Masturbation/normal sexual exploration among toddlers/preschoolers

Anonymous
My 14 mo old hates having his diaper changed (god forbid he should have to be still for more than 2 seconds!) and as soon as the diaper comes off he's got his hands on his penis. I don't mind.. I just wish he'd wait till I got him cleaned up. I knew it was coming tho. My MIL told me while I was pregnant that DH used to do it all the time. Once when he was around 3 they put him to bed and all was quiet. Then next thing they heard was:

"I'm playing with my penis! And it feels GOOD!"
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Masturbation is normal for anyone IMO. Heck, I masturbate on a regular basis...


Yes, but probably not on the living room floor in front of guests!
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Masturbation is normal for anyone IMO. Heck, I masturbate on a regular basis...


Yes, but probably not on the living room floor in front of guests!


No not in front of guest. My 3yo will come up and grind himself on my leg, his pillow or what ever else he can get a hold of. My other 2 did the pillow thing. I don't know what happened though, but when they got about 4 they grew out of it.
Anonymous
I was so glad to find this forum. I am a single mom and I was so worried that my 3 year old was being abused. Even though there are obiously no other signs. I honestly thought he could not do this on his own i thought he had seen someone do this.
Anonymous
I have a 4yr old boy who has told his female cousin to pull down her pants. He touched her and told her not to tell anyone. What does this mean? He has had a sexual encounter about 6 months ago with an 8yr old boy but m son said no and wouldnt do as he asked him to. There has been no sexual behavior since this and im so worried. He goes to preschool and swimming lessons...otherwise he's only with aunts, grandparents or parents. i dont know what to do about this?
Anonymous
totally normal -
We just told our daughter that it was private - for her room - and then didn't make a big deal of it. What your kid is doing is not excessive.

Anonymous
My four year old won't do it in private - she just giggles and keeps on doing it. It seems to be the only way she can fall asleep. I just ignore it.
Anonymous
as soon as I take the diapers off our 2yo girl rushes her hands down there.
she giggles and almost pinches her clits.
she walks around the house with a banana toy between her legs. we crack up laughing at her.

not a big deal for us. hopefully she'll grow out of it.
Anonymous
I was a nanny for a family and their 6yo would rub her privates against the corner of the side table.
It was sooooooooooo funny.
She loved ridding her bike and would on purpose go over and over the bumpy part of the driveway because she said it would her privates tickle.

Lol
Anonymous
Yep, it's normal. In a younger child, ignore it. In a child old enough to start learning about polite behavior, genital privacy, etc. you tell them "if you want to play with your privates, can you please do it IN private. It's not appropriate to do it in front of others".

As an aside, I had a sonographer tell me once that she can always tell the boys from the girls, regardless of whether she gets a good picture of the genitals. Because the boy babies ALWAYS have their hands between their legs!
Anonymous
Also important...this is a good time to let kids know WHO is allowed to touch them. My DD and I talk about that she can touch her vagina, mommy and daddy can help clean it, but NO ONE else can touch her privates. And she has FIVE people she can tell if she feels that someone has crossed a line.
Anonymous
My 14-month-old has already started with this. I thought it seemed early, but at least one other poster mentioned their child was the same age...

What does concern me is how rough she is with herself. I take her hand and tell her "gentle", same as when she pets the cat too hard, or grabs at my face. But is it possible that she could hurt herself inadvertently? I'm especially worried about urinary tract infections; could she introduce enough dirt/ germs to the urethra area to cause a UTI?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:My 14-month-old has already started with this. I thought it seemed early, but at least one other poster mentioned their child was the same age...

What does concern me is how rough she is with herself. I take her hand and tell her "gentle", same as when she pets the cat too hard, or grabs at my face. But is it possible that she could hurt herself inadvertently? I'm especially worried about urinary tract infections; could she introduce enough dirt/ germs to the urethra area to cause a UTI?


My DS is almost 5 and the way he handles himself, I think his penis is gonna break off sometimes! I also usually say the "that's private behavior" line. But, sometimes when I see him pull, push, etc., I just want to say, "ouch! Take it easy!" but of course I just say, "be gentle with that part." I really don't think he can hurt himself.
Anonymous
My 2 1/2 year old daughter has started "rocking" on top of her mom. I see that it is normal for a toddler to do this type of thing, but she tells my wife "don't look at me" and "turn your head." She only does this with her mom. When questioned, she says it tickles and that her daycare provider tickles her that way. I know the rocking is normal, but the other stuff really seems like something an adult would have to say to her in a similar situation.
Anonymous
"My DS is almost 5 and the way he handles himself, I think his penis is gonna break off sometimes! I also usually say the "that's private behavior" line. But, sometimes when I see him pull, push, etc., I just want to say, "ouch! Take it easy!" but of course I just say, "be gentle with that part." I really don't think he can hurt himself."

I have a 2 yo son and 5 yo son, and this made me laugh. I used to worry about my eldest -- he'll wrap it around a finger. Ouch! But I figure he'd stop if it hurt.

I'm glad to hear that some kids do this to relieve anxiety, because my 5 yo is quite anxious. He grabs himself through his pants sometimes. I think he isn't fully conscious of what he's doing -- it's a habit like twiddling thumbs. We've had to have the "only in private" discussion a number of times, and it hasn't fully sunk in yet.
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