AITA - sister's first baby

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sister is expecting her first child in the spring. I just booked a vacation for a sort of "once in a lifetime" trips for my 40th birthday two weeks after her due date. It's not on my actual bday but the most convenient time, given other engagements and weather timing concerns. My mom is really upset with me for not "being there" for my sister. My sister and I have a close relationship; I told her about the trip and she said it sounded awesome. My sister also likes her privacy so I just assumed she would not want me around so soon after birth. As reference, my sister did not meet my own child until a month after he was born. AITA?

OP, work on your boundaries. You are not responsible for your mom''s feelings about this, which don't seem very fair at all. Your mom is looking to you to regulate her emotions which is not very healthy.

You don't have to justify or explain anything to your mom as it doesn't sound like you're doing anything out of line and your sister is O.k. with it too.

Just tell your mom "It's O.K. mom I love you and I'm sure sister will be fine." That's it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not only is it fine with the peanut gallery, but it seems to be fine with your sister as well, which is the most important person.

One of the problems with first babies is that everyone, especially grandparents, always want to visit as soon as possible, right when the new Mom is trying to recover from the hospital experience (if needed), get used to new sleep patterns, try to bond with the baby, etc. The new parents need that first month or two to get used to their new normal and the extended family are fighting to meet the new grandchild as soon as possible. So, tell you sister when you getting back from your once in a lifetime vacation and ask when it is convenient for her that you come by and visit and help out. So many want to visit in the first month or two, but, often having a visitor, especially a helper, is easier after the dust settles from the initial homecoming for the baby.

I'm a member of a multiples club (twins, triplets, etc) and our Sunshine committee arranges for members to make meals for new parents at their convenience. I've made meals for at least a half dozen families and most of the time the requests come in for 4-8 months after birth.

WTH does a family need meals delivered 4-8 months after a baby is born? That’s ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Enjoy your trip and ignore your mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only A in your case is your mom.

This. End thread.

+1

[Anonymous]

My sisters planned a once in a lifetime trip to Vietnam and Thailand. I was 35 weeks pregnant and was so sad to miss the trip and would have loved it, but obviously I could not go and they should get to go (one sister was working for State and was there, and so it made sense for the timing for the other sister to go then to visit). I had no expectation that people would put their lives on hold for me. It is totally fine for you to live your life.

[Anonymous]

NTA

2 weeks after her due date? Even if she's late you'll have plenty of time to meet the kid and do something nice for your sister if needed (help set up a nursery or pick up some groceries etc). And she didn't push back at all. Your mom's opinion doesn't matter here.

[Anonymous]

Your sister said, have fun? Follow her advice.