Obsession with perfection

[Anonymous]

You can see the outlines here:


I grew up riding horses, and good horsemen (and women) have things clean and organized. It’s not because horses are happier or healthier when your stirrups are polished. It’s just because a clean, organized environment with good systems makes it easy and pleasant to do the real work and gives you the best chance at success when something goes pear-shaped. When the young horse flips out and breaks the crossties, he doesn’t step into a brush box that’s been left out and make it worse. When a horse colics at 3am, the med box is clean and organized and the lights work so you can find what you need quickly. When your at the Olympics and your noseband breaks in the schooling ring, do you know exactly where an extra one is so you can fix it quickly and move on. That sort of thing.

That’s what I’m going for in my house. Good horsemanship so that we can care for the people who live here as best we can.

[Anonymous]

It’s social media. Ppl need to chill out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can see the outlines here:


I grew up riding horses, and good horsemen (and women) have things clean and organized. It’s not because horses are happier or healthier when your stirrups are polished. It’s just because a clean, organized environment with good systems makes it easy and pleasant to do the real work and gives you the best chance at success when something goes pear-shaped. When the young horse flips out and breaks the crossties, he doesn’t step into a brush box that’s been left out and make it worse. When a horse colics at 3am, the med box is clean and organized and the lights work so you can find what you need quickly. When your at the Olympics and your noseband breaks in the schooling ring, do you know exactly where an extra one is so you can fix it quickly and move on. That sort of thing.

That’s what I’m going for in my house. Good horsemanship so that we can care for the people who live here as best we can.

As a horse person with a house that I try to keep very neat I love this post!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Clean house clean mind.
My mom kept a spotless house when I was growing up, as did her mom. Now I do. I want my kids to have a clean and clutter free environment that they're proud of.

People have way too much clutter. Its anxiety provoking.

Please start a new thread about this clean house mind. I’m about to wake up my kids, but I want to come back later and read about it!

NP - we moved recently and I had a very cluttered bathroom counter for awhile while I unpacked (much longer than I should have - several weeks). I noticed an immediate change in my mornings and attitude once I cleared it off. It really reduces my morning stress.

[Anonymous]

We are the small old house with new builds around us. Sometimes I feel this way but then I don’t care enough about HGTV house. I like history, comfort, cozy. I know my neighbors judge us but we are not close friends or peers. They have one parent at home all day and ironically they only host rarely. Our house is the one kids want to play at- huge yard, lots of toys, cheerful atmosphere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are the small old house with new builds around us. Sometimes I feel this way but then I don’t care enough about HGTV house. I like history, comfort, cozy. I know my neighbors judge us but we are not close friends or peers. They have one parent at home all day and ironically they only host rarely. Our house is the one kids want to play at- huge yard, lots of toys, cheerful atmosphere.

Your neighbors are in good company because it’s hard to imagine you could judge any harder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think overconsumption has led to the home organizing trend that has taken over social media. But less. If you need systems and containers for literally everything, you have too much stuff.

In my case is Quite the opposite. My house is clean and organized because I a minimalist (even with kids at home.) People with a lot of clutter have a hard time cleaning and organizing.

[Anonymous]

It's all for the 'gram.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are the small old house with new builds around us. Sometimes I feel this way but then I don’t care enough about HGTV house. I like history, comfort, cozy. I know my neighbors judge us but we are not close friends or peers. They have one parent at home all day and ironically they only host rarely. Our house is the one kids want to play at- huge yard, lots of toys, cheerful atmosphere.

Your neighbors are in good company because it’s hard to imagine you could judge any harder.

Touched a nerve?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's all for the 'gram.

I don't post anything on social media and I put all of my pantry stuff in clear bins and it's glorious. It's still a little messy but the clear bins help a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can see the outlines here:


I grew up riding horses, and good horsemen (and women) have things clean and organized. It’s not because horses are happier or healthier when your stirrups are polished. It’s just because a clean, organized environment with good systems makes it easy and pleasant to do the real work and gives you the best chance at success when something goes pear-shaped. When the young horse flips out and breaks the crossties, he doesn’t step into a brush box that’s been left out and make it worse. When a horse colics at 3am, the med box is clean and organized and the lights work so you can find what you need quickly. When your at the Olympics and your noseband breaks in the schooling ring, do you know exactly where an extra one is so you can fix it quickly and move on. That sort of thing.

That’s what I’m going for in my house. Good horsemanship so that we can care for the people who live here as best we can.

As a horse person with a house that I try to keep very neat I love this post!!

As a messy person who hates horses I love it too! Very inspiring.

(And I’m sorry I hate horses, I really tried hard to like them but I gave up).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How does the state of my house affect you in any way.

The state of your house or any one house doesn’t affect anyone. However, the rise in expectations of how people should live, which for some reason is primarily related to what women shoukd be doing, is terrible and it affects all of us. Somehow we are expected to maintain perfect homes, spend hours every day curating our children’s lives to perfection, while holding down meaningful jobs and making sure our families are eating healthy meals…it’s not a realistic goal. And of course some of us can buck those expectations and still feel good about ourselves, but humans are social creatures and it’s really hard to not care what what other people think because we are innately wired and socialized to care. Too many of us don’t succeed the way it seems like everyone else is and end up feeling insecure or lonely or as if they are failures.the worst part is how hard women are on each other; you can see so much of that on this board. It’s sad, really.

Really? I think there is WAAAAY less pressure to have a perfect home/children/homemaking skills than there was say, 50 years ago. When I was a kid (I was born in '71) it seemed like a lot of moms were far more concerned with cleaning and cooking than having outside interests, working, spending time with their children.

I don’t think OP was talking about cleanliness and organization exactly, more about how everything has to be new and perfect (the Floors! have to match the Furniture! which all needs to look a Certain! Way! and the Appliances! need to be five years old or newer!). It can’t just be a nice clean home with homey furnishings anymore, it has to be immaculate (except for that one room the owners throw everything into because the cleanliness is mostly a sham) and the organized spaces require bins and labels and space between the bins. I don’t think anyone understands what OP was talking about, save 8:38.

It is weird, OP, and it drives more materialism. Even if someone’s home isn’t what we’d consider “insta perfect,” how many people do you know who replace their furniture or kitchen every 3-5 years? I know more than a few and that’s full on bat spit crazy. People have this expectation that everything needs to be new all the time, and if anyone doubts it, read annnnny thread about kitchen renovations. “Can I live with these beautiful but hideous dark cherry cabinets?” “NO, OP, rip them out! You cannot be seen to live with that!! It’s OuTdAtEd!!!”

You keep saying “people feel” this or that but we’re telling you that people DON’T feel like that, you’re just spending WAY too much time on social media. If a thirteen year old told you everyone thinks they need a full face of makeup and long nails, would you tell her she’s right or take away her phone? Take away your phone!

Lol. I’ll cut my 30 or so minutes a week down to nothing to satisfy someone on the internet who made a lot of assumptions. I gave specific, concrete examples that you can read, right on this website, right on this forum. If you’re trying to pretend that people don’t spend more time and money decoration and zhuzhing, you’re only fooling yourself.

[Anonymous]

Op, hello…….are you there? Any follow up to your original post?