Polite way of explaining to in-laws the As their kids receive are not

[Anonymous]

Omg why would it bother you?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Omg why would it bother you?!

Probably highly competitive by nature and it extends to their kids.

Another speculation is that in-laws live in a lower cost area with less than stellar schools but on their income are living their best life.

Working your butt off in DC area, for the same income, to send your kids to stellar schools while barely treading water financially is a reality for many in this area. So yeah, to them, all of A's in this area for some reason mean more.

[Anonymous]

OP stop posting incessantly on DCUM about your niece/nephew and your opinions on their schooling. It’s ridiculous behavior on your part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to high school in a small, ordinary suburban high school and could easily hold my own in college with people from MoCo, Long Island, NE prep schools, etc.

Are you Asian-American?
Which college?
What major?

NP with the same experience.

No, MIT, computer science

Being capable is not the especial privilege of rich kids.

The PP: no, Williams, English

High five! Another middling small town high school and Williams grad here! (Not Asian, and I'm the only person I know with my double major combo so I'm not going to specify.)

What good would it have done to tell my parents that my being valedictorian was meaningless because my school wasn't competitive enough? I guess if you didn't like my parents and wanted to avoid getting future invitations to visit, it would have given you some space. So if that's your goal, OP....

[Anonymous]

seconding everyone who is saying that grade inflation is FAR worse in upper-middle-class public schools and in private schools. So it's entirely possible the your in-laws As are actually more accurate.

-
former private school teacher who once gave a senators granddaughter a B and who should have seen the s***storm that ensued.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The same as As received at top rung high schools? While that may sound obvious to parents reading DC Urban Moms, it is not obvious to most parents. Do you just let family delude themselves until their children try college and are weeded out? That seems so cruel to know something they’re oblivious to for years and not say something.

It's easy, OP. You stand up and say "Attention, everyone: I am about to be an enormous gaping a$$hole" and then you proceed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:seconding everyone who is saying that grade inflation is FAR worse in upper-middle-class public schools and in private schools. So it's entirely possible the your in-laws As are actually more accurate.

-
former private school teacher who once gave a senators granddaughter a B and who should have seen the s***storm that ensued.

This depends on the school. My SIL teaches at a competitive private which is in a wealthy area but that is also known for *not* giving out inflated grades. Every year they have kids get into elite universities with “low” GPAs specifically because they don’t inflate and admissions officers know that.

Totally depends on the schools, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The same as As received at top rung high schools? While that may sound obvious to parents reading DC Urban Moms, it is not obvious to most parents. Do you just let family delude themselves until their children try college and are weeded out? That seems so cruel to know something they’re oblivious to for years and not say something.

It's easy, OP. You stand up and say "Attention, everyone: I am about to be an enormous gaping a$$hole" and then you proceed.

[Anonymous]

OP I would wait until after college admissions. Their kids will go to the same or higher ranked school as your kids due to their grades and geographic diversity. Save yourself the embarrassment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the native intelligence of the person is more important than the school they attended. Not to toot my own horn, but I went to a good but not in any way special public high school in the Midwest. My college freshman roommates went to Stuyvesant and Hotchkiss. I received significantly better grades than either of them did, in more difficult classes, and struggled less. So I don't equate "elite" secondary schools with intelligence or future success.

I think kids from lesser schools have more intellectual raw power which enables them to get into the same colleges.

[Anonymous]

Instead of talking to them about their grades tell them this story-
My wife and I were driving and she pointed me to some animals on a farm by the side of the road, 'See that cow, pig horse- remind you of any of your relatives?' I said, "Yes, my in-laws."

[Anonymous]

I work at one of the top high schools by DCUM standards. Grades are terribly inflated. My relatives in flyover red states, as described by another poster, arguably have higher standards when I hear about what they are doing in school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I work at one of the top high schools by DCUM standards. Grades are terribly inflated. My relatives in flyover red states, as described by another poster, arguably have higher standards when I hear about what they are doing in school.

Top DMV publics are very rigorous and have 75-100% of the seniors graduating at college ready levels. There are countless high schools in flyover country where only 25% of the high school down to literally zero seniors each year are college ready. If such schools had accurate grades, hardly any student is deserving of an A, let alone all As. But they all still give out As to about half the students. It’s a con on naive working class and MC parents.

[Anonymous]

OP, if the As you earned were worth anything, you wouldn't be asking such a stupid question.

[Anonymous]

Grade inflation does not equal lack of academic rigor.
Kids can go to bad schools with low quality instruction but still fight for As, in which case their parents would be proud and unaware that their children's education is subpar.

The best you can do, OP, is to encourage these kids to take national exams. That is quite literally the only way to know where they rank. SAT, ACT or AP exams. If they have decent scores, it means their core classes had to count for something.