White mom and POC dad

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Latino is not a race. It refers to a group of people who come from a place where Romance languages are spoken (Spanish, Portuguese, Italian, French, and Romanian).

And yes, within these groups there are people of different racial backgrounds. Latin America is a melting pot of people from African, Asian, Native American, and European heritage.

No, that is not what Latino means. French people are not Latino. If you're going to drop into the thread with a random correction that tangential to the topic, at least be correct

[Anonymous]

Nope. Not true in my case or the case of a lot of other mixed families I know. My mom is white and my Dad POC/immigrant and we very much identify more with Dad's culture - it does help that we were part of a large community of that culture, cooked the food at home, had the clothes, visited Dad's home country several times, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Black mom here, and I absolutely have noticed this with respect to white Moms with biracial kids. I think it’s because moms are more likely to run the day to day logistics of the family, so they do what is familiar. I suspect if I had married a white guy I would still parent the same way. Men just don’t care as much (generally, not all of them). I married an African and very little of his culture/language/foods is apparent in our family because I don’t know them, and he doesn’t bother.

Yep, I’m the child of a white mom, black father and I have no real connection with African American culture to the point that my (1/4 black) elementary school aged children were surprised to learn they had African heritage, because it honestly just never came up until then.

[Anonymous]

No, I don't agree with this. But I do agree with the point that women/mothers drive culture. It's just that many women are very interested in making sure their kids know their father's culture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Moms take care of the kids. I am an immigrant (white) and most of my friends are immigrants married to Americans and all the kids go to language school for their mom’s native language. I know a few immigrant dads married to American women and those kids don’t get much of the dad’s language/culture because the dads don’t care enough to enroll the kids or do activities with them.
Also please stop making it about skin color. Just because you’re white doesn’t mean you’re American and just because you are not white doesn’t mean you are not American.

Same here. My kids speak my language and grew up in the community, with traditional foods.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The mother is still usually the anchor of the family, even in our modern, so called equal times.

My father is POC, and it's only because my white mother developed a chronic disability that he did the cooking, cleaning, household chores, entertaining, etc. That's how I know to cook foods from my father's country, and have absorbed some of his culture.

That being said, I don't like the immersion schools, because I detest this concept that language and history/culture should be separated. In MCPS, the curriculum is the standard US one, except it's in another language. I prefer to send my kids to the weekend school in our native language, where they get history, culture and language as a package deal. All the international families I know do the same thing for their native language.

We are a white family, but I’m fascinated by this position on immersion schools. We sent our daughter to a Spanish immersion school. Most kids there speak Spanish as their first language. Neither my husband nor I speak Spanish so our kid will always be “behind.” But, the idea that she isn’t learning history and culture from Spanish speaking countries isn’t our experience at all. She is in 5th grade and for 4 years she had teachers from Colombia. She knows a lot about that country. And most of her projects are about Spanish speaking people, countries, holidays, etc. Clearly, the Spanish speaking world is huge and not monolithic. But she is doing lots of stuff that the English classes are not doing.

Oh dear PP. You don't have a clue. It's just that you don't have a real Spanish school (or other Hispanic country) to compare it to.

[Anonymous]

Latina is not a race.
You can be a white Latina or a black Latina.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH here: it’s because, in general, moms are the ones who really care about that stuff, so they are the ones who drive it.

What if anything do men actually care about?

That’s kind of the looming question behind posts in 90% of the subforums in DCUM, isn’t it?!

+1 Aptly put, the six million dollar question.

[Anonymous]

I am a white mom with Mexican children. My kids identify as Mexican. They were born there and we speak Spanish at home. I have always made a great effort to focus on their culture. I actually speak to them in Spanish more than my husband does. We also have a lot of friends who are not American.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah no, nice try, OP. Maybe that’s what goes down in your family. But in my family and my social circle of white moms and Asian dads, the white moms are the ones making lunar new year happen, driving to Saturday language school, cooking the lunchbox tofu and placating the aunties. Not the dads.

Alas, sexism and established gender roles and assumptions know no race. POC moms and their kids do get really gatekeeper-y towards us as a mixed race family, but they pull the same crap on 2nd generation kids, too.

This is me with my Asian husband. I think it depends on the mom. I was on board and loving being immersed in a different culture. Family would joke I was more Asian than him. Kids are proud of both cultures.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Latino is not a race. It refers to a group of people who come from a place where Romance languages are spoken (Spanish, Portuguese, Italian, French, and Romanian).

And yes, within these groups there are people of different racial backgrounds. Latin America is a melting pot of people from African, Asian, Native American, and European heritage.

No, that is not what Latino means. French people are not Latino. If you're going to drop into the thread with a random correction that tangential to the topic, at least be correct

Oh heavens, first PP. Please educate yourself before you post. Latino/Latina is different from hispanic, and you are AT BEST switching those two things, but I'm not sure you understand either....

[Anonymous]

As most posters have pointed out, OP, you have made this about race and/or ethnicity and/or nationality, when this really is about patriarchy and gender dynamics.

I'm glad no one took your race bait.

[Anonymous]

If you are a woman in an interracial marriage trying to introduce your kids to their dad’s culture you also have to be careful of navigating other women of the culture gatekeeping what is appropriate for you to do or not. I’ve always tried to portray myself as an ally to the culture instead of fully part of the culture my kids are part of. It’s tiring and I can see why some may choose to not even participate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Latina is not a race.
You can be a white Latina or a black Latina.

No one said it was. Are you the PP from upthread who thinks Italians are Latino?

[Anonymous]

It’s because moms do most of the work. If dads cared, they would do more. They can’t be bothered.