Polite way of explaining to in-laws the As their kids receive are not

[Anonymous]

I went to high school in a small, ordinary suburban high school and could easily hold my own in college with people from MoCo, Long Island, NE prep schools, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to high school in a small, ordinary suburban high school and could easily hold my own in college with people from MoCo, Long Island, NE prep schools, etc.

Are you Asian-American?
Which college?
What major?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The same as As received at top rung high schools? While that may sound obvious to parents reading DC Urban Moms, it is not obvious to most parents. Do you just let family delude themselves until their children try college and are weeded out? That seems so cruel to know something they’re oblivious to for years and not say something.

You know that their As are not as good as your As, because...? I'm laughing, because many of the "top rung high schools" are ranked as such because of the SES of the families that attend. And those families tend to make a much bigger stink when their kids are in danger of getting anything but an A. In many cases, "top rung high schools" = grade inflation = yep, you're right! Their As are not the same-- they're worth less.

But let's say you're right.

If you say something they will...

...realize they need to get better grades? Better than As?
...move to another school district?
...put their kids in private school?

What are you proposing?

[Anonymous]

Or your in laws may be the ones whose kids end up at a top college, better than your kids.

My kids get As in a top district where it is very competitive.

What an odd post. Leave your in laws alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to high school in a small, ordinary suburban high school and could easily hold my own in college with people from MoCo, Long Island, NE prep schools, etc.

Are you Asian-American?
Which college?
What major?

NP with the same experience.

No, MIT, computer science

Being capable is not the especial privilege of rich kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to high school in a small, ordinary suburban high school and could easily hold my own in college with people from MoCo, Long Island, NE prep schools, etc.

Are you Asian-American?
Which college?
What major?

NP with the same experience.

No, MIT, computer science

Being capable is not the especial privilege of rich kids.

The PP: no, Williams, English

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The same as As received at top rung high schools? While that may sound obvious to parents reading DC Urban Moms, it is not obvious to most parents. Do you just let family delude themselves until their children try college and are weeded out? That seems so cruel to know something they’re oblivious to for years and not say something.

Don't worry, most colleges aren't what they used to be either...

[Anonymous]

I went to a bad public school in deepest, deepest flyover country and held my own at a top medical school. I didn’t even get good grades in k-12! Pound sand, op.

[Anonymous]

I’ll be the jerk and agree with OP.

OP - is this a case of ILs going to some rinks-dink, rural school in a deep red state and them acting like their kids receiving all As make them just the super best kids and they constantly brag? If so, yes I find people like that annoying. Just smile and nod and walk away,

[Anonymous]

Given that As from those top rung high schools are *also* highly inflated, you may not be correct in your assumption.

[Anonymous]

I think the native intelligence of the person is more important than the school they attended. Not to toot my own horn, but I went to a good but not in any way special public high school in the Midwest. My college freshman roommates went to Stuyvesant and Hotchkiss. I received significantly better grades than either of them did, in more difficult classes, and struggled less. So I don't equate "elite" secondary schools with intelligence or future success.

[Anonymous]

What the f, op?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The same as As received at top rung high schools? While that may sound obvious to parents reading DC Urban Moms, it is not obvious to most parents. Do you just let family delude themselves until their children try college and are weeded out? That seems so cruel to know something they’re oblivious to for years and not say something.

Setting aside whether or not you're right, what, exactly, do you want them to do with this supposed knowledge? Make their kids feel bad about their grades or abilities? Lower their expectations and not even try to get into a good college? Skip college altogether? Move? Your motives are garbage, and you know it.

[Anonymous]

My children go to Bethesda public middle and high schools, where teachers are usually very good, but grade inflation is terrible. Colleges know this, and admit accordingly.

Unless you are very knowledgeable about these other children's schools, OP, I caution you against making a blanket judgement based on geography, or how expensive their zip code or private school happens to be.

[Anonymous]

Leave it alone. I tried to explain to a friend that the National Society of High School Scholars her DD was invited to join was not the same prestige as the National Honor Society. I thought I was being helpful as her DD could have applied to NHS but chose to pay for NSHSS which anyone who isn’t failing can join. She has never forgiven me.