Son sold Nintendo Switch- but not upfront about i

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thx all for the advice-
For the prior poster, I didn’t let him sell any of it. Not switch or games. Why he didn’t take it all in to sell is a good question- I’ll ask him that. I assume (in my opinion) he felt I would discover the switch gone - or maybe - actually I have no idea.
But good advice for strong discipline- we did tell him the least is he has to give me the money he made- which he said ok and wants me to take from his savings- but that hardly makes him feel pain. So I’m still thinking.
He knows he did wrong and said I never let him sell anything so he has no way to make money. We shut that down by saying no excuse. He was sneaky and we are thinking of the punishment.

You said "So pulled out of closet and told my 17 year old- ok I’m not giving switch to our youngest so he can sell it and keep the difference for what we paid. Problem is, he went into my closet, took games without asking and sold them for 40 bucks." Which one is it?

Seems like you are changing your story to make your DS look worse. Sorry, not buying it.

I think OP is not changing the story. She’s just not telling it clearly. I’ve reread it a couple of times and think this is what happened. I think what’s confusing is that we as readers dont have a sense of time between events.

Let’s say in October 2021, OP’s son bought a switch and 4 games for little brother. Son paid $150. Mom said that younger brother was too young for such a gift and said, “Hey, that was a nice gift, but he’s too young. I’ll reimburse you for the $150 and hold the switch and games until younger brother is old enough.” She paid him $150.

Fast forward to July 2022: Son is trying to sell things to make money. Mom goes into closet and sees that the switch and games she reimbursed him for are gone. Son had gone in there and sold them for $40.

Is that what happened, OP?

She is not allowing her almost adult son to sell his property that he no longer needs because she doesn’t like him taking “the easy way”. She doesn’t let him reimburse her for the items he sold because that punishment wouldn’t be painful enough. Where does this young man have the agency to make his own decisions in this family? This relationship has future estrangement written all over it.

Where do you get that he owed the switch & games? I thought OP owned them. Who owned the switch?

Look at OP’s first post. DS bought the switch and games for his brother.

Keep reading that same post. In the third paragraph, she says she didn’t want little bro to have it so she reimbursed son for what he paid. Last line of the the third paragraph. Paying him for those items means he no longer owned them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thx all for the advice-
For the prior poster, I didn’t let him sell any of it. Not switch or games. Why he didn’t take it all in to sell is a good question- I’ll ask him that. I assume (in my opinion) he felt I would discover the switch gone - or maybe - actually I have no idea.
But good advice for strong discipline- we did tell him the least is he has to give me the money he made- which he said ok and wants me to take from his savings- but that hardly makes him feel pain. So I’m still thinking.
He knows he did wrong and said I never let him sell anything so he has no way to make money. We shut that down by saying no excuse. He was sneaky and we are thinking of the punishment.

You said "So pulled out of closet and told my 17 year old- ok I’m not giving switch to our youngest so he can sell it and keep the difference for what we paid. Problem is, he went into my closet, took games without asking and sold them for 40 bucks." Which one is it?

Seems like you are changing your story to make your DS look worse. Sorry, not buying it.

I think OP is not changing the story. She’s just not telling it clearly. I’ve reread it a couple of times and think this is what happened. I think what’s confusing is that we as readers dont have a sense of time between events.

Let’s say in October 2021, OP’s son bought a switch and 4 games for little brother. Son paid $150. Mom said that younger brother was too young for such a gift and said, “Hey, that was a nice gift, but he’s too young. I’ll reimburse you for the $150 and hold the switch and games until younger brother is old enough.” She paid him $150.

Fast forward to July 2022: Son is trying to sell things to make money. Mom goes into closet and sees that the switch and games she reimbursed him for are gone. Son had gone in there and sold them for $40.

Is that what happened, OP?

She is not allowing her almost adult son to sell his property that he no longer needs because she doesn’t like him taking “the easy way”. She doesn’t let him reimburse her for the items he sold because that punishment wouldn’t be painful enough. Where does this young man have the agency to make his own decisions in this family? This relationship has future estrangement written all over it.

I think you misunderstood the story. The OP reimbursed the son for the switch. He bought the switch for his little brother but little brother was too young for it, so she paid him $150 for it and saved it for when the younger son was a little older, so the switch was no longer the son’s property to sell.

Read everything OP has written and you will see that she does not want her sons to have control over their own possessions or time if she doesn’t agree with their use. I’d like to know how much this allowance is and how many hours he is allowed to work because he obviously feels it is not enough.

She said he could ask for more hours at work - and he is choosing not to. Why does he need money so fast? If it was a legit emergency, he would ask his parents. It’s obviously something stupid or embarrassing that he is trying to hide.

[Anonymous]

This screams drugs, sorry it just does. I’d drug test him and if he fails kick him out. Otherwise tell him he needs to replace whatever was sold without permission.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This screams drugs, sorry it just does. I’d drug test him and if he fails kick him out. Otherwise tell him he needs to replace whatever was sold without permission.

Damn. Kick out a 17 year old for drugs. Like if he’s smoked weed, you’re putting him on the street??? You sound deranged. How old are your children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This screams drugs, sorry it just does. I’d drug test him and if he fails kick him out. Otherwise tell him he needs to replace whatever was sold without permission.

Damn. Kick out a 17 year old for drugs. Like if he’s smoked weed, you’re putting him on the street??? You sound deranged. How old are your children?

NP. I agree with PP, 17 is an adult if they’re doing drugs and selling items to buy them. I would give them 1 month to shape up and drug test randomly after that to live in my home another year. Once drugs become the priority little else will matter to a teenager. They would not be in my home, especially with a younger sibling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This screams drugs, sorry it just does. I’d drug test him and if he fails kick him out. Otherwise tell him he needs to replace whatever was sold without permission.

Damn. Kick out a 17 year old for drugs. Like if he’s smoked weed, you’re putting him on the street??? You sound deranged. How old are your children?

NP. I agree with PP, 17 is an adult if they’re doing drugs and selling items to buy them. I would give them 1 month to shape up and drug test randomly after that to live in my home another year. Once drugs become the priority little else will matter to a teenager. They would not be in my home, especially with a younger sibling.

How old are your children, if you have any?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Drugs

+1

[Anonymous]

Kid clearly has way to sell things and if knows only punishment is pays you what sold item for and then only if caught, prepare for more to be sold.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thx all for the advice-
For the prior poster, I didn’t let him sell any of it. Not switch or games. Why he didn’t take it all in to sell is a good question- I’ll ask him that. I assume (in my opinion) he felt I would discover the switch gone - or maybe - actually I have no idea.
But good advice for strong discipline- we did tell him the least is he has to give me the money he made- which he said ok and wants me to take from his savings- but that hardly makes him feel pain. So I’m still thinking.
He knows he did wrong and said I never let him sell anything so he has no way to make money. We shut that down by saying no excuse. He was sneaky and we are thinking of the punishment.

You said "So pulled out of closet and told my 17 year old- ok I’m not giving switch to our youngest so he can sell it and keep the difference for what we paid. Problem is, he went into my closet, took games without asking and sold them for 40 bucks." Which one is it?

Seems like you are changing your story to make your DS look worse. Sorry, not buying it.

I think OP is not changing the story. She’s just not telling it clearly. I’ve reread it a couple of times and think this is what happened. I think what’s confusing is that we as readers dont have a sense of time between events.

Let’s say in October 2021, OP’s son bought a switch and 4 games for little brother. Son paid $150. Mom said that younger brother was too young for such a gift and said, “Hey, that was a nice gift, but he’s too young. I’ll reimburse you for the $150 and hold the switch and games until younger brother is old enough.” She paid him $150.

Fast forward to July 2022: Son is trying to sell things to make money. Mom goes into closet and sees that the switch and games she reimbursed him for are gone. Son had gone in there and sold them for $40.

Is that what happened, OP?

She is not allowing her almost adult son to sell his property that he no longer needs because she doesn’t like him taking “the easy way”. She doesn’t let him reimburse her for the items he sold because that punishment wouldn’t be painful enough. Where does this young man have the agency to make his own decisions in this family? This relationship has future estrangement written all over it.

I think you misunderstood the story. The OP reimbursed the son for the switch. He bought the switch for his little brother but little brother was too young for it, so she paid him $150 for it and saved it for when the younger son was a little older, so the switch was no longer the son’s property to sell.

Read everything OP has written and you will see that she does not want her sons to have control over their own possessions or time if she doesn’t agree with their use. I’d like to know how much this allowance is and how many hours he is allowed to work because he obviously feels it is not enough.

She said he could ask for more hours at work - and he is choosing not to. Why does he need money so fast? If it was a legit emergency, he would ask his parents. It’s obviously something stupid or embarrassing that he is trying to hide.

Maybe he has a girlfriend his mom wouldn’t approve of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kid clearly has way to sell things and if knows only punishment is pays you what sold item for and then only if caught, prepare for more to be sold.

My DS has always been good about clearing out his unused possessions. He has sold his old games usually at the GameStop for a decent price, considering these are old games. Perhaps OP has some hoarding tendencies due to childhood deprivation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kid clearly has way to sell things and if knows only punishment is pays you what sold item for and then only if caught, prepare for more to be sold.

You mean FB, Ebay and Gamestop? It’s not black market merchandise, lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Drugs

+1

How are his grades and job performance? Usually those are tells.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sell his phone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Obviously it’s wrong that he stole those games. Also odd that you would expect him to pay you back for a gift you gave him if he sells it. Whole family seems odd about money.

+1. Obsessed, really.

[Anonymous]

Op, I’d take him to the doctors for a drug test asap. And take him again sporadically and without notice.