Am I being unreasonable/selfish? AITA?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I disagree. She should be allowed to have one space in her house thats just for her. Get them some yoga mats for the family room.

Presumably she has a room.

They're all her rooms, because it's her house. Adults can set rules in their own houses. Unless these kids are paying the mortgage, OP has every right to keep the room off limits. NTA, OP.

DP. It wouldn't be a problem but her DH shared the view that she should let the kids use the room. Otherwise it wouldn't be an issue.

When you say that 'she has a room', are you talking about her bedroom? Because if you are, then she, like probably shares that with her DH. It's not 'my room', it's 'our room'. Since my DH suffers from ADHD like our DSs, it's not a refuge or a place where I can exert a lot of control. It's nearly a daily battle to get DH to move his clothes/things/off my dresser and not not stack stuff on the cedar chest at the foot of the bed. There is a chair with a footstool in there where I like to read but usually have to move his pillows/clothes/books in order to sit in it.

OP - I'm totally on your side in this. I would recommend you agree to sharing the space but everyone using must abide by your rules. Come to agreement on what should happen when (and you know it's a when, not if) they don't. You all can negotiate how many strikes they get before they're out. It will at least give the appearance of you being flexible/reasonable and shut down any subsequent b:tching.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I read your other thread, and what struck me is that you sound like you are expressing the mental rigidity I associate with ADHD.

If you are working on mental rigidity with your kids, this could be an opportunity to model the same.

Mental rigidity is associated with the autism spectrum (one end of which is very high-functioning). People frequently have ADHD and a form of autism. But ADHD by itself is not characterized by rigidity.

That is not consistent with what multiple neuropsychs have told me regarding ADHD.

Feel free to check the diagnostic criteria.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I read your other thread, and what struck me is that you sound like you are expressing the mental rigidity I associate with ADHD.

If you are working on mental rigidity with your kids, this could be an opportunity to model the same.

Mental rigidity is associated with the autism spectrum (one end of which is very high-functioning). People frequently have ADHD and a form of autism. But ADHD by itself is not characterized by rigidity.

This is a fancy way of using the accusation of being on the spectrum as an insult online. Next level.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I read your other thread, and what struck me is that you sound like you are expressing the mental rigidity I associate with ADHD.

If you are working on mental rigidity with your kids, this could be an opportunity to model the same.

Mental rigidity is associated with the autism spectrum (one end of which is very high-functioning). People frequently have ADHD and a form of autism. But ADHD by itself is not characterized by rigidity.

That is not consistent with what multiple neuropsychs have told me regarding ADHD.

Feel free to check the diagnostic criteria.

I will trust the doctors, thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I read your other thread, and what struck me is that you sound like you are expressing the mental rigidity I associate with ADHD.

If you are working on mental rigidity with your kids, this could be an opportunity to model the same.

Mental rigidity is associated with the autism spectrum (one end of which is very high-functioning). People frequently have ADHD and a form of autism. But ADHD by itself is not characterized by rigidity.

This is a fancy way of using the accusation of being on the spectrum as an insult online. Next level.

Yes, agreed. And that person is now continually derailing the thread.

[Anonymous]

Your family has competing needs -

You: this space is really important to you and needed for your mental health.
Kids: need a dedicated space in the home to work out in.

I think you should have a family meeting and brainstorm solutions. Maybe that's them using your space with strict rules on hygiene and cleanup or maybe you create another space in the house (family project). Do you have a basement OP?

[jsteele]

There is really no special needs issue here and we don't allow cross-posting.