I googled my therapist

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm EXCELLENT at establishing boundaries, have never used ANY drugs and have an associate's degree in office work (basically, being an EA). Can I help you with something specific regarding boundaries?

I have trouble saying no and I often do things I'd rather not do because it's easier than saying no. Apparently, I also breach boundaries via google searches.

Why do you have trouble saying no? Are you worried about people not liking you if you say no? That you’ll let them down? Something else? A friend of mine at work was the same as you, and one day I casually asked her if I could borrow $10,000. She was completely shocked and stammered that she couldn’t do that, sorry. I smiled and said “of course you can’t; that’s a totally unreasonable request!” Then I told her every time someone asked her for something, to imagine they were asking for $10,000.

For me, the key to saying no is never giving a reason why. Pushy people will find a reason your “no” shouldn’t stand. By not giving a reason, they have less to work with. So I don’t say “I can’t because my parents are staying with us and my son broke his leg in four places so I’m overwhelmed right now “. I just say “I can’t, sorry.” If the person asks why I refuse to give a reason and just say again “that won’t be possible, but good luck.” Now there are exceptions to this- I’ll give a reason to family members, very close friends. Basically only people who don’t try to take advantage of me. Sometimes I offer a piece of what they’re asking. “Sorry I can’t host a banquet for 600 at my house tomorrow, but I’m happy to drop off napkins.”

Whoa, I love when I find these nuggets of good wisdom buried in the jerk responses. Thank you PP (new poster here). Did you learn this the hard way or you are naturally protective of boundaries?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm EXCELLENT at establishing boundaries, have never used ANY drugs and have an associate's degree in office work (basically, being an EA). Can I help you with something specific regarding boundaries?

I have trouble saying no and I often do things I'd rather not do because it's easier than saying no. Apparently, I also breach boundaries via google searches.

Why do you have trouble saying no? Are you worried about people not liking you if you say no? That you’ll let them down? Something else? A friend of mine at work was the same as you, and one day I casually asked her if I could borrow $10,000. She was completely shocked and stammered that she couldn’t do that, sorry. I smiled and said “of course you can’t; that’s a totally unreasonable request!” Then I told her every time someone asked her for something, to imagine they were asking for $10,000.

For me, the key to saying no is never giving a reason why. Pushy people will find a reason your “no” shouldn’t stand. By not giving a reason, they have less to work with. So I don’t say “I can’t because my parents are staying with us and my son broke his leg in four places so I’m overwhelmed right now “. I just say “I can’t, sorry.” If the person asks why I refuse to give a reason and just say again “that won’t be possible, but good luck.” Now there are exceptions to this- I’ll give a reason to family members, very close friends. Basically only people who don’t try to take advantage of me. Sometimes I offer a piece of what they’re asking. “Sorry I can’t host a banquet for 600 at my house tomorrow, but I’m happy to drop off napkins.”

Whoa, I love when I find these nuggets of good wisdom buried in the jerk responses. Thank you PP (new poster here). Did you learn this the hard way or you are naturally protective of boundaries?

I think it mostly came naturally from watching my mother who said no to almost everything with zero f**ks given, and then I tweaked it a little. Like I will give reasons why I’m saying no to certain people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being a psychotherapist doesn’t necessitate a doctorate. There are many licensed masters level therapists: LCSW, LCPC, LMFT but clearly none of those should be referred to as Dr. I’m an LCSW and have a PhD in an unrelated field so technically I’m Dr Larla but I’d NEVER use that in a clinical setting bc it would give the impression I had a PhD in social work.

FWIW I’m not kooky or new age at all and “manifesting” is definitely not a research-based therapeutic intervention! But I also don’t take insurance. Lots of us don’t because we can run more efficient private practices if they are cash pay and clients submit for reimbursement. I know it’s not ideal.

But there’s no indication that the therapist has used “Dr” in a clinical setting. The OP found this on “social media”.

No. It's on the link to the therapy portal. "Dr." Larla Smith is acailable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP here ^, forgot to write that people need to pick up trash in their own yards before fashioning themselves as worthy of holding intimate information and guiding vulnerable people.

This is the heart of it. To make good progress, you need to have confidence, trust and respect for the person "helping" you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being a psychotherapist doesn’t necessitate a doctorate. There are many licensed masters level therapists: LCSW, LCPC, LMFT but clearly none of those should be referred to as Dr. I’m an LCSW and have a PhD in an unrelated field so technically I’m Dr Larla but I’d NEVER use that in a clinical setting bc it would give the impression I had a PhD in social work.

FWIW I’m not kooky or new age at all and “manifesting” is definitely not a research-based therapeutic intervention! But I also don’t take insurance. Lots of us don’t because we can run more efficient private practices if they are cash pay and clients submit for reimbursement. I know it’s not ideal.

But there’s no indication that the therapist has used “Dr” in a clinical setting. The OP found this on “social media”.

That is to say, when I bring up the link to my appointment, I see the words Dr. Smith is available. During sessions, there is a chat box which says, "send Dr. Smith a message". I googled the living hell out of her and she simply does not have the credentials or education to call herself Dr. Not in any capacity.



No. It's on the link to the therapy portal. "Dr." Larla Smith is acailable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh. I googled my therapist and took a deep dive on her public! social media page. Not surprisingly, she's a social justice warrior but she's also apparently into psychedelic drugs and some new age...ideas. I probably should've done this before I started therapy with her, but she had an opening and I wanted to give therapy a try. I did the search because I haven't really connected with her yet (5 weeks). Also, her virtual link IDs her as "Dr. Larla", but she doesn't have more than a master's. She gives me advice about "assigning" and "manifesting". I just want help with establishing boundaries and improving relationships.
Are there any highly intelligent, pragmatic and of this Earth therapists who take insurance in the DMV? Are all therapists kooky?

Nothing wrong with being a social justice warrior. That’s a feature, not a bug. Makes her more Christ-like.

[Anonymous]

Def get a new therapist. After 5 weeks you should feel better about her and your therapy. It can take a few tries to find someone you connect with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You broke trust by violating her boundaries.

I don’t agree with this. It’s completely normal to be curious about your therapist. She (the therapist) knows her clients will Google her.

OK let me put this another way… OP has problems with boundaries and relationships. After five weeks she wasn’t making progress in therapy so decided to figure out what was wrong with the therapist (not herself) so she googled her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You broke trust by violating her boundaries.

I don’t agree with this. It’s completely normal to be curious about your therapist. She (the therapist) knows her clients will Google her.

OK let me put this another way… OP has problems with boundaries and relationships. After five weeks she wasn’t making progress in therapy so decided to figure out what was wrong with the therapist (not herself) so she googled her.

Good point. I had a hunch something was off between us. Her bio lists CBT, DbT and Rogerian theory based approaches. What I have received seems like something I could get from the palm reader on rte 97 for $10.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh. I googled my therapist and took a deep dive on her public! social media page. Not surprisingly, she's a social justice warrior but she's also apparently into psychedelic drugs and some new age...ideas. I probably should've done this before I started therapy with her, but she had an opening and I wanted to give therapy a try. I did the search because I haven't really connected with her yet (5 weeks). Also, her virtual link IDs her as "Dr. Larla", but she doesn't have more than a master's. She gives me advice about "assigning" and "manifesting". I just want help with establishing boundaries and improving relationships.
Are there any highly intelligent, pragmatic and of this Earth therapists who take insurance in the DMV? Are all therapists kooky?

You do know psychedelic drugs are being studied and heralded as groundbreaking for anxiety depression PTSD and studied by Hopkins as well. Can do more than anti depressants do for many with just 1-2 sessions. Your therapist sounds smart and on top of latest treatments. You don't need a degree to know of the profound effects. Would love her info.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You broke trust by violating her boundaries.

Keep your social media private, people! Be professional and maintain a respectable profile online. Is that difficult these days?

Is it that difficult for you not to have googled your therapist? You appear to have trouble with making good decisions and then faulting other people for it.

[Anonymous]

Is she part of a group practice? Can you ask them to verify the “Dr” label? That’s the only red flag I see here. And you may not have all the information from Google so best to check first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is she part of a group practice? Can you ask them to verify the “Dr” label? That’s the only red flag I see here. And you may not have all the information from Google so best to check first.

I checked her license in our state. Her degrees are listed on the group website.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she part of a group practice? Can you ask them to verify the “Dr” label? That’s the only red flag I see here. And you may not have all the information from Google so best to check first.

I checked her license in our state. Her degrees are listed on the group website.

It seems like you’re really invested in proving that she’s not a good therapist. Just move on. Find someone else you have more respect for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she part of a group practice? Can you ask them to verify the “Dr” label? That’s the only red flag I see here. And you may not have all the information from Google so best to check first.

I checked her license in our state. Her degrees are listed on the group website.

It seems like you’re really invested in proving that she’s not a good therapist. Just move on. Find someone else you have more respect for.

+1