WWYD: kid sick before birthday party

[Anonymous]

I don’t think your kid should stay home for a cold (since she has negative COVID tests, including PCR). No one stayed home for a cold before COVID. And we are a COVID cautious family.

[Anonymous]

Pre-Covid, people were mad when others knowingly exposed them to colds. Because “colds” even pre-Covid are disruptive. And will always be.

Post Covid colds require weeks of effort to prove not Covid. And being sick takes people away from their life, responsibilities, and enjoyment.

This trend of people not caring how they impact others, not just with public health, is so discouraging.

[Anonymous]

I’d check with the other family. Kids are not going to be staying home from school for the duration of a cold.

[Anonymous]

OP I know this is hard but you need to opt your child out of her own birthday party. With the current variant many people are testing negative, on PCR or rapid tests, for days before their tests turn positive. Just happened with our child who had very mild symptoms. We thought like you it was "just" a cold after doing two rapid tests plus a PCR test because we had a family event coming up with older relatives.

After 3 days and three negative tests we stopped testing, and did not isolate the child. But then a sibling got sick and it was much more serious and the sibling was positive for covid. We tested the first sick child again and the test came back positive and remained positive for days.

We heard about the false negatives from our doctor but you will find many many anecdotes like this online and with your friends if you start asking around.

FWIW I also agree you shouldn't be spreading colds around either. A mild cold for your child may lead to a pneumonia for a vulnerable relative of another child. Just don't be that person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would skip the party and reschedule a new dedicated party once the child is healthy. Even if it is not Covid, any kind of cold is a massive pain right now for parents with travel or in-person work policies. Another family getting your cold could affect a vacation, family event, or require them to miss important work functions.

+1. I would be massively annoyed if the host kid was sick and still having the party.

This happened to us earlier this year. Kid was visibly sick to the point where his mom was reassuring everyone he “tested negative.” It wasn’t Covid, but it was a nasty cold and my family all got it. It didn’t endear me to the parents who went through with the party.

[Anonymous]

Current etiquette in much of the country seems to be that “colds” even when not Covid, count as “sick.”

Personally, I don’t see how this will be sustainable long-term, as young children have cold symptoms on average about half of the school year. Historically no one seriously considered keeping kids home unless there was fever, bad cough, feeling too sick for school/daycare/etc. Kids would almost never be able to go to school and parents would miss way too much work if every sniffle was at least a week of “sick time.”

We’re in an odd place now where some parts of the country and social circles have shifted back toward the old way, and some still consider it obligatory to isolate for even the most minor symptoms. It really depends on what the norms are in your circles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Current etiquette in much of the country seems to be that “colds” even when not Covid, count as “sick.”

Personally, I don’t see how this will be sustainable long-term, as young children have cold symptoms on average about half of the school year. Historically no one seriously considered keeping kids home unless there was fever, bad cough, feeling too sick for school/daycare/etc. Kids would almost never be able to go to school and parents would miss way too much work if every sniffle was at least a week of “sick time.”

We’re in an odd place now where some parts of the country and social circles have shifted back toward the old way, and some still consider it obligatory to isolate for even the most minor symptoms. It really depends on what the norms are in your circles.

The norms everywhere should be “don’t screw other people.” But the norm seem to be “me first and only.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please tell me you are not in McLean.

??

Pp is probably attending the party and op has outed herself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please tell me you are not in McLean.

??

Pp is probably attending the party and op has outed herself.

OP here and no, we are not in McLean - lol. We are not even in Virginia. And honestly, I don't care about "outing" myself because if my child does attend her party, we would "out" ourselves to all the guests anyway.

[Anonymous]

Probably back out and do a cake with some friends when your kid feels better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pre-Covid, people were mad when others knowingly exposed them to colds. Because “colds” even pre-Covid are disruptive. And will always be.

Post Covid colds require weeks of effort to prove not Covid. And being sick takes people away from their life, responsibilities, and enjoyment.

This trend of people not caring how they impact others, not just with public health, is so discouraging.

Thank you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think your kid should stay home for a cold (since she has negative COVID tests, including PCR). No one stayed home for a cold before COVID. And we are a COVID cautious family.

This is absolutely not true. I’m a teacher and there’s always been families who did the right thing by keeping their kids home for a cold. Sure, some sent their kids anyway, but our most common reason for absences was a kid having a cold. Sick kids don’t learn as well. Schools usually can’t keep them dosed with Zarbee’s or DayQuil to help them feel better. My district doesn’t even allow kids to self administer medicated cough drops.

[Anonymous]

child has a cold as in has some sniffles, but no fever and is happily and willingly participating in activities? Yes let them attend THEIR OWN party.
child has a fever? is basically miserable? really only wants to lay around? cancel.
Kids birthday parties are really important- this child is not a guest, it is THEIR party.
To the extent that the 'problem with colds' is that they cause disruption then what we need to stop is the overreaction to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s her birthday! Have her wear a mask and just let other people know beforehand about the situation so they can choose not to come if they’re not comfortable.

+1
It’s a cold.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think your kid should stay home for a cold (since she has negative COVID tests, including PCR). No one stayed home for a cold before COVID. And we are a COVID cautious family.

This is absolutely not true. I’m a teacher and there’s always been families who did the right thing by keeping their kids home for a cold. Sure, some sent their kids anyway, but our most common reason for absences was a kid having a cold. Sick kids don’t learn as well. Schools usually can’t keep them dosed with Zarbee’s or DayQuil to help them feel better. My district doesn’t even allow kids to self administer medicated cough drops.

Most people don’t feel very sick with a cold and colds can last several days. People don’t need to miss school for a cold unless the feel unwell. You miss for a fever, vomiting…