If the party invite says “no gifts” or “bring a canned good” do you still get a gift?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No no no gift! The only time I violate this is when I fail to read the invite closely.

We just hosted 26 kindergartens, siblings and neighbors for a November birthday. I do not need 20+ toys a month before Christmas. We told our 6yr old we were going to say “no gifts” and that in exchange we would buy him a Lego set. He received 3 gifts and a lot of drawings and handmade cards from kids. He was happy, we were happy.

When a kid does a food drive, book swap, pet supplies for the animal shelter, etc. we always do our best to participate- especially like the pet supplies thing where it’s part of the party theme.

Or, you could buy less for your child and let them have gifts from friends. But, hey we get it, you are too good to let your kid have presents.

A donation drive is not for a birthday. If you don't want gifts, fine, but you really shouldn't say anything about gifts or demand donations as it's tacky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the birthday kid

No. My reading comprehension is excellent.

+1 not sure why is so hard for people to follow instructions.

[Anonymous]

For us, no gifts means that we don't get an obligatory gift. However, if my kids are invited to a party for a particular individual and they know of a specific gift that is well matched to this child, then we'll get the gift. Like the time my son was invited to a birthday party for one of his best buddies in school and the kid had been talking about a particular game he wanted, but hadn't gotten yet. We got the game. Unless we have a specific reason and gift idea that was particularly specific to that child, we don't bring a gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No no no gift! The only time I violate this is when I fail to read the invite closely.

We just hosted 26 kindergartens, siblings and neighbors for a November birthday. I do not need 20+ toys a month before Christmas. We told our 6yr old we were going to say “no gifts” and that in exchange we would buy him a Lego set. He received 3 gifts and a lot of drawings and handmade cards from kids. He was happy, we were happy.

When a kid does a food drive, book swap, pet supplies for the animal shelter, etc. we always do our best to participate- especially like the pet supplies thing where it’s part of the party theme.

Or, you could buy less for your child and let them have gifts from friends. But, hey we get it, you are too good to let your kid have presents.

A donation drive is not for a birthday. If you don't want gifts, fine, but you really shouldn't say anything about gifts or demand donations as it's tacky.

Not PP, but my kids don't need 20+ toys AT Christmas, never mind other times of the year. Also, like many of the PPs, I live in a small condo. We'll be no gifts until the parties are just a few close friends.

For invites, I follow the requests of the host. It's not that deep.

[Anonymous]

No Gifts = No Gifts

My kids make a handmade card, and that seems like what most people do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is there a way to say books only. It seems no one follows no gifts so I'm trying to channel energy to something that can be fairly inexpensive.

I've seen birthday parties that were book *exchanges.* Each kid brings a wrapped book, and then everyone takes a different book home.

[Anonymous]

Omg why is this so hard. If it says no gift, don’t bring a gift. Do you make other things in your life this difficult?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are these two different invitations?
I do not bring a gift if requested not to bring a gift.
I would assume “bring a canned good” means in addition to the gift unless instructed otherwise, so I would bring both.

Same, although I will admit to being deeply confused about the canned good. Any context provided?

Right? Just bring a single can of food to a kid birthday party?

Have you reached middle age without participating in canned food drives/community service??

[Anonymous]

If it says no gifts I have my kid make a card or other small homemade craft. I have never seen a canned good request but I would bring a can and have my kid make a card or craft.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me "no gifts" translate to "cash only". Since I normally spend $25 for a kid's gift, I will send an Amazon e-gift card of the same amount.

If they have specified "canned goods", I will not send my kid with a can. I will buy $25 worth of cans.

In the first case, I understand that you see giving a gift card as being generous but I see it as you're still not doing what the host has asked. No gifts means no gifts at all--not an e-gift card either. I'm not saying I don't think most people would be happy to receive a gift card...I'm saying that you're still going against their stated wishes if you do this and it's no necessary. A kids' bday party is not a wedding. At a wedding, if they specify no gifts often it is still expected that a guest give a monetary gift. It's a custom. There is no such custom for a kid's bday party.

For the canned goods, since they're being donated to a food drive, it's great to give as much as you can/want.

First of all, we have only ever had one person who specified "no gifts" for their kid's birthday. They also redeemed the gift card. So we do not have a slew of people saying "no gifts". IME - money has always been welcome and no one rejected the money.

As for the canned goods, I cannot send my kid with a can of soup to anyone's party. Lol, what impact are they making to the charity if in total you are giving several assorted cans of food (and God knows no one checks if you are giving expired food). This fake virtue signaling is horrible. If the kid wants to donate to a food bank, they should ask the food bank what supplies they need, and then ask for the guests to only get those items and each kid get food worth the amount they would have given as a gift.

If you want to have a "no gifts" birthday party - just call it a lunch or a playdate. Don't announce that it is a birthday party. Simple. When you specify the occasion, you will get gifts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just do what they ask. No gift and bring a canned good. Why are you asking here?

+1

This is the way...why challenge the request?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No Gifts = No Gifts

My kids make a handmade card, and that seems like what most people do.

Perfect, great idea!

[Anonymous]

For one of my DS's birthdays we asked guests to bring a box of cereal that he could donate to our church pantry where we volunteered every once in a while. He felt such pride and joy when we loaded our car with dozens of cereal boxes to donate. (It was a big party!)

I highly recommend going with this approach. We have lots of friends from cultures who don't feel right coming to a party empty handed. This was a way to honor their wish to bring something, contribute to an important community need, teach our son the joy of giving, and avoid the accumulation of toys.

[Anonymous]

Every time I've gone to a "no gift" party, the vast majority of attendees still bring gifts...I see the kids arriving with them, and/or I see them piled up or on a table somewhere at the party space. So I bring a gift no matter what. I guess I'm a jerk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every time I've gone to a "no gift" party, the vast majority of attendees still bring gifts...I see the kids arriving with them, and/or I see them piled up or on a table somewhere at the party space. So I bring a gift no matter what. I guess I'm a jerk.

I meann every time my **DD** has gone to a "no gift" bday party.