Reflections on the application process after six weeks of K

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let me give some advice as a parent of teenagers: where your kid goes to elementary school really does not matter.

so true!

This, for so many kids.

I will also add as a parent of multiple teenagers (who has seen both public and private and spent years in the thick of all the application nonsense) that sometimes what you thought you wanted changes and you end up going to public for HS at one of the many great options in the DMV area, and then kick yourself for thinking private was so much better in the first place. No school around here is perfect. Kids change from age 5 to age 15, a lot. Of course no one knows what they have not experienced for themselves, but for so many kids with the means to pay for private school, what school they go to will have little effect of future outcomes, learning or happiness; family situation and involvement matters much more. And don't be fooled into thinking that a "exceptionally smart" kid will do better in private. Not usually the case for most schools in this area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here’s a real mindf&$ck: when all of this is over your child is going to inhabit the same colleges and jobs and communities as kids who just sidled up to the local public kindergarten.

It’s nice that you will have a bespoke experience, but it’s more about you than about your child.

No it’s not. If it’s about me and not my kids, I would not be paying nearly $100k a year for 2 privates. And I know full well that my kids will be “sidled up” as you say next to public school kids when they are off to college. I also know that my kids would be miserable (as I was in public schools) to be warehoused in an overcrowded school with overstretched teachers who barely know you, getting haphazard education and floating through grades like a ghost without any real mindful learning. But if you think that private education is a real mindf*ck, you go with that if that makes you feel better about your choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here’s a real mindf&$ck: when all of this is over your child is going to inhabit the same colleges and jobs and communities as kids who just sidled up to the local public kindergarten.

It’s nice that you will have a bespoke experience, but it’s more about you than about your child.

No it’s not. If it’s about me and not my kids, I would not be paying nearly $100k a year for 2 privates. And I know full well that my kids will be “sidled up” as you say next to public school kids when they are off to college. I also know that my kids would be miserable (as I was in public schools) to be warehoused in an overcrowded school with overstretched teachers who barely know you, getting haphazard education and floating through grades like a ghost without any real mindful learning. But if you think that private education is a real mindf*ck, you go with that if that makes you feel better about your choices.

wow. you really believe this? My kids were in DCPS and are now doing extremely well at STA and NCS. They're great writers, they're in the top math classes, they think critically. All of this learned in (gasp) public school. While in public they were always in classes of under 20.
It's baffling to me that you think that kids are not learning anything in public school. I'm here to say that my kids learned just as much as they would have at Beauvoir. In fact, they have leapt right over many if not most of the Beauvoir kids. I get that paying $100K is hard (I pay it too)
but it's really not the only way to learn--especially in the early years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here’s a real mindf&$ck: when all of this is over your child is going to inhabit the same colleges and jobs and communities as kids who just sidled up to the local public kindergarten.

It’s nice that you will have a bespoke experience, but it’s more about you than about your child.

No it’s not. If it’s about me and not my kids, I would not be paying nearly $100k a year for 2 privates. And I know full well that my kids will be “sidled up” as you say next to public school kids when they are off to college. I also know that my kids would be miserable (as I was in public schools) to be warehoused in an overcrowded school with overstretched teachers who barely know you, getting haphazard education and floating through grades like a ghost without any real mindful learning. But if you think that private education is a real mindf*ck, you go with that if that makes you feel better about your choices.

wow. you really believe this? My kids were in DCPS and are now doing extremely well at STA and NCS. They're great writers, they're in the top math classes, they think critically. All of this learned in (gasp) public school. While in public they were always in classes of under 20.
It's baffling to me that you think that kids are not learning anything in public school. I'm here to say that my kids learned just as much as they would have at Beauvoir. In fact, they have leapt right over many if not most of the Beauvoir kids. I get that paying $100K is hard (I pay it too)
but it's really not the only way to learn--especially in the early years.

Your experience doesn’t line up with the local Montgomery county school we are zoned for (seriously, what DMV public now days has class size less than 20?!). Our elementary school was packed to the hilt and the principal told us that overcrowding was only going to get worse.

Look, public education, even with class size 30+ can be great. I was educated overseas where class size was closer to 50. I learned a lot. It was a great education. But public education that I experienced here in the States? No way.

And, for the record, I didn’t say you don’t learn anything in public schools. Let’s not be hyperbolic. But compare to the more thoughtful education I pay for my kids to experience? Nope. Of course YMMV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here’s a real mindf&$ck: when all of this is over your child is going to inhabit the same colleges and jobs and communities as kids who just sidled up to the local public kindergarten.

It’s nice that you will have a bespoke experience, but it’s more about you than about your child.

No it’s not. If it’s about me and not my kids, I would not be paying nearly $100k a year for 2 privates. And I know full well that my kids will be “sidled up” as you say next to public school kids when they are off to college. I also know that my kids would be miserable (as I was in public schools) to be warehoused in an overcrowded school with overstretched teachers who barely know you, getting haphazard education and floating through grades like a ghost without any real mindful learning. But if you think that private education is a real mindf*ck, you go with that if that makes you feel better about your choices.

wow. you really believe this? My kids were in DCPS and are now doing extremely well at STA and NCS. They're great writers, they're in the top math classes, they think critically. All of this learned in (gasp) public school. While in public they were always in classes of under 20.
It's baffling to me that you think that kids are not learning anything in public school. I'm here to say that my kids learned just as much as they would have at Beauvoir. In fact, they have leapt right over many if not most of the Beauvoir kids. I get that paying $100K is hard (I pay it too)
but it's really not the only way to learn--especially in the early years.

Your experience doesn’t line up with the local Montgomery county school we are zoned for (seriously, what DMV public now days has class size less than 20?!). Our elementary school was packed to the hilt and the principal told us that overcrowding was only going to get worse.

Look, public education, even with class size 30+ can be great. I was educated overseas where class size was closer to 50. I learned a lot. It was a great education. But public education that I experienced here in the States? No way.

And, for the record, I didn’t say you don’t learn anything in public schools. Let’s not be hyperbolic. But compare to the more thoughtful education I pay for my kids to experience? Nope. Of course YMMV.

Yep. This. My child did very well in MCPS but is simply flourishing with the attention and opportunities at her private. Also, if you want your kids to play sports, do debate, be in plays, sing, yearbook, do poetry, math, art competitions - the competition to do these things at huge huge schools is so great many kids don’t even get a chance. With much smaller classes there are more opportunities. There are also countless more opportunities to do fellowships, get involved in music, language programs, etc and what have you. It is, indeed, a bespoke experience for the child. Sorry if that makes you feel all angry pants. But that’s what most of us are paying for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let me give some advice as a parent of teenagers: where your kid goes to elementary school really does not matter.

so true!

This, for so many kids.

I will also add as a parent of multiple teenagers (who has seen both public and private and spent years in the thick of all the application nonsense) that sometimes what you thought you wanted changes and you end up going to public for HS at one of the many great options in the DMV area, and then kick yourself for thinking private was so much better in the first place. No school around here is perfect. Kids change from age 5 to age 15, a lot. Of course no one knows what they have not experienced for themselves, but for so many kids with the means to pay for private school, what school they go to will have little effect of future outcomes, learning or happiness; family situation and involvement matters much more. And don't be fooled into thinking that a "exceptionally smart" kid will do better in private. Not usually the case for most schools in this area.

It’s not the ‘exceptionally bright’ kids who do better in private, it’s the above average kids that do.

Exceptional kids are best suited for public schools in the DMV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here’s a real mindf&$ck: when all of this is over your child is going to inhabit the same colleges and jobs and communities as kids who just sidled up to the local public kindergarten.

It’s nice that you will have a bespoke experience, but it’s more about you than about your child.

No it’s not. If it’s about me and not my kids, I would not be paying nearly $100k a year for 2 privates. And I know full well that my kids will be “sidled up” as you say next to public school kids when they are off to college. I also know that my kids would be miserable (as I was in public schools) to be warehoused in an overcrowded school with overstretched teachers who barely know you, getting haphazard education and floating through grades like a ghost without any real mindful learning. But if you think that private education is a real mindf*ck, you go with that if that makes you feel better about your choices.

I’m sorry you had this experience. As a public school graduate, whose kids currently attend public as well, I can say that this has not been our experience at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let me give some advice as a parent of teenagers: where your kid goes to elementary school really does not matter.

so true!

This, for so many kids.

I will also add as a parent of multiple teenagers (who has seen both public and private and spent years in the thick of all the application nonsense) that sometimes what you thought you wanted changes and you end up going to public for HS at one of the many great options in the DMV area, and then kick yourself for thinking private was so much better in the first place. No school around here is perfect. Kids change from age 5 to age 15, a lot. Of course no one knows what they have not experienced for themselves, but for so many kids with the means to pay for private school, what school they go to will have little effect of future outcomes, learning or happiness; family situation and involvement matters much more. And don't be fooled into thinking that a "exceptionally smart" kid will do better in private. Not usually the case for most schools in this area.

It’s not the ‘exceptionally bright’ kids who do better in private, it’s the above average kids that do.

Exceptional kids are best suited for public schools in the DMV.

They’re not “best suited” they just don’t get moved because their parents decide it doesn’t make sense to move them. That doesn’t mean they wouldn’t benefit from the opportunities and support at private schools for exceptional children. There are no control children here. There’s no way to know if a bright non exceptional child is better off in private or public, but, there is some support for the idea that maximizing opportunities and attention can benefit. As for truly exceptional children, well, they’re exceptional. Not much point in worrying about how one kid out of thousands will fare best for most of us, is there. One assumes they will do well regardless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here’s a real mindf&$ck: when all of this is over your child is going to inhabit the same colleges and jobs and communities as kids who just sidled up to the local public kindergarten.

It’s nice that you will have a bespoke experience, but it’s more about you than about your child.

No it’s not. If it’s about me and not my kids, I would not be paying nearly $100k a year for 2 privates. And I know full well that my kids will be “sidled up” as you say next to public school kids when they are off to college. I also know that my kids would be miserable (as I was in public schools) to be warehoused in an overcrowded school with overstretched teachers who barely know you, getting haphazard education and floating through grades like a ghost without any real mindful learning. But if you think that private education is a real mindf*ck, you go with that if that makes you feel better about your choices.

wow. you really believe this? My kids were in DCPS and are now doing extremely well at STA and NCS. They're great writers, they're in the top math classes, they think critically. All of this learned in (gasp) public school. While in public they were always in classes of under 20.
It's baffling to me that you think that kids are not learning anything in public school. I'm here to say that my kids learned just as much as they would have at Beauvoir. In fact, they have leapt right over many if not most of the Beauvoir kids. I get that paying $100K is hard (I pay it too)
but it's really not the only way to learn--especially in the early years.

Your experience doesn’t line up with the local Montgomery county school we are zoned for (seriously, what DMV public now days has class size less than 20?!). Our elementary school was packed to the hilt and the principal told us that overcrowding was only going to get worse.

Look, public education, even with class size 30+ can be great. I was educated overseas where class size was closer to 50. I learned a lot. It was a great education. But public education that I experienced here in the States? No way.

And, for the record, I didn’t say you don’t learn anything in public schools. Let’s not be hyperbolic. But compare to the more thoughtful education I pay for my kids to experience? Nope. Of course YMMV.

Yep. This. My child did very well in MCPS but is simply flourishing with the attention and opportunities at her private. Also, if you want your kids to play sports, do debate, be in plays, sing, yearbook, do poetry, math, art competitions - the competition to do these things at huge huge schools is so great many kids don’t even get a chance. With much smaller classes there are more opportunities. There are also countless more opportunities to do fellowships, get involved in music, language programs, etc and what have you. It is, indeed, a bespoke experience for the child. Sorry if that makes you feel all angry pants. But that’s what most of us are paying for.

My kids did debate, musicals, Math counts and sports in public elementary and middle school and then were accepted to multiple Big3 high schools (Sidwelll, Potomac, STA/NCS, etc).

I'm sorry your kid is mediocre enough that he/she didn't stand out in public. By all means pay $50K a year to have his/her average hands held. But please don't spread lies about public. I know many kids who thrived in public who then either left for a Big3 for high school or an elite college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here’s a real mindf&$ck: when all of this is over your child is going to inhabit the same colleges and jobs and communities as kids who just sidled up to the local public kindergarten.

It’s nice that you will have a bespoke experience, but it’s more about you than about your child.

No it’s not. If it’s about me and not my kids, I would not be paying nearly $100k a year for 2 privates. And I know full well that my kids will be “sidled up” as you say next to public school kids when they are off to college. I also know that my kids would be miserable (as I was in public schools) to be warehoused in an overcrowded school with overstretched teachers who barely know you, getting haphazard education and floating through grades like a ghost without any real mindful learning. But if you think that private education is a real mindf*ck, you go with that if that makes you feel better about your choices.

wow. you really believe this? My kids were in DCPS and are now doing extremely well at STA and NCS. They're great writers, they're in the top math classes, they think critically. All of this learned in (gasp) public school. While in public they were always in classes of under 20.
It's baffling to me that you think that kids are not learning anything in public school. I'm here to say that my kids learned just as much as they would have at Beauvoir. In fact, they have leapt right over many if not most of the Beauvoir kids. I get that paying $100K is hard (I pay it too)
but it's really not the only way to learn--especially in the early years.

Your experience doesn’t line up with the local Montgomery county school we are zoned for (seriously, what DMV public now days has class size less than 20?!). Our elementary school was packed to the hilt and the principal told us that overcrowding was only going to get worse.

Look, public education, even with class size 30+ can be great. I was educated overseas where class size was closer to 50. I learned a lot. It was a great education. But public education that I experienced here in the States? No way.

And, for the record, I didn’t say you don’t learn anything in public schools. Let’s not be hyperbolic. But compare to the more thoughtful education I pay for my kids to experience? Nope. Of course YMMV.

Yep. This. My child did very well in MCPS but is simply flourishing with the attention and opportunities at her private. Also, if you want your kids to play sports, do debate, be in plays, sing, yearbook, do poetry, math, art competitions - the competition to do these things at huge huge schools is so great many kids don’t even get a chance. With much smaller classes there are more opportunities. There are also countless more opportunities to do fellowships, get involved in music, language programs, etc and what have you. It is, indeed, a bespoke experience for the child. Sorry if that makes you feel all angry pants. But that’s what most of us are paying for.

My kids did debate, musicals, Math counts and sports in public elementary and middle school and then were accepted to multiple Big3 high schools (Sidwelll, Potomac, STA/NCS, etc).

I'm sorry your kid is mediocre enough that he/she didn't stand out in public. By all means pay $50K a year to have his/her average hands held. But please don't spread lies about public. I know many kids who thrived in public who then either left for a Big3 for high school or an elite college.

Shaming others for starting private school before your kid did or for having a different experience in school as you did is peak dcum

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here’s a real mindf&$ck: when all of this is over your child is going to inhabit the same colleges and jobs and communities as kids who just sidled up to the local public kindergarten.

It’s nice that you will have a bespoke experience, but it’s more about you than about your child.

No it’s not. If it’s about me and not my kids, I would not be paying nearly $100k a year for 2 privates. And I know full well that my kids will be “sidled up” as you say next to public school kids when they are off to college. I also know that my kids would be miserable (as I was in public schools) to be warehoused in an overcrowded school with overstretched teachers who barely know you, getting haphazard education and floating through grades like a ghost without any real mindful learning. But if you think that private education is a real mindf*ck, you go with that if that makes you feel better about your choices.

wow. you really believe this? My kids were in DCPS and are now doing extremely well at STA and NCS. They're great writers, they're in the top math classes, they think critically. All of this learned in (gasp) public school. While in public they were always in classes of under 20.
It's baffling to me that you think that kids are not learning anything in public school. I'm here to say that my kids learned just as much as they would have at Beauvoir. In fact, they have leapt right over many if not most of the Beauvoir kids. I get that paying $100K is hard (I pay it too)
but it's really not the only way to learn--especially in the early years.

Your experience doesn’t line up with the local Montgomery county school we are zoned for (seriously, what DMV public now days has class size less than 20?!). Our elementary school was packed to the hilt and the principal told us that overcrowding was only going to get worse.

Look, public education, even with class size 30+ can be great. I was educated overseas where class size was closer to 50. I learned a lot. It was a great education. But public education that I experienced here in the States? No way.

And, for the record, I didn’t say you don’t learn anything in public schools. Let’s not be hyperbolic. But compare to the more thoughtful education I pay for my kids to experience? Nope. Of course YMMV.

Yep. This. My child did very well in MCPS but is simply flourishing with the attention and opportunities at her private. Also, if you want your kids to play sports, do debate, be in plays, sing, yearbook, do poetry, math, art competitions - the competition to do these things at huge huge schools is so great many kids don’t even get a chance. With much smaller classes there are more opportunities. There are also countless more opportunities to do fellowships, get involved in music, language programs, etc and what have you. It is, indeed, a bespoke experience for the child. Sorry if that makes you feel all angry pants. But that’s what most of us are paying for.

My kids did debate, musicals, Math counts and sports in public elementary and middle school and then were accepted to multiple Big3 high schools (Sidwelll, Potomac, STA/NCS, etc).

I'm sorry your kid is mediocre enough that he/she didn't stand out in public. By all means pay $50K a year to have his/her average hands held. But please don't spread lies about public. I know many kids who thrived in public who then either left for a Big3 for high school or an elite college.

NP.... this response is nonsensical. Why are you applying to private schools if you feel so passionately about public schools? By your account, your children were thriving at public schools and you know plenty of others who did the same and went on to elite colleges. Why mess with the formula? Trying to understand... unless you were just applying to prove a point?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here’s a real mindf&$ck: when all of this is over your child is going to inhabit the same colleges and jobs and communities as kids who just sidled up to the local public kindergarten.

It’s nice that you will have a bespoke experience, but it’s more about you than about your child.

No it’s not. If it’s about me and not my kids, I would not be paying nearly $100k a year for 2 privates. And I know full well that my kids will be “sidled up” as you say next to public school kids when they are off to college. I also know that my kids would be miserable (as I was in public schools) to be warehoused in an overcrowded school with overstretched teachers who barely know you, getting haphazard education and floating through grades like a ghost without any real mindful learning. But if you think that private education is a real mindf*ck, you go with that if that makes you feel better about your choices.

wow. you really believe this? My kids were in DCPS and are now doing extremely well at STA and NCS. They're great writers, they're in the top math classes, they think critically. All of this learned in (gasp) public school. While in public they were always in classes of under 20.
It's baffling to me that you think that kids are not learning anything in public school. I'm here to say that my kids learned just as much as they would have at Beauvoir. In fact, they have leapt right over many if not most of the Beauvoir kids. I get that paying $100K is hard (I pay it too)
but it's really not the only way to learn--especially in the early years.

Your experience doesn’t line up with the local Montgomery county school we are zoned for (seriously, what DMV public now days has class size less than 20?!). Our elementary school was packed to the hilt and the principal told us that overcrowding was only going to get worse.

Look, public education, even with class size 30+ can be great. I was educated overseas where class size was closer to 50. I learned a lot. It was a great education. But public education that I experienced here in the States? No way.

And, for the record, I didn’t say you don’t learn anything in public schools. Let’s not be hyperbolic. But compare to the more thoughtful education I pay for my kids to experience? Nope. Of course YMMV.

Yep. This. My child did very well in MCPS but is simply flourishing with the attention and opportunities at her private. Also, if you want your kids to play sports, do debate, be in plays, sing, yearbook, do poetry, math, art competitions - the competition to do these things at huge huge schools is so great many kids don’t even get a chance. With much smaller classes there are more opportunities. There are also countless more opportunities to do fellowships, get involved in music, language programs, etc and what have you. It is, indeed, a bespoke experience for the child. Sorry if that makes you feel all angry pants. But that’s what most of us are paying for.

My kids did debate, musicals, Math counts and sports in public elementary and middle school and then were accepted to multiple Big3 high schools (Sidwelll, Potomac, STA/NCS, etc).

I'm sorry your kid is mediocre enough that he/she didn't stand out in public. By all means pay $50K a year to have his/her average hands held. But please don't spread lies about public. I know many kids who thrived in public who then either left for a Big3 for high school or an elite college.

NP.... this response is nonsensical. Why are you applying to private schools if you feel so passionately about public schools? By your account, your children were thriving at public schools and you know plenty of others who did the same and went on to elite colleges. Why mess with the formula? Trying to understand... unless you were just applying to prove a point?

Seriously, what are you even babbling about??? I’m talking about at a high school level obviously dimwit. Most sports played at high school aren’t even available in middle school at many schools like volleyball or baseball, for example. Debate at the high school level. SGA at the high school level. And, spread lies? Wtf? There are by math, which is pretty universal, fewer options for participation in public given the number of slots and the number of students. That’s just indisputable. And what’s with the insults? How would I know if my child is too mediocre if they started private earlier? You are a total whacko with some kind of off chip on your shoulder that nobody really understands or appreciates. Quit being such a weirdo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here’s a real mindf&$ck: when all of this is over your child is going to inhabit the same colleges and jobs and communities as kids who just sidled up to the local public kindergarten.

It’s nice that you will have a bespoke experience, but it’s more about you than about your child.

No it’s not. If it’s about me and not my kids, I would not be paying nearly $100k a year for 2 privates. And I know full well that my kids will be “sidled up” as you say next to public school kids when they are off to college. I also know that my kids would be miserable (as I was in public schools) to be warehoused in an overcrowded school with overstretched teachers who barely know you, getting haphazard education and floating through grades like a ghost without any real mindful learning. But if you think that private education is a real mindf*ck, you go with that if that makes you feel better about your choices.

wow. you really believe this? My kids were in DCPS and are now doing extremely well at STA and NCS. They're great writers, they're in the top math classes, they think critically. All of this learned in (gasp) public school. While in public they were always in classes of under 20.
It's baffling to me that you think that kids are not learning anything in public school. I'm here to say that my kids learned just as much as they would have at Beauvoir. In fact, they have leapt right over many if not most of the Beauvoir kids. I get that paying $100K is hard (I pay it too)
but it's really not the only way to learn--especially in the early years.

It really depends on the school, the teachers and the family and what they do at home.
I think there can be a lot of value in small classes in a nurturing private for the early years and then you can always switch to public for HS if you are zoned for a good one, or stay with private. So many options out there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are six weeks into Kindergarten at a wonderful local independent school. I've been thinking a lot about the experience of the application process now that we are settling in and wanted to share some reflections for those who are starting the process now.

- We found the school that is right for our kid, but wouldn't have ended up here if we got into other schools we thought we liked more. We decided to apply to only the three schools we were most excited about. We were waitlisted at two and accepted at the third, where DD is attending. We wouldn't have applied if we didn't think it was a wonderful place, but at the time admissions decisions were communicated, we were disappointed.

- Generally speaking, I'm a pretty level-headed person and don't get swept up by a lot of the BS in this city. I entered the admissions process thinking I'd stay cool as a cucumber but I found the K admissions process to be a real mindf*ck. Our DD attended a local private preschool that is wonderful but also one of the "feeders" to the private schools, which means that in the spring of your kiddo's final year, you find yourself in the middle of a sea of competitive and anxious parents, most trying to get their kids into the top private school, surely envisioning how that will lead to a future ivy school acceptance. I saw it all happening and could diagnose it -- feeling gross to be in the midst of it -- and it STILL messed with my head. Looking back, it's clear that my disappointment about where DD did and didn't get in was far more about what this group of parents thought of as the top schools as opposed to which school stood out to our family as the best fit for DD. I'm not proud to admit that but it's true. I remember coming home from a school event in tears because of the sympathetic look I got from another parent when I told her where DD was attending. So messed up - both that she reacted that way and that I cared!

- Thankfully, things worked out and DD is at a school that is wonderful for her. It's been a natural transition and she is developing a genuine love of learning. We are seeing her blossom and so far the experience is all we hoped for. But i am reminded that we wouldn't be here if we got in elsewhere and we'd allowed ourselves to be swayed by other's opinions.

So, this is a cautionary tale but one that ultimately worked out great for us. As you head into this process, please stay focused on what matters. What is the school that is the best fit for YOUR child at THIS time? This is SUCH an obvious statement and yet I find that this is not how most parents seem to choose the schools for their kids. And it's a trap that I fell into myself!!

Would you rather choose a school where people will "ooh" and "aah" that your kid is at the same place some Presidents' kids went (which may be a great school but probably isn't the RIGHT school for all the kids whose parents are fighting to get them in), or the school where YOUR child will blossom? So grateful that life worked out as it should for us - despite what I might have chosen if all the options were available to us.

Sorry that this thread, like everything else on this site, devolved into a petty argument. I'm just starting to look at preschools for my first child and find the whole process of applying to preschool to be baffling and overwhelming. I can easily see how parents who want to remain chill can get caught up in it. I really appreciate your perspective. Thank you for sharing it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are six weeks into Kindergarten at a wonderful local independent school. I've been thinking a lot about the experience of the application process now that we are settling in and wanted to share some reflections for those who are starting the process now.

- We found the school that is right for our kid, but wouldn't have ended up here if we got into other schools we thought we liked more. We decided to apply to only the three schools we were most excited about. We were waitlisted at two and accepted at the third, where DD is attending. We wouldn't have applied if we didn't think it was a wonderful place, but at the time admissions decisions were communicated, we were disappointed.

- Generally speaking, I'm a pretty level-headed person and don't get swept up by a lot of the BS in this city. I entered the admissions process thinking I'd stay cool as a cucumber but I found the K admissions process to be a real mindf*ck. Our DD attended a local private preschool that is wonderful but also one of the "feeders" to the private schools, which means that in the spring of your kiddo's final year, you find yourself in the middle of a sea of competitive and anxious parents, most trying to get their kids into the top private school, surely envisioning how that will lead to a future ivy school acceptance. I saw it all happening and could diagnose it -- feeling gross to be in the midst of it -- and it STILL messed with my head. Looking back, it's clear that my disappointment about where DD did and didn't get in was far more about what this group of parents thought of as the top schools as opposed to which school stood out to our family as the best fit for DD. I'm not proud to admit that but it's true. I remember coming home from a school event in tears because of the sympathetic look I got from another parent when I told her where DD was attending. So messed up - both that she reacted that way and that I cared!

- Thankfully, things worked out and DD is at a school that is wonderful for her. It's been a natural transition and she is developing a genuine love of learning. We are seeing her blossom and so far the experience is all we hoped for. But i am reminded that we wouldn't be here if we got in elsewhere and we'd allowed ourselves to be swayed by other's opinions.

So, this is a cautionary tale but one that ultimately worked out great for us. As you head into this process, please stay focused on what matters. What is the school that is the best fit for YOUR child at THIS time? This is SUCH an obvious statement and yet I find that this is not how most parents seem to choose the schools for their kids. And it's a trap that I fell into myself!!

Would you rather choose a school where people will "ooh" and "aah" that your kid is at the same place some Presidents' kids went (which may be a great school but probably isn't the RIGHT school for all the kids whose parents are fighting to get them in), or the school where YOUR child will blossom? So grateful that life worked out as it should for us - despite what I might have chosen if all the options were available to us.

Sorry that this thread, like everything else on this site, devolved into a petty argument. I'm just starting to look at preschools for my first child and find the whole process of applying to preschool to be baffling and overwhelming. I can easily see how parents who want to remain chill can get caught up in it. I really appreciate your perspective. Thank you for sharing it

I could have written the post. +1.