Advice on how to handle new info re trauma in birth family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So wait, this allegedly happened when they were BOTH children? 8 and 12? This was not a child/adult dynamic. And they both have histories of mental illness and addiction? You were a sounding board for your sister so show empathy and kindness for what she believes may have happened, but don't carry any water for her on this. This is not for you to solve or prove or rectify.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should believe your sister is how you should proceed. People with attitudes like yours are the exact reason why I have never told my family about the abuse I suffered at the hands of a family member because not being believed would actually be worse than the assault trauma. You suck op.

OP here.

I'm very sorry for what happened to you.

I do believe something awful happened to my sister (as I said in my post). In believing her I also think that something terrible clearly must have been done to my brother as well, for him to have behaved in such a way at such a young age. I know a bit about trauma/abuse/childhood development, so having to apply that knowledge to what I'm learning about my own family is what is so foundation shifting.

I also think that secrets are bad and no one should have to keep them in order to avoid further abuse, so I am really sorry you are in that position. As awful as it has been to hear, I'm glad that my sister is talking. There is a lot of trauma and pain in our family, so I hope this can be an important piece of the puzzle as we each are trying to find a way to a healthier, more peaceful place. I wish the same for you pp.

[Anonymous]

I’m not an expert. I agree with the folks saying you should ask a therapist how to deal with this.

In the interim, I would offer sympathy and a beeline I got ear to your sister, while keeping the info to yourself (don’t gossip) unless relevant like telling people not to have him alone around their kids.

Once you have sought therapy, you can decide whether you should do more.