Tell me about your marriage where you weren’t initially attracted to that person physically

[Anonymous]

We divorced after 3 years. We had a great friendship and even though neither of us are unattractive the minimal attraction faded as time went on and eventually turned into a lack of attraction and a lack of sex. We were both too young to live lives with that kind of sacrifice.

Fast forward a few years and we are both in better relationship situations and we're more like the friends we should have been instead of "lovers".

Long story short: there's too many people to pick one you don't want sleep with

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s embarrassing to say this but since it’s anonymous I will. My now DH was born with a severe leg disability and despite him being very good looking and smart it was a barrier to my being attracted to him. We were friends for a couple of years and I realized he was the least disabled person I had ever met. He was an amazing athlete and was a real inspiration to so many people, especially children. I finally flirted with him and asked him out.

Do you feel sexually satisfied? I'm not asking necessarily whether his parts work, but more so do you wish he could dominate you or take control in a way he can't?

My ex-H was not disabled, and he was very handsome, but he was smaller than me physically. And I was 20 years in before I faced up to my true lack of attraction to him for that reason.

PP - everything about him works perfectly. I have no interest in being dominated! OK, some times🤗! Seriously, he’s very successful and he leads a very normal, active life though he does need to make some accommodations to avoid an injury. My friends are all amazed by what he can do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The question is really, can you become attracted to someone over time. I think for most men, they are either attracted to not attracted. I think most women can become attracted to someone the more they know that person. But it still has to be within a few dates.

If after 3-5 dates, and some kissing, he’s not doing it for you, then move on.

Yeah I think you need to try kissing him and see how that feels. Sometimes you don't really know if you're attracted till you try being attracted. Have a few drinks so you can let your superego relax a little.

But I think if you kiss him and still aren't into it, the kind thing is to let him go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly don't get this American obsession with "being attracted" to someone.

I wasn't attracted to DH initially, I guess he's not conventionally attractive. But through the long conversations we had into all hours of the night, romantic date, etc, the attraction developed in those first months. if I had written him off immediately, that wouldn't have happened.

We've been married for a while, have regular sex, it's very good sex and I do now find him very attractive. But that developed over time as we fell in love.

I'm sure some people look at some guy across a room and there's instant chemistry that ends up in a strong marriage, but that doesn't seem very common

All of this (except I don’t know that this is particularly American).

I wasn’t initially attracted to DH, but I am very attracted to him now, and our sex life is great. We’ve been married for fifteen years and have five kids.

Great you two can have cookies.

And while you're munching on those cookies shall we discuss the hundreds of marriages American and non American where attractions didn't grow but bitterness did?

It's nearly 2023. Nationalism and attacks based on your origin are no longer en vogue and neither is telling women they'll grow into it.

[Anonymous]

Man here - when I first met my now wife I thought she was attractive but I wasn’t attracted to her. She was very young looking and dressed very conservatively and I was 24 and my interests were for someone hotter and more fun. Fast forward 2-3 years and I came to realize she was very smart, a lot of fun and was definitely developing a sense of style. We both were invited to a beach party and when I saw her in a bathing suit my level of interest really went up. So when we started dating I was very attracted to her but it took a long time to get there.

[Anonymous]

His first wife cheated on him... don't be the second wife that does the same.

You both, but especially him deserve someone who is attracted to them