BIL “and family”

[Anonymous]

I really don’t understand the issue here. You say it seems your sister isn’t considering you part of the family because you are addressed on the envelope as part of the family? How could she have included you in the family more than including you in the family?

[Anonymous]

OP, just address her cards (if you have enough time on your hands/concern to send one) to 'Larlo Larlen and family' so you will feel better AND see by her reaction if she even cares.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every time ILs (DH’s brother+SIL) send a Christmas card, the front of the envelope is written “Larlo Larlen and family” by SIL. “From Larlen Family”. They know my DH’s family ( , kids and me, by the way). They know me since 2003. SIL includes herself as Larlen family. It seems I’m not part of their family. What are your thoughts on this?

OP, you are reading this COMPLETELY different than I do!

Exdh has 3 brothers. When I addressed cards, I would put "Firstname Larlen and family' on the cards so I knew which one went to which brother! Otherwise every card would say "Larlen Family' and I'd have no idea which was which on the inside.

You jump right to 'I'm not part of the family'.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every time ILs (DH’s brother+SIL) send a Christmas card, the front of the envelope is written “Larlo Larlen and family” by SIL. “From Larlen Family”. They know my DH’s family ( , kids and me, by the way). They know me since 2003. SIL includes herself as Larlen family. It seems I’m not part of their family. What are your thoughts on this?

OP, you are reading this COMPLETELY different than I do!

Exdh has 3 brothers. When I addressed cards, I would put "Firstname Larlen and family' on the cards so I knew which one went to which brother! Otherwise every card would say "Larlen Family' and I'd have no idea which was which on the inside.

You jump right to 'I'm not part of the family'.

Are you assuming everyone lives in the same house and at the same address? Because adding the address makes it pretty clear which one goes to which brother. The post office will have no problem sorting it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In the past, I chose very nice Christmas cards and signed them as “The Larlen Family. Larlo, Larly, and little Larlos” to send a clear message.

Using the birth of the Christ child and meaning of his teachings to “send a message” to extended family. Truly the reason for the season.

Exactly this. OP and other rage-filled ILs, have you ever once taken a moment to examine your behavior and your feelings in this context? Some of you are out here telling OP how to “get back” at her SIL…over a Christmas card.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I remember the day I realized my ILs never sent us their photo holiday cards -- ever.

It was easily 10 years after we got married, and I was invited to a party hosted by SIL's neighborhood friend. I saw SIL's photo card in their holiday display and I said something like "Oh, wow SIL -- I didn't know you sent holiday cards!"

She said, "We send them to friends. Obviously you don't need one. You know what we look like."

So there. I'm not even "and family" - I'm "not a friend."

This is something my rude-ass SIL would say.

You are not alone, PP. Some women are threatened by the idea of another woman in the family, especially if you are different from them. It makes for good stories with my friends, because they know to expect some rudeness directed at me when I see one SIL in particular. Laugh about it with your friends when (not if) it happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I remember the day I realized my ILs never sent us their photo holiday cards -- ever.

It was easily 10 years after we got married, and I was invited to a party hosted by SIL's neighborhood friend. I saw SIL's photo card in their holiday display and I said something like "Oh, wow SIL -- I didn't know you sent holiday cards!"

She said, "We send them to friends. Obviously you don't need one. You know what we look like."

So there. I'm not even "and family" - I'm "not a friend."

This is something my rude-ass SIL would say.

You are not alone, PP. Some women are threatened by the idea of another woman in the family, especially if you are different from them. It makes for good stories with my friends, because they know to expect some rudeness directed at me when I see one SIL in particular. Laugh about it with your friends when (not if) it happens.

NP. So SIL would say you’re not a friend, and you would say she is “rude-ass,” and you gossip about her. How is that not dead even rudeness on both of your parts? Sounds like you’re threatened, too. This is what kills me about you posters who go off on your “rude” SILs—you sound just as rude as they are! Spoiler alert: she laughs about you with her friends, too.

I love my SIL. She is chill and doesn’t waste time gossiping.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I remember the day I realized my ILs never sent us their photo holiday cards -- ever.

It was easily 10 years after we got married, and I was invited to a party hosted by SIL's neighborhood friend. I saw SIL's photo card in their holiday display and I said something like "Oh, wow SIL -- I didn't know you sent holiday cards!"

She said, "We send them to friends. Obviously you don't need one. You know what we look like."

So there. I'm not even "and family" - I'm "not a friend."

This is something my rude-ass SIL would say.

You are not alone, PP. Some women are threatened by the idea of another woman in the family, especially if you are different from them. It makes for good stories with my friends, because they know to expect some rudeness directed at me when I see one SIL in particular. Laugh about it with your friends when (not if) it happens.

NP. So SIL would say you’re not a friend, and you would say she is “rude-ass,” and you gossip about her. How is that not dead even rudeness on both of your parts? Sounds like you’re threatened, too. This is what kills me about you posters who go off on your “rude” SILs—you sound just as rude as they are! Spoiler alert: she laughs about you with her friends, too.

I love my SIL. She is chill and doesn’t waste time gossiping.

No she doesn't. She has no friends. Wait for it......

Yup. Because she is rude-ass!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I remember the day I realized my ILs never sent us their photo holiday cards -- ever.

It was easily 10 years after we got married, and I was invited to a party hosted by SIL's neighborhood friend. I saw SIL's photo card in their holiday display and I said something like "Oh, wow SIL -- I didn't know you sent holiday cards!"

She said, "We send them to friends. Obviously you don't need one. You know what we look like."

So there. I'm not even "and family" - I'm "not a friend."

I wouldn’t say it to their face, but I don’t consider any of DH’s siblings (he has four) or their spouses friends. And they wouldn’t consider me one either. I think it’s more of an exception to be friends with your ILs.

Agree, but it is sad when your own family had best friends who happened to be their in laws - like my mom and all my dad's sisters.

They included mom in everything, and it was quite beautiful.

[Anonymous]

I totally wish my life was so carefree that I had energy to manufacture stupid shit to be pissed off about

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I remember the day I realized my ILs never sent us their photo holiday cards -- ever.

It was easily 10 years after we got married, and I was invited to a party hosted by SIL's neighborhood friend. I saw SIL's photo card in their holiday display and I said something like "Oh, wow SIL -- I didn't know you sent holiday cards!"

She said, "We send them to friends. Obviously you don't need one. You know what we look like."

So there. I'm not even "and family" - I'm "not a friend."

This is something my rude-ass SIL would say.

You are not alone, PP. Some women are threatened by the idea of another woman in the family, especially if you are different from them. It makes for good stories with my friends, because they know to expect some rudeness directed at me when I see one SIL in particular. Laugh about it with your friends when (not if) it happens.

NP. So SIL would say you’re not a friend, and you would say she is “rude-ass,” and you gossip about her. How is that not dead even rudeness on both of your parts? Sounds like you’re threatened, too. This is what kills me about you posters who go off on your “rude” SILs—you sound just as rude as they are! Spoiler alert: she laughs about you with her friends, too.

I love my SIL. She is chill and doesn’t waste time gossiping.

No she doesn't. She has no friends. Wait for it......

Yup. Because she is rude-ass!

This is really not a good look for you, just so you know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every time ILs (DH’s brother+SIL) send a Christmas card, the front of the envelope is written “Larlo Larlen and family” by SIL. “From Larlen Family”. They know my DH’s family ( , kids and me, by the way). They know me since 2003. SIL includes herself as Larlen family. It seems I’m not part of their family. What are your thoughts on this?

OP, you are reading this COMPLETELY different than I do!

Exdh has 3 brothers. When I addressed cards, I would put "Firstname Larlen and family' on the cards so I knew which one went to which brother! Otherwise every card would say "Larlen Family' and I'd have no idea which was which on the inside.

You jump right to 'I'm not part of the family'.

Are you assuming everyone lives in the same house and at the same address? Because adding the address makes it pretty clear which one goes to which brother. The post office will have no problem sorting it out.

No, you're misunderstanding. It's so you know which card goes with each family, so that Bro#2family doesn't get Bro#1family's card-as you are writing and addressing them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I remember the day I realized my ILs never sent us their photo holiday cards -- ever.

It was easily 10 years after we got married, and I was invited to a party hosted by SIL's neighborhood friend. I saw SIL's photo card in their holiday display and I said something like "Oh, wow SIL -- I didn't know you sent holiday cards!"

She said, "We send them to friends. Obviously you don't need one. You know what we look like."

So there. I'm not even "and family" - I'm "not a friend."

I would assume SIL meant that she sent them to friends she doesn’t see often aka people who don’t know what her kids look like at any given moment.

[Anonymous]

People send things here and include my dog’s name in the address so your SIL hates you but also why assume she is doing the addressing and not your BIL?

[Anonymous]

That would annoy me too. My MIL often refers to us as the "Tom Smith Family" which I think is slightly worse.