Currently on a ski trip with toddler who is too young to ski. For the past few days, I’ve been either watching her or skiing 100% of the time (taking turns with partner, and we have an older kid too). By the time I put toddler down I’m physically collapsing. Skiing is my favorite thing in the world, but I’m wondering if I just need to wait until she’s ready for ski school and try a different kind of vacation?
Then again, is there any vacation that’s not exhausting with a toddler? With our first it was much easier to tag team, but now we’re both more exhausted, she doesn’t nap, my partner is annoyed that I don’t want to stay up and watch a movie because I’m just so tired. He says maybe we should just stop traveling for a couple of years. I love to travel, and with one kid we did skiing, Europe trips, national parks, beach etc with no trouble. I’m reluctant to give up vacations but maybe he’s right. I’ve had such an intense year at work and my team is counting on me to come back relaxed and ready to work, which is literally the opposite of what’s happening right now. How does everyone do it? I see so many families traveling with toddlers all over the world and not looking half-dead like we are. What am I missing? |
Anonymous
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I think a ski trip with two young kids, one of whom is a toddler who can’t ski, is insanely ambitious and was never going to be a relaxing vacation, sorry.
The key to a relaxing vacation with young kids is: childcare. Nanny, grandparent, resort kids club, hiring a sitter for stretches. Also, you have to plan vacations that feature things that will be fun for them and tire them out. That means spending time at playgrounds, in children’s museums, at the pool, etc. Not the whole time, but you buy their participation in other stuff, like relaxing on the beach, behaving at a nice restaurant, going to a show, with physical, child-centric activities. |
Anonymous
| Does your slope or resort have a babysitter you can hire for 3 hours so you can get some quality time with your partner? |
Anonymous
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OP - our oldest loves to ski and we’ve found fun activities for toddler as well (playgrounds, sledding, etc). They’re having an amazing time.
About childcare, we don’t have a grandma or sitter who can come with us and I felt uncomfortable finding a random stranger to watch her (we have trusted babysitters at home, but I’ve never left her with someone I haven’t met or vetted) And the group babysitting in wintertime at that age seems like 100% chance of getting some virus and ruining vacation for whole family. Plus having her freaking out being left in a new place with unfamiliar people. But maybe my fears are exaggerated :/ |
Anonymous
| They have a toddler who naps and they bring the nanny/grandma. |
Anonymous
| We bring a nanny on vacations. Makes a WORLD of difference. |
Anonymous
| Lol I have young kids, oldest a toddler, and this is insane to me. What exactly were your expectations? |
Anonymous
| I can’t even imagine undertaking this trip and thinking it would be anything other than incredibly difficult and exhausting. I think we must have very different expectations. |
Anonymous
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You are missing that sane people don’t go on vacations with toddlers because there is no such thing as a vacation with a toddler. It’s parenting in a different place without all the supports that make life manageable with a toddler and is by definition exhausting.
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Anonymous
This ☝🏼☝🏼☝🏼 |
Anonymous
Yep. Our last trip was when our youngest was 9 months, just before he started to crawl. He just turned 5 and we’re taking our first vacation since then over Spring Break. No naps, diapers, stroller, diaper bag, ahh…FREEDOM! |
Anonymous
| Your expectations are too high. Toddlers are too hard to predict and they don’t like being off schedule. When my kids were that young (17 months apart in age), we could only handle a beach vacation in a rented house. |
Anonymous
| Toddler vacations for us have been beach with a house close to it (walking distance). Up at 7. Breakfast, go to beach, back by 11:30, lunch and nap for the toddler. Quiet play, reading, drawing or grocery store, bike ride with the older kid (6). Whoever is home gets to nap. 3 pm is pool time or back out to beach. Dinner at 6. Kids in bed at 8 pm and dh and i have time to ourselves. But most of the beach vacations we shared the house with another family so kids (the oldest mostly) have more playmates an each couple can get away for a solo dinner/ nap time swim a couple times. Our key is that my kids napped until 4 and we have had low expectations for activity on vacation. |
Anonymous
Some resorts (snowshoe for example if you’re looking for something local) have “pre ski school” for 2-3 year olds where they mostly just do crafts and activities/play in the snow and maybe do a short ski lesson if they’re ready. This is the only way I’d try to do a ski vacation with a young child |
Anonymous
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+1 to the comments above. I think when traveling with kids under 5 your options are
1. Bring a grandparent or nanny to help with childcare 2. Hire a local babysitter or enroll at least the youngest in a kids camp or care 3. Have no childcare and prepare to be more exhausted than at home We’ve done all versions and my preference is #2. #1 can be good but with our nanny I feel a little responsible for making sure she’s ok so it’s almost like hosting another person and the expense of having an additional room/space for another adult and any airfare is a lot. Grandparents being there changes the dynamic a bit not necessarily in a bad way, but it’s just a different kind of trip. We’ve had good success with local sitters, but my kids adapt easily to new people, and we’ve also gone places where friends have vacationed and are able to provide recommendations. We’ve used the same people over the years when we return which is nice. What works best for us is getting a sitter from like 3-8 - we do a family activity in the morning, lunch, some quiet time and then when the sitter comes my husband and I do a fun activity by ourselves and an early dinner. Then we’re home just after/around bedtime and can enjoy some relaxation before we go to bed. If you go the no childcare route, having realistic expectations making a world of difference. Slower pace, keep it simple and it can still be fun. |