Trade ideas for giving a ride

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m OP. To answer the PP question: the original request was a one-off that was probably right after the other kid left the team. Then it became one ask per week, which I rarely said yes to because the summer was busy. Then it was quiet during pool cleaning.

The most recent time they asked was at the start of the new season in front of the rest of the practice group at dropoff, saying that their child couldn’t stay on the team without a ride home and since we lived close they needed a ride. I said I wouldn’t be able to do it regularly but would help when I could. Now I am sitting on a text from them saying that they have to drive the older sibling to soccer during pickup time during the school year and that they need a carpool and will we drive younger child home from practice this year? But not to worry because younger child already has a ride to practice.

Wait a second. So they put you on the spot asking in front of the rest of the team? That is simply not acceptable. And if it were done to me, I'd be furious and instantly realize that they alone have set the rules to this game. I would not have one ounce of guilt answering "sure, I'll drive your kid" in front of the same group but then texting later saying I now realize I can't drive, sorry. OP, they are using you and only care about what they need. Time for you to do the same.

Agree. I am the PP who asked these questions, thanks for answering, and yeah no way no how should you give rides to the kid. Also you already said NO this cannot be a regular thing in front of everyone (good for you!) And then they asked you again via text. I can't believe they think this is ok and don't offer you anything at all in return.

I'm also confused for this thread and the other one.... Why don't families prioritize the younger sib? Let the teen sib facilitate their rides using their own capital and charm. It's probably just because that's where they- the parents - want to be, which is incredibly selfish.

[Anonymous]

I’m dying to know how this request was made.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again: and no, they don’t send extra snacks and weren’t what I would call super extra grateful. I’ve been clear that my child will have dinner but they always say their kid will eat at home so not to worry. And then kid eats half of my kid’s dinner. Adult who is home waves from the front window when I drop the child off. They have an older kid and are hands-off team parents.

PP who said I’d do it when I could but they need to send food. I’m of the same mind given your update. I’d be happy to give a ride if that fit with my schedule but I am not going to disrupt my family to make it work for your kid by agreeing to 100% for a one sided agreement. And the no snacks/no dinner is a deal breaker. I hated making car dinners and I am certainly not putting my child in the position of not sharing or putting myself in the position of making more food later - it’s my line in the sand.

I am the mom who gives lots of rides. But I would not feel guilty if this one didn’t work. The parents need to up their game or withdraw.

[Anonymous]

Carpools are “supposed” to make your life easier. This situation isn’t it.

[Anonymous]

They have shown you who they are. No way!
(why can’t the parent who is home waving drive?).