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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm EXCELLENT at establishing boundaries, have never used ANY drugs and have an associate's degree in office work (basically, being an EA). Can I help you with something specific regarding boundaries? [/quote]

I have trouble saying no and I often do things I'd rather not do because it's easier than saying no. Apparently, I also breach boundaries via google searches.[/quote]

Why do you have trouble saying no? Are you worried about people not liking you if you say no? That you’ll let them down? Something else? A friend of mine at work was the same as you, and one day I casually asked her if I could borrow $10,000. She was completely shocked and stammered that she couldn’t do that, sorry. I smiled and said “of course you can’t; that’s a totally unreasonable request!” Then I told her every time someone asked her for something, to imagine they were asking for $10,000.

For me, the key to saying no is never giving a reason why. Pushy people will find a reason your “no” shouldn’t stand. By not giving a reason, they have less to work with. So I don’t say “I can’t because my parents are staying with us and my son broke his leg in four places so I’m overwhelmed right now “. I just say “I can’t, sorry.” If the person asks why I refuse to give a reason and just say again “that won’t be possible, but good luck.” Now there are exceptions to this- I’ll give a reason to family members, very close friends. Basically only people who don’t try to take advantage of me. Sometimes I offer a piece of what they’re asking. “Sorry I can’t host a banquet for 600 at my house tomorrow, but I’m happy to drop off napkins.”  [/quote]

Whoa, I love when I find these nuggets of good wisdom buried in the jerk responses. Thank you PP (new poster here). Did you learn this the hard way or you are naturally protective of boundaries?[/quote]

I think it mostly came naturally from watching my mother who said no to almost everything with zero f**ks given, and then I tweaked it a little. Like I will give reasons why I’m saying no to certain people. [/quote]

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