So my daughter was suspended for surfing skin care websites at school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Didn't you have to sign a technology use agreement that school devices are for school work only or something to that effect? Why is she surfing the web on the school computer? Pimple popping doesn't sound like it's related to school work. She broke the rules.

Read the op. She was allowed to surf the web when she finished her work.

But not without restrictions. Hence the problem.

But she wasn't searching anything inappropriate. Sometime you search totally benign things and inappropriate content comes up. This is why they have filters.
I hate that MCPS tech people stink because they didn't filter that content and now the blame falls on a poor girl who was trying to figure out what to do about her breakouts? Does anyone else seel the craziness of this situation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This does sound ridiculous, but just weighing in to say I would NOT contest it if your DD has asked you not to.

Disagree. Daughter has anxiety and is looking to avoid conflict. I don’t think she understands the ramifications of this on her record. OP needs to be the parent, override her child and object formally to the school.

[Anonymous]

Thanks so much for these views. (OP here). Daughter insisted that I not contest the suspension --she WAS on the school's computer, after all. Good thing she wasn't looking at pumpkin carving techniques! I know the school has to be vigilant and in a meeting we had with the counselor, the counselor was adamant and defensive. I'm going to complain to our educational advocate who recommended this school. She is influential and has an informed perspective. I thought this kind of school would be kind and understanding and supportive. HAHAHAHAHA.
They don't know what to do, so they suspend to show that they've done SOMETHING. My child learned a good lesson: Always surf on your phone.

[Anonymous]

Don't use school computers for personal use. That is the rule. Adults learn this the hard way, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This does sound ridiculous, but just weighing in to say I would NOT contest it if your DD has asked you not to.

Disagree. Daughter has anxiety and is looking to avoid conflict. I don’t think she understands the ramifications of this on her record. OP needs to be the parent, override her child and object formally to the school.

+1
Please, formally object. If the school brushed you off, and you can afford it, getting a lawyer will insure the school is extra sure before doing this next time.
My child is at a VA high school where a few years ago a kid was surfing the web and looking at paintball guns. Another kid spoke up, scared it was a real gun. Administration talked to the paintball gun shopper, and nothing happened. Not sure how I feel about it.
If it was truly innocent, speak up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you worried about 10 suspensions? This is just 1 and she's 17 so probably in her last year. How many other suspensions has she had?

This is also the part that jumped out at me. Clearly other things ongoing if she’s even close to 10.

[Anonymous]

If this counselor has an anger management problem (and you DD may be correct to suspect this), then after you contest the suspension you could talk to the Principal or Vice Principal about having DD removed from the counseling program. Then the VP would provide counseling, if necessary.

[Anonymous]

Schools are so dumb, it's amazing. I personally would contest it to teach the counselor not to be stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Schools are so dumb, it's amazing. I personally would contest it to teach the counselor not to be stupid.

But you’re missing that the teacher reported it becaise the teacher was concerned. This is not just a counselor gone astray.

[Anonymous]

I’m a school counselor. We don’t suspend. We keep counseling and consequences separate, otherwise who would talk to the counselor if they need emotional support? The school has bigger problems than your daughter if they counselor is imposing punishments.

[Anonymous]

Why is this even in the special needs forum? I don't think anxiety and ADD were responsible for the surfing mistake.

And the anxious reaction sounds typical of a teen who made a boneheaded mistake and just got suspended.

Do what you think you need to do but don't relate it to your DD's disability.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have told my anxious, ADD-afflicted daughter not to use her phone at school. Just put it away....So when she finished her work early, she was allowed to surf the web. She likes skin care (pimple popper, anyone?) and scalpels came up. Teacher saw this and noted it could be used as a weapon.
Counselor called, my DD, age 17, was suspended. If she'd surfed on her phone, as some other students were doing during this downtime, there would have been no problem. But using the school's computer "to search for weapons" is forbidden.
I'd really hoped this school would have more emotional support and flexibility when it came to enforcing these rules. Of course they have to be vigilant, but my DD has no history of violence; she explained what she doing, but the clincher was that she was doing it on the school computer.
I don't think a student learns much from being suspended for a day, except to use her phone and to be wary of the school's counselor, who I think is quick to suspend students.
I'm upset. DD was out with covid for a week and was just catching up. Now she's behind again, and discouraged and a bit afraid. So am I. Ten suspensions and she would have to leave the school. I chose not to contest the suspension because it would just anger the counselor, who might retaliate, and my DD was using the school's computer.
Silver linings: Her day off was beautiful and she used it well, spent a lot of time outside.
It's only the counselor who is this nuts. The other teachers (so far) seem reasonable and kind.

I would see if the word scalpel is used in biology courses and if so, file a civil rights suit

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is this even in the special needs forum? I don't think anxiety and ADD were responsible for the surfing mistake.

And the anxious reaction sounds typical of a teen who made a boneheaded mistake and just got suspended.

Do what you think you need to do but don't relate it to your DD's disability.

Because this thread will give the daughter a pass and a million excuses why the school is wrong just like every other post on here. Rules don't apply and those who try to reinforce them or implement consequences are always wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You all are nuts. She was looking at inappropriate websites (per school policy) using school devices. They learn this is a "no no" in elementary school.

+1 I see no problem with the result - at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is this even in the special needs forum? I don't think anxiety and ADD were responsible for the surfing mistake.

And the anxious reaction sounds typical of a teen who made a boneheaded mistake and just got suspended.

Do what you think you need to do but don't relate it to your DD's disability.

It's hard to tell as a stranger only hearing some details whether the incident was a manifestation of her disability or not. Kids with ADHD tend to do more impulsive and hence sometimes stupid things than other kids due to to lack of restraint. In my child's elementary the kids who are getting in trouble for computer use are often kids with ADHD. I realize OP's child is 17 but it could still apply. I don't think any of us know enough to judge.