Tell me about your marriage where you weren’t initially attracted to that person physically

[Anonymous]

Just no. It won’t work.

[Anonymous]

Men need to be physically attracted to the woman, but money and power attracts women. That's nature

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men need to be physically attracted to the woman, but money and power attracts women. That's nature

That’s BS you’ve been fed.

OP, this doesn’t change over time. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

OP, give it a little time to see if you develop that spark, but not more than 2 months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I honestly don't get this American obsession with "being attracted" to someone.

I wasn't attracted to DH initially, I guess he's not conventionally attractive. But through the long conversations we had into all hours of the night, romantic date, etc, the attraction developed in those first months. if I had written him off immediately, that wouldn't have happened.

We've been married for a while, have regular sex, it's very good sex and I do now find him very attractive. But that developed over time as we fell in love.

I'm sure some people look at some guy across a room and there's instant chemistry that ends up in a strong marriage, but that doesn't seem very common

All of this (except I don’t know that this is particularly American).

I wasn’t initially attracted to DH, but I am very attracted to him now, and our sex life is great. We’ve been married for fifteen years and have five kids.

[Anonymous]

It was horrible. Every time we were intimate, which wasn’t much, felt like I was being ra9ed. Divorced within 2 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men need to be physically attracted to the woman, but money and power attracts women. That's nature

That’s BS you’ve been fed.

OP, this doesn’t change over time. Sorry.

+1

It might be true for some women but a lot of us are indifferent to it. Nice eyes and a spark is what I need.

[Anonymous]

I wasn’t attracted when we met but became extremely attracted on our first date.

I have a friend who basically got divorced because she didn’t have a spark with her husband. She tried for years, brought it up sex counseling with her husband, he got offended and dumped her. She is now married to a guy who I don’t think is particularly attractive but boy do sparks fly between them.

I don’t want to be superficial but I would also want to avoid setting myself up for potential problems. When you’re just dating I think it’s best to avoid things that could lead to issues down the road.

[Anonymous]

Are you dating this guy, or have you just seen photos?

If you have been dating for a little while and still aren’t attracted to him, then break it off. It isn’t going to get better over time.
If you have only seen photos or met him casually once or twice, then I think it’s worth going out on a couple of date and getting to know him. You might find yourself attracted to him once you get to know him.

[Anonymous]

Youll be posting in a few years about being in a sexless marriage and/or how you are not attracted to your spouse.

Basically, you're setting yourself up to be a future in DCUMer whining about your marriage.

[Anonymous]

The question is really, can you become attracted to someone over time. I think for most men, they are either attracted to not attracted. I think most women can become attracted to someone the more they know that person. But it still has to be within a few dates.

If after 3-5 dates, and some kissing, he’s not doing it for you, then move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly don't get this American obsession with "being attracted" to someone.

I wasn't attracted to DH initially, I guess he's not conventionally attractive. But through the long conversations we had into all hours of the night, romantic date, etc, the attraction developed in those first months. if I had written him off immediately, that wouldn't have happened.

We've been married for a while, have regular sex, it's very good sex and I do now find him very attractive. But that developed over time as we fell in love.

I'm sure some people look at some guy across a room and there's instant chemistry that ends up in a strong marriage, but that doesn't seem very common

All of this (except I don’t know that this is particularly American).

I wasn’t initially attracted to DH, but I am very attracted to him now, and our sex life is great. We’ve been married for fifteen years and have five kids.

+2

[Anonymous]

It’s embarrassing to say this but since it’s anonymous I will. My now DH was born with a severe leg disability and despite him being very good looking and smart it was a barrier to my being attracted to him. We were friends for a couple of years and I realized he was the least disabled person I had ever met. He was an amazing athlete and was a real inspiration to so many people, especially children. I finally flirted with him and asked him out.

[Anonymous]

A friend of mine went through this really. Met a nice guy who was very easy going and helpful to her with stuff around the house. They had a lot in common and their kids got along. She told, "He is not my usual type, I had to get over not being initially attracted to him". Well, it didn't last too long between them. Still, it may be worth giving it a shot with your guy to see if anything grows.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s embarrassing to say this but since it’s anonymous I will. My now DH was born with a severe leg disability and despite him being very good looking and smart it was a barrier to my being attracted to him. We were friends for a couple of years and I realized he was the least disabled person I had ever met. He was an amazing athlete and was a real inspiration to so many people, especially children. I finally flirted with him and asked him out.

Do you feel sexually satisfied? I'm not asking necessarily whether his parts work, but more so do you wish he could dominate you or take control in a way he can't?

My ex-H was not disabled, and he was very handsome, but he was smaller than me physically. And I was 20 years in before I faced up to my true lack of attraction to him for that reason.