Socializing at pickup question

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, that's part of why I try to do pickup occasionally even though I WOHM. That's how parents exchange information, and get comfortable with families so playdates are more likely to get made. If they see you, they'll be more likely to invite you to gatherings (particularly for younger kids, where relationships are sometimes parent driven.) But if you don't want to, it's not obligatory.

I want to but we keep things pretty tight and are not super social. We like family life and not too many complications. I would attend so my child could attend but I would never host a gathering in my house or anything - that would be a nightmare for me. Also, my kids are in mid elementary grades and when they were younger I tried to do a couple playdates with moms and found them dreadful talking to the moms.

But we've moved to a new neighborhood so I guess I'm a little more open so that is why I was wondering if I should or not.

It sounds like you don’t like people.

[Anonymous]

Don't over think this. Somedays I have really fun, awesome conversations with other parents and some days I need to tap out a quick work email. It's no big deal either way.

But I is important to me to be approachable and friendly. Parenting is not just about the relationship with your kids. It's also about building a community and life for them and keeping them safe within it. When you have positive relationships (you don't need to be BFF's) with other parents, they look out for your kids and your kids feel like they have a bigger circle of people to rely on. And as they get older, it's so important to have a sense of the other families that your kids may spend time with as they build friendships. Chit-chat is a good way to do that.

[Anonymous]

How can a bus stop be dramatic?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you socialize with the moms during pick up? I’m not sure I should engage because I don’t want anything to get awkward and then have to dodge someone at pickup. There are a lot of neighbors out not just a few. I typically hate chit chat and shallow convos but realize this is part of the gateway to get to know someone better.

Is it worth it? Or should I just take my phone out and wait for my kid. I also do not want drama.

Np Your post is all over the place. You don't want to be awkward but, don't like to chit chat so that sounds like you aren't looking to make friends but, then you say chit chat is the gateway to know someone better.

So first ask yourself do you want to make friends or be distant? If distant and no drama just keep chat polite and say good morning and talk about the weather.

If you want friends than yes than you have to engage in more than idle social chit chat.

If you don't want drama just say good morning at the bare minimum.

My advice would be to ask yourself what you want. Then please don't make assumptions about other people.

Good advice. I want something in between. A little more than weather talk BUT not a competitive fast moving conversation that is a comparison fest or drama shallow. I’ve seen my share of those since preschool days, the moms were ruthless to each other but these were younger moms 20’s where I was upper 30’s and now 40’s. I actually don’t know if what I want exist. Friendly conversation about things that can’t be too heavy. Crime watch info and school info can be all exchanged on our neighborhood FB page. Some parents like to post a lot on there.

I’ll figure it out. I’m happier without drama, obligations and playing any type of social dynamics game. I just don’t have time for that.

I am the pp. I've only bumped into one person who was super competitive and ironically it was at church. For whatever reason what my kids did was really fascinating? and I felt like I was being interviewed like Charlie Rose. But, most adults get more chill as their kids get older. Yes, you can get crime reports from the list serve but, sometimes people don't post and sometimes you get more details from talking to someone!

Sounds like you should say 'good morning' and just look at your phone. It doesn't sound like you want to be a part of the community and that is ok. Just don't give mixed messages..friendly one day and then cool the other.

[Anonymous]

I found that last year, people at pickup really only socialized with those they know. Because of COVID, people tried to give others their space. If you don't want to talk to people. wear a mask and people will get the hint.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I did. I’m shy so I didn’t love it, but found it essential.