VENT: So overwhelmed I'm not sure where to post this
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Anonymous
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Me: 50. One DS, 14 and in ninth grade, suddenly pulling all Cs and B- despite his high test scores and a 501 plan for anxiety. Plus constant colds and flu since the school year began, so he's been out a LOT. Also he's trying out for freshman basketball and has basically no chance of making the team (he's a decent player but is only 5'6"). He's going to be terribly disappointed.
My dad (of whom I'm sole caretaker): 90 years old. Widower. Hospitalized for sepsis. Diagnosed with major bladder tumor for which we have no prognosis. Can no longer function on his own. He has decided to forgo surgery and go into palliative care until he passes (which could be years). Apparently rehab and LTC will be part of the equation, but his insurance will cover only rehab, and he has no long-term care insurance. We'll have to spend all his assets before Medicare kicks in for long-term care. I have siblings but they're useless, and all live abroad. Husband: Man cold and whining. Started a consulting business this year and cut our income in half. Me: Barely able to keep up with the bare-bones functions of my demanding full-time job. Oh, and possible melanoma on my ass. I can't even focus on anything, sleep, or stop shaking from stress and constant doctors' calls and visits to hopsitals. No advice really needed. I just wanted to put all this out there into the universe...thanks for listening to me whinge. |
Anonymous
| OP, I hear you and there's a lot going on so it's understandable that you're feeling overwhelmed. I could give some advice or recommendations or platitudes, but I don't think that's what you want right now. So I'll just offer you a hug. And FYI, peppermint mochas are out now. |
Anonymous
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I'm really sorry, OP. Sometimes it's just too much. No wonder you are overwhelmed.
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Anonymous
| I'm sorry OP. That sounds exhausting and terrible. Sending you good vibes (and hopefully non-cancer results from your biopsy?) |
Anonymous
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Brene Brown has this piece on stressed v overwhelmed. Stressed means you have too much on your plate, you need some help, and you’re going into emotional overdrive. Overwhelmed means you literally have no more to give and you need to stop what you are doing and give yourself recuperative rest before you have any chance of being able to fix any one of the issues causing you to be overwhelmed.
You, my friend, are overwhelmed. So stop trying to pretend you are stressed and can manage this. You can’t. Stop everything today. Take the rest of the day, sleep, move your body, and eat something nourishing. That’s it. Once you have given your brain and your body the rest and restoration they need to function, you can make a plan of attack for any one of your issues. Do whatever it takes to get yourself to a point of stressed and then go from there. Big big hugs. You can do this. But only if you take care of yourself. |
Anonymous
| You’re in desperate need of self care. As much as you possibly can, prioritize taking care of yourself. Eat nutritiously, spend at least 20 uninterrupted minutes a day doing something you find relaxing, try to work in a 10 minute outdoor walk, even if you can’t sleep, spend time resting. |
Anonymous
| OP, I'm sorry. You are in incredibly challenging circumstances. It will eventually get better but a lot of what's so challenging is that it may not be soon. I hope it is and feel for you. It sounds like you are incredible support for your family and they are lucky to have you. Sending you love and appreciation for all you do (in case you are not feeling it from them at the moment). |
Anonymous
| OP I am so sorry and I’m sending hugs. You are really going through it. I know you do not want advice, but in addition to recommendations from PPs, try to grab a few minutes for yourself in nature if you can. Sending comfort. |
Anonymous
| I’m sorry OP. That sounds overwhelming. Please take care of yourself first. I will be praying for you. |
Anonymous
| My guess is that the reason your son is struggling with school has something to do with him catching every virus around now. What changed with him? Any recent trauma? Vaccines? Injuries? |
Anonymous
| I’m sorry OP. That is objectively a lot. You have too much for one person. |
Anonymous
Lots of healthy kids have been catching bugs this fall. |
Anonymous
+1. My younger kid who has been in daycare for years caught everything this fall. So did I, a healthy adult. We haven't masked or restricted our activities for a long time, so it's not that. |
Anonymous
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Maybe stop denigrating your husband. I mean I get it, you found a close and easy mark. But whining about a “man cold” is a terrible look and ruins your bid for sympathy.
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Anonymous
Really? That made me immediately empathize with OP because I’ve been there and it’s a real PITA. |