VENT: So overwhelmed I'm not sure where to post this

[Anonymous]

I had melanoma and that should be your #1 priority to remove it as soon as possible so it is off your mental plate.

This may sound heartless, but a 90 year old is much older than average, and he has had a long life. Help him get the care he needs but don't stress out about it.

[Anonymous]

Hugs to you. I was in a sort of similar situation 4 years ago. Single, 4 year old son, full time job, father with terminal cancer, 2 not very helpful siblings, no other family. I lived through it and you can too.

Take care of yourself.
Attend to the melanoma.
Get hospice involved.
See if you can take FML. Lots of places will let you take a bit of leave each week, as opposed to taking it all in a chunk. Could you afford to work 4 days a week for a while?
Make your husband step up and take care of his child.
Make your siblings step up. They can help with money that can let you hire a monthly cleaner. They can each come for a week at a time, spaced out, over the next 6 months, to give you a break looking in on your dad. They can chase down insurance information.
Farm out every thing you can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My guess is that the reason your son is struggling with school has something to do with him catching every virus around now. What changed with him? Any recent trauma? Vaccines? Injuries?

Her son is struggling bc he's sensing the huge household stress and everyone he looks to for staniland support are currently a huge mess (Op, dh, grandpa).
Kids very easily pickup on these high anxiety situations and Op's kid is already prone to it given he has a 504 in place. Add to it the pressure of HS bball tryouts, the regular "stuff" teens go through, etc and it's no wonder the poor kid is struggling.

Also he is in 9th grade. High school can be a big transition and have much harder academics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had melanoma and that should be your #1 priority to remove it as soon as possible so it is off your mental plate.

This may sound heartless, but a 90 year old is much older than average, and he has had a long life. Help him get the care he needs but don't stress out about it.

You’re a pig

[Anonymous]

Take care of yourself first. Husband, dad, and kid can manage without you for a bit. Check into a hotel. Order room service. Stare at the wall. Watch trash tv. Take a deep breath. You can do anything but you can’t do everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I hear you and there's a lot going on so it's understandable that you're feeling overwhelmed. I could give some advice or recommendations or platitudes, but I don't think that's what you want right now. So I'll just offer you a hug. And FYI, peppermint mochas are out now.

I just love this post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hugs to you. I was in a sort of similar situation 4 years ago. Single, 4 year old son, full time job, father with terminal cancer, 2 not very helpful siblings, no other family. I lived through it and you can too.

Take care of yourself.
Attend to the melanoma.
Get hospice involved.
See if you can take FML. Lots of places will let you take a bit of leave each week, as opposed to taking it all in a chunk. Could you afford to work 4 days a week for a while?
Make your husband step up and take care of his child.
Make your siblings step up. They can help with money that can let you hire a monthly cleaner. They can each come for a week at a time, spaced out, over the next 6 months, to give you a break looking in on your dad. They can chase down insurance information.
Farm out every thing you can.

Yes, they should come visit and should at minimum assist with money.

My brother is the local one to my parents and I go visit once per month. I also give money to help.

[Anonymous]

Take care, OP. We’re thinking of you!

[Anonymous]

Can you get a therapist referral? I was in situation with many competing and overwhelming health crises over many months and it was surprisingly helpful to go to one appointment and dump everything on that poor provider. I got an urgent referral from my gp since I was at the point of barely sleeping or eating at that time.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm so sorry. I am in a similar place as you and I'll offer both hugs and a recommendation that you get an attorney to help with the Medicaid stuff.

Try to schedule some time where you can do something you want to do. It won't solve all your problems obviously but I know the feeling of being run ragged but all this stuff that you can't just ignore, so try to set aside from 8 pm on to watch a TV show or read a book or go for a walk or see a friend or something.

I read once that if you don't listen to your body when it tells you you need a break, eventually it's just going to take it, and it won't be at a convenient time. Hugs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I’m in a similar situation, and I’ve found that going into a bathroom, putting the seat down, turning the fan on (to block out noise from the outside), and just taking 10 minutes or so to read a trashy magazine or something silly on my phone, or even with my eyes closed, while breathing deeply and evenly, helps a ton. It’s just a mini-personal break from outside stressors.

I do this, too!

I work from home and I use the powder room downstairs and I always turn the fan on and take time to play a crossword or something on my phone. Having done it enough times now I actually can feel myself start to relax as soon as I shut the door. It doesn't have to be in the bathroom of course but I feel like there's something to be said about a relaxing routine somewhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My guess is that the reason your son is struggling with school has something to do with him catching every virus around now. What changed with him? Any recent trauma? Vaccines? Injuries?

I don’t mean to derail, but is this a joke?? *Everyone* is sick right now