If the party invite says “no gifts” or “bring a canned good” do you still get a gift?

[Anonymous]

This is why there is so much confusion on DCUM. Women you would think otherwise are intelligent, unsure of how to act and being confused by words

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why there is so much confusion on DCUM. Women you would think otherwise are intelligent, unsure of how to act and being confused by words

I'm pretty sure the OP understands the invite's words. She was surveying how many folks abide by those requests. Plenty of people don't.

[Anonymous]

The no gift parties are usually the big parties and we generally decline those invites. Most of the small parties with real friends are still gift parties which is great. Getting birthday presents was an enjoyable part of my childhood and I like my kids to experience that too.

[Anonymous]

I've been to 3 birthday parties (same family, different sibling) and the invite clearly said "no gifts necessary". We brought a homemade card and everyone else brought gifts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been to 3 birthday parties (same family, different sibling) and the invite clearly said "no gifts necessary". We brought a homemade card and everyone else brought gifts.

This is not the same thing as no gifts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every time I've gone to a "no gift" party, the vast majority of attendees still bring gifts...I see the kids arriving with them, and/or I see them piled up or on a table somewhere at the party space. So I bring a gift no matter what. I guess I'm a jerk.

It may be cultural/locally specific. I live in a wealthy neighborhood with outrageous real estate costs -- kids don't want for anything, but also we all mostly live in small apartments. So everyone gets it and most parties are no gift and those requests are respected.

[Anonymous]

No, because I can read.

[Anonymous]

If the invite says NO GIFTS NECESSARY we still bring a gift.
If the invite says NO GIFTS we bring a homemade card with candy attached.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No no no gift! The only time I violate this is when I fail to read the invite closely.

We just hosted 26 kindergartens, siblings and neighbors for a November birthday. I do not need 20+ toys a month before Christmas. We told our 6yr old we were going to say “no gifts” and that in exchange we would buy him a Lego set. He received 3 gifts and a lot of drawings and handmade cards from kids. He was happy, we were happy.

When a kid does a food drive, book swap, pet supplies for the animal shelter, etc. we always do our best to participate- especially like the pet supplies thing where it’s part of the party theme.

Or, you could buy less for your child and let them have gifts from friends. But, hey we get it, you are too good to let your kid have presents.

A donation drive is not for a birthday. If you don't want gifts, fine, but you really shouldn't say anything about gifts or demand donations as it's tacky.

First off, we don’t give our kids a ton of stuff for Christmas. Or any holiday really. But we do get them things they like and use. I also have a closet full of “rock painting kit” “make your own bath bomb” “grow a fairy garden” “color a super hero flag” as well as duplicate copies of games we already own. I try to get these things out and use them on rainy days, but we just never get to all of them and it’s a waste. I can’t return them and let my kid buy something they want because people rarely include receipts. I can’t regift them because that requires me to keep track of who gave what long after the thank you notes are written and delivered.
My kids don’t get 26 gifts from us, grandparents and aunts together over a calendar year. No one needs 26 gifts purchased with a generic 6yr old in mind.

[Anonymous]

Help please: DS is invited to milestone housewarming and birthday dinner but no mention of gifts. He asked his friend what they would like and they said “nothing”. Should he bring a gift?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Help please: DS is invited to milestone housewarming and birthday dinner but no mention of gifts. He asked his friend what they would like and they said “nothing”. Should he bring a gift?

How old is your son? How old is the birthday person? I don't know what a "milestone housewarming" party is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No no no gift! The only time I violate this is when I fail to read the invite closely.

We just hosted 26 kindergartens, siblings and neighbors for a November birthday. I do not need 20+ toys a month before Christmas. We told our 6yr old we were going to say “no gifts” and that in exchange we would buy him a Lego set. He received 3 gifts and a lot of drawings and handmade cards from kids. He was happy, we were happy.

When a kid does a food drive, book swap, pet supplies for the animal shelter, etc. we always do our best to participate- especially like the pet supplies thing where it’s part of the party theme.

Or, you could buy less for your child and let them have gifts from friends. But, hey we get it, you are too good to let your kid have presents.

A donation drive is not for a birthday. If you don't want gifts, fine, but you really shouldn't say anything about gifts or demand donations as it's tacky.

First off, we don’t give our kids a ton of stuff for Christmas. Or any holiday really. But we do get them things they like and use. I also have a closet full of “rock painting kit” “make your own bath bomb” “grow a fairy garden” “color a super hero flag” as well as duplicate copies of games we already own. I try to get these things out and use them on rainy days, but we just never get to all of them and it’s a waste. I can’t return them and let my kid buy something they want because people rarely include receipts. I can’t regift them because that requires me to keep track of who gave what long after the thank you notes are written and delivered.
My kids don’t get 26 gifts from us, grandparents and aunts together over a calendar year. No one needs 26 gifts purchased with a generic 6yr old in mind.

Goodness. How hard is it when writing the thank you notes, to write a post-it that says "Given by Larlo Smith. 11/15/22" on it before you stuff it into the closet? Or tape the card that came with the gift to the box?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No no no gift! The only time I violate this is when I fail to read the invite closely.

We just hosted 26 kindergartens, siblings and neighbors for a November birthday. I do not need 20+ toys a month before Christmas. We told our 6yr old we were going to say “no gifts” and that in exchange we would buy him a Lego set. He received 3 gifts and a lot of drawings and handmade cards from kids. He was happy, we were happy.

When a kid does a food drive, book swap, pet supplies for the animal shelter, etc. we always do our best to participate- especially like the pet supplies thing where it’s part of the party theme.

Or, you could buy less for your child and let them have gifts from friends. But, hey we get it, you are too good to let your kid have presents.

A donation drive is not for a birthday. If you don't want gifts, fine, but you really shouldn't say anything about gifts or demand donations as it's tacky.

First off, we don’t give our kids a ton of stuff for Christmas. Or any holiday really. But we do get them things they like and use. I also have a closet full of “rock painting kit” “make your own bath bomb” “grow a fairy garden” “color a super hero flag” as well as duplicate copies of games we already own. I try to get these things out and use them on rainy days, but we just never get to all of them and it’s a waste. I can’t return them and let my kid buy something they want because people rarely include receipts. I can’t regift them because that requires me to keep track of who gave what long after the thank you notes are written and delivered.
My kids don’t get 26 gifts from us, grandparents and aunts together over a calendar year. No one needs 26 gifts purchased with a generic 6yr old in mind.

Goodness. How hard is it when writing the thank you notes, to write a post-it that says "Given by Larlo Smith. 11/15/22" on it before you stuff it into the closet? Or tape the card that came with the gift to the box?

Not only would this not be hard to do but it is also easy to donate to the myriad holiday toy drives that exist this time of year. No need for waste…