BIL “and family”

[Anonymous]

Every time ILs (DH’s brother+SIL) send a Christmas card, the front of the envelope is written “Larlo Larlen and family” by SIL. “From Larlen Family”. They know my DH’s family ( , kids and me, by the way). They know me since 2003. SIL includes herself as Larlen family. It seems I’m not part of their family. What are your thoughts on this?

[Anonymous]

It would depend completely on how she treats me and my kids on other occasions, especially in person. A card isn't enough to say.

[Anonymous]

It may be a quirk in how they want to address their cards. You would fall under “and family”. I feel like the way they address their cards would be more appropriate if they only knew Larlo Larlen and didn’t know the family, like a work colleague.

When I address Christmas cards, I address it to “The Larlen Family”. It sounds more inclusive, even if it’s not materially different from how your SIL does it.

[Anonymous]

Huh? You are included in the “and family.” If I told my DH that “I’d like to invite my friend Janet and her family over for pizza next week” that I’m including Janet’s husband in that.

What a weird thing for you to be fixated on.

And by the way, look how you just referred to her! “DH’s brother and SIL”…so she’s your husband’s SIL, but not yours?

[Anonymous]

Seems like the most minor of minor things, but I assume it's paired with a bunch of other annoying habits or you wouldn't say anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It may be a quirk in how they want to address their cards. You would fall under “and family”. I feel like the way they address their cards would be more appropriate if they only knew Larlo Larlen and didn’t know the family, like a work colleague.

When I address Christmas cards, I address it to “The Larlen Family”. It sounds more inclusive, even if it’s not materially different from how your SIL does it.

That was my first thought and voiced it to my DH.

[Anonymous]

So she took the time to send your family holiday greetings, and this is how you react?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every time ILs (DH’s brother+SIL) send a Christmas card, the front of the envelope is written “Larlo Larlen and family” by SIL. “From Larlen Family”. They know my DH’s family ( , kids and me, by the way). They know me since 2003. SIL includes herself as Larlen family. It seems I’m not part of their family. What are your thoughts on this?

Oh yes, SIL passive-aggressive I had two.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It may be a quirk in how they want to address their cards. You would fall under “and family”. I feel like the way they address their cards would be more appropriate if they only knew Larlo Larlen and didn’t know the family, like a work colleague.

When I address Christmas cards, I address it to “The Larlen Family”. It sounds more inclusive, even if it’s not materially different from how your SIL does it.

That was my first thought and voiced it to my DH.

Good, now your husband knows how petty you are, that someone took the time to send your family a card, and this is how you respond. I’m curious, did you send holiday cards this year?

[Anonymous]

She still sends paper Christmas cards? And you're still getting hung up on the envelope? She must be really annoying in person for someone to give any thought to how she addresses the envelope on a Christmas card that came in the mail. It's not like it an invitation and who it's addressed to is who is invited.

I'm sorry your feelings got hurt. It probably wasn't intentional though, unless she's truly diabolical and would weaponize Christmas cards.

[Anonymous]

What other inconsequential things are blowing up your bored mind? You will find slights when you look.

You weren’t “Mr. and Mrs. ——“

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't waste any time thinking about this.

[Anonymous]

What? Who the hell cares? lol

I barely notice how envelopes are addressed. If you have an issue with your SIL let's discuss it but it can't be something as unimportant as how she addressed an envelope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Huh? You are included in the “and family.” If I told my DH that “I’d like to invite my friend Janet and her family over for pizza next week” that I’m including Janet’s husband in that.

What a weird thing for you to be fixated on.

And by the way, look how you just referred to her! “DH’s brother and SIL”…so she’s your husband’s SIL, but not yours?

Based on her non- inclusive attitudes, I don’t call her SIL.

[Anonymous]

In the past, I chose very nice Christmas cards and signed them as “The Larlen Family. Larlo, Larly, and little Larlos” to send a clear message.