Son sold Nintendo Switch- but not upfront about i

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Umm why is he so desperate for money? This story is so fishy.

Yes, this is my first thought. OP worried about old games when her kid’s behavior is screaming drug problem.

Maybe. It seems like if it were drugs there would be cash and stuff missing, too. If he's really trying to save up for an Xbox those are expensive, and TikTok is full of "resellers" who talk about how much money they make from selling old clothes, games, etc. Of course, they are hopefully not stealing things from their parents' closet to do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thx all for the advice-
For the prior poster, I didn’t let him sell any of it. Not switch or games. Why he didn’t take it all in to sell is a good question- I’ll ask him that. I assume (in my opinion) he felt I would discover the switch gone - or maybe - actually I have no idea.
But good advice for strong discipline- we did tell him the least is he has to give me the money he made- which he said ok and wants me to take from his savings- but that hardly makes him feel pain. So I’m still thinking.
He knows he did wrong and said I never let him sell anything so he has no way to make money. We shut that down by saying no excuse. He was sneaky and we are thinking of the punishment.

You said "So pulled out of closet and told my 17 year old- ok I’m not giving switch to our youngest so he can sell it and keep the difference for what we paid. Problem is, he went into my closet, took games without asking and sold them for 40 bucks." Which one is it?

[Anonymous]

Why on earth are you keeping the games (Switch) when there is no device (Switch) in your house left to run it? It makes no sense unless you are afraid of having FOMO down the line. Frankly, you sound like a control freak.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thx all for the advice-
For the prior poster, I didn’t let him sell any of it. Not switch or games. Why he didn’t take it all in to sell is a good question- I’ll ask him that. I assume (in my opinion) he felt I would discover the switch gone - or maybe - actually I have no idea.
But good advice for strong discipline- we did tell him the least is he has to give me the money he made- which he said ok and wants me to take from his savings- but that hardly makes him feel pain. So I’m still thinking.
He knows he did wrong and said I never let him sell anything so he has no way to make money. We shut that down by saying no excuse. He was sneaky and we are thinking of the punishment.

This speaks volumes. He sees no consequence for what he did.
He will pay back out of his earnings make financial restitution.
AND he will lose the privilege of a phone or car for the entire month of August for sneaking around and taking things. It may mean that you have to drive him around when it’s convenient for you. Or he has to call an Uber and pay for it on his own. Or if he loses the phone, he will not be able to contact friends. Pick Whichever you think will have the most impact.

Have the conversation with spouse and son tonight. No negotiation. Stay united. Son will argue and say he doesn’t understand it. He doesn’t need to agree with it or “understand” it. You can tell him that you don’t argue with children, especially ones that sneak around and take things. End the conversation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thx all for the advice-
For the prior poster, I didn’t let him sell any of it. Not switch or games. Why he didn’t take it all in to sell is a good question- I’ll ask him that. I assume (in my opinion) he felt I would discover the switch gone - or maybe - actually I have no idea.
But good advice for strong discipline- we did tell him the least is he has to give me the money he made- which he said ok and wants me to take from his savings- but that hardly makes him feel pain. So I’m still thinking.
He knows he did wrong and said I never let him sell anything so he has no way to make money. We shut that down by saying no excuse. He was sneaky and we are thinking of the punishment.

You said "So pulled out of closet and told my 17 year old- ok I’m not giving switch to our youngest so he can sell it and keep the difference for what we paid. Problem is, he went into my closet, took games without asking and sold them for 40 bucks." Which one is it?

Seems like you are changing your story to make your DS look worse. Sorry, not buying it.

[Anonymous]

So your son buys his younger brother a used Switch and games but you refuse to let him give it to him. Ok, parent perogative but you pay him for it and stash it in your closet for the future. Future comes and he wants to see his unused belongings for cash. You don’t like this because you want him to work more (“the hard way”) instead of selling HIS unused property (“easy way”, “for nothing”) so you put limits on what he call sell (none of his clothes). Then you tell him he can sell the switch but not the games but you are not going to let you younger son use them. So his thoughtful gesture has really gone to waste since no one has been playing that Switch since he bought it. Yet you need to control what happens to the games instead of letting him sell them? Lady, you are a control freak and if you don’t ease up, both of your sons will leave home and never tell you what they are doing or want to be around you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thx all for the advice-
For the prior poster, I didn’t let him sell any of it. Not switch or games. Why he didn’t take it all in to sell is a good question- I’ll ask him that. I assume (in my opinion) he felt I would discover the switch gone - or maybe - actually I have no idea.
But good advice for strong discipline- we did tell him the least is he has to give me the money he made- which he said ok and wants me to take from his savings- but that hardly makes him feel pain. So I’m still thinking.
He knows he did wrong and said I never let him sell anything so he has no way to make money. We shut that down by saying no excuse. He was sneaky and we are thinking of the punishment.

You said "So pulled out of closet and told my 17 year old- ok I’m not giving switch to our youngest so he can sell it and keep the difference for what we paid. Problem is, he went into my closet, took games without asking and sold them for 40 bucks." Which one is it?

Seems like you are changing your story to make your DS look worse. Sorry, not buying it.

I think OP is not changing the story. She’s just not telling it clearly. I’ve reread it a couple of times and think this is what happened. I think what’s confusing is that we as readers dont have a sense of time between events.

Let’s say in October 2021, OP’s son bought a switch and 4 games for little brother. Son paid $150. Mom said that younger brother was too young for such a gift and said, “Hey, that was a nice gift, but he’s too young. I’ll reimburse you for the $150 and hold the switch and games until younger brother is old enough.” She paid him $150.

Fast forward to July 2022: Son is trying to sell things to make money. Mom goes into closet and sees that the switch and games she reimbursed him for are gone. Son had gone in there and sold them for $40.

Is that what happened, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thx all for the advice-
For the prior poster, I didn’t let him sell any of it. Not switch or games. Why he didn’t take it all in to sell is a good question- I’ll ask him that. I assume (in my opinion) he felt I would discover the switch gone - or maybe - actually I have no idea.
But good advice for strong discipline- we did tell him the least is he has to give me the money he made- which he said ok and wants me to take from his savings- but that hardly makes him feel pain. So I’m still thinking.
He knows he did wrong and said I never let him sell anything so he has no way to make money. We shut that down by saying no excuse. He was sneaky and we are thinking of the punishment.

You said "So pulled out of closet and told my 17 year old- ok I’m not giving switch to our youngest so he can sell it and keep the difference for what we paid. Problem is, he went into my closet, took games without asking and sold them for 40 bucks." Which one is it?

Seems like you are changing your story to make your DS look worse. Sorry, not buying it.

I think OP is not changing the story. She’s just not telling it clearly. I’ve reread it a couple of times and think this is what happened. I think what’s confusing is that we as readers dont have a sense of time between events.

Let’s say in October 2021, OP’s son bought a switch and 4 games for little brother. Son paid $150. Mom said that younger brother was too young for such a gift and said, “Hey, that was a nice gift, but he’s too young. I’ll reimburse you for the $150 and hold the switch and games until younger brother is old enough.” She paid him $150.

Fast forward to July 2022: Son is trying to sell things to make money. Mom goes into closet and sees that the switch and games she reimbursed him for are gone. Son had gone in there and sold them for $40.

Is that what happened, OP?

She is not allowing her almost adult son to sell his property that he no longer needs because she doesn’t like him taking “the easy way”. She doesn’t let him reimburse her for the items he sold because that punishment wouldn’t be painful enough. Where does this young man have the agency to make his own decisions in this family? This relationship has future estrangement written all over it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thx all for the advice-
For the prior poster, I didn’t let him sell any of it. Not switch or games. Why he didn’t take it all in to sell is a good question- I’ll ask him that. I assume (in my opinion) he felt I would discover the switch gone - or maybe - actually I have no idea.
But good advice for strong discipline- we did tell him the least is he has to give me the money he made- which he said ok and wants me to take from his savings- but that hardly makes him feel pain. So I’m still thinking.
He knows he did wrong and said I never let him sell anything so he has no way to make money. We shut that down by saying no excuse. He was sneaky and we are thinking of the punishment.

You said "So pulled out of closet and told my 17 year old- ok I’m not giving switch to our youngest so he can sell it and keep the difference for what we paid. Problem is, he went into my closet, took games without asking and sold them for 40 bucks." Which one is it?

Seems like you are changing your story to make your DS look worse. Sorry, not buying it.

I think OP is not changing the story. She’s just not telling it clearly. I’ve reread it a couple of times and think this is what happened. I think what’s confusing is that we as readers dont have a sense of time between events.

Let’s say in October 2021, OP’s son bought a switch and 4 games for little brother. Son paid $150. Mom said that younger brother was too young for such a gift and said, “Hey, that was a nice gift, but he’s too young. I’ll reimburse you for the $150 and hold the switch and games until younger brother is old enough.” She paid him $150.

Fast forward to July 2022: Son is trying to sell things to make money. Mom goes into closet and sees that the switch and games she reimbursed him for are gone. Son had gone in there and sold them for $40.

Is that what happened, OP?

She is not allowing her almost adult son to sell his property that he no longer needs because she doesn’t like him taking “the easy way”. She doesn’t let him reimburse her for the items he sold because that punishment wouldn’t be painful enough. Where does this young man have the agency to make his own decisions in this family? This relationship has future estrangement written all over it.

Where do you get that he owed the switch & games? I thought OP owned them. Who owned the switch?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thx all for the advice-
For the prior poster, I didn’t let him sell any of it. Not switch or games. Why he didn’t take it all in to sell is a good question- I’ll ask him that. I assume (in my opinion) he felt I would discover the switch gone - or maybe - actually I have no idea.
But good advice for strong discipline- we did tell him the least is he has to give me the money he made- which he said ok and wants me to take from his savings- but that hardly makes him feel pain. So I’m still thinking.
He knows he did wrong and said I never let him sell anything so he has no way to make money. We shut that down by saying no excuse. He was sneaky and we are thinking of the punishment.

You said "So pulled out of closet and told my 17 year old- ok I’m not giving switch to our youngest so he can sell it and keep the difference for what we paid. Problem is, he went into my closet, took games without asking and sold them for 40 bucks." Which one is it?

Seems like you are changing your story to make your DS look worse. Sorry, not buying it.

I think OP is not changing the story. She’s just not telling it clearly. I’ve reread it a couple of times and think this is what happened. I think what’s confusing is that we as readers dont have a sense of time between events.

Let’s say in October 2021, OP’s son bought a switch and 4 games for little brother. Son paid $150. Mom said that younger brother was too young for such a gift and said, “Hey, that was a nice gift, but he’s too young. I’ll reimburse you for the $150 and hold the switch and games until younger brother is old enough.” She paid him $150.

Fast forward to July 2022: Son is trying to sell things to make money. Mom goes into closet and sees that the switch and games she reimbursed him for are gone. Son had gone in there and sold them for $40.

Is that what happened, OP?

She is not allowing her almost adult son to sell his property that he no longer needs because she doesn’t like him taking “the easy way”. She doesn’t let him reimburse her for the items he sold because that punishment wouldn’t be painful enough. Where does this young man have the agency to make his own decisions in this family? This relationship has future estrangement written all over it.

I think you misunderstood the story. The OP reimbursed the son for the switch. He bought the switch for his little brother but little brother was too young for it, so she paid him $150 for it and saved it for when the younger son was a little older, so the switch was no longer the son’s property to sell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thx all for the advice-
For the prior poster, I didn’t let him sell any of it. Not switch or games. Why he didn’t take it all in to sell is a good question- I’ll ask him that. I assume (in my opinion) he felt I would discover the switch gone - or maybe - actually I have no idea.
But good advice for strong discipline- we did tell him the least is he has to give me the money he made- which he said ok and wants me to take from his savings- but that hardly makes him feel pain. So I’m still thinking.
He knows he did wrong and said I never let him sell anything so he has no way to make money. We shut that down by saying no excuse. He was sneaky and we are thinking of the punishment.

You said "So pulled out of closet and told my 17 year old- ok I’m not giving switch to our youngest so he can sell it and keep the difference for what we paid. Problem is, he went into my closet, took games without asking and sold them for 40 bucks." Which one is it?

Seems like you are changing your story to make your DS look worse. Sorry, not buying it.

I think OP is not changing the story. She’s just not telling it clearly. I’ve reread it a couple of times and think this is what happened. I think what’s confusing is that we as readers dont have a sense of time between events.

Let’s say in October 2021, OP’s son bought a switch and 4 games for little brother. Son paid $150. Mom said that younger brother was too young for such a gift and said, “Hey, that was a nice gift, but he’s too young. I’ll reimburse you for the $150 and hold the switch and games until younger brother is old enough.” She paid him $150.

Fast forward to July 2022: Son is trying to sell things to make money. Mom goes into closet and sees that the switch and games she reimbursed him for are gone. Son had gone in there and sold them for $40.

Is that what happened, OP?

She is not allowing her almost adult son to sell his property that he no longer needs because she doesn’t like him taking “the easy way”. She doesn’t let him reimburse her for the items he sold because that punishment wouldn’t be painful enough. Where does this young man have the agency to make his own decisions in this family? This relationship has future estrangement written all over it.

I think you misunderstood the story. The OP reimbursed the son for the switch. He bought the switch for his little brother but little brother was too young for it, so she paid him $150 for it and saved it for when the younger son was a little older, so the switch was no longer the son’s property to sell.

Read everything OP has written and you will see that she does not want her sons to have control over their own possessions or time if she doesn’t agree with their use. I’d like to know how much this allowance is and how many hours he is allowed to work because he obviously feels it is not enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thx all for the advice-
For the prior poster, I didn’t let him sell any of it. Not switch or games. Why he didn’t take it all in to sell is a good question- I’ll ask him that. I assume (in my opinion) he felt I would discover the switch gone - or maybe - actually I have no idea.
But good advice for strong discipline- we did tell him the least is he has to give me the money he made- which he said ok and wants me to take from his savings- but that hardly makes him feel pain. So I’m still thinking.
He knows he did wrong and said I never let him sell anything so he has no way to make money. We shut that down by saying no excuse. He was sneaky and we are thinking of the punishment.

You said "So pulled out of closet and told my 17 year old- ok I’m not giving switch to our youngest so he can sell it and keep the difference for what we paid. Problem is, he went into my closet, took games without asking and sold them for 40 bucks." Which one is it?

Seems like you are changing your story to make your DS look worse. Sorry, not buying it.

I think OP is not changing the story. She’s just not telling it clearly. I’ve reread it a couple of times and think this is what happened. I think what’s confusing is that we as readers dont have a sense of time between events.

Let’s say in October 2021, OP’s son bought a switch and 4 games for little brother. Son paid $150. Mom said that younger brother was too young for such a gift and said, “Hey, that was a nice gift, but he’s too young. I’ll reimburse you for the $150 and hold the switch and games until younger brother is old enough.” She paid him $150.

Fast forward to July 2022: Son is trying to sell things to make money. Mom goes into closet and sees that the switch and games she reimbursed him for are gone. Son had gone in there and sold them for $40.

Is that what happened, OP?

She is not allowing her almost adult son to sell his property that he no longer needs because she doesn’t like him taking “the easy way”. She doesn’t let him reimburse her for the items he sold because that punishment wouldn’t be painful enough. Where does this young man have the agency to make his own decisions in this family? This relationship has future estrangement written all over it.

Where do you get that he owed the switch & games? I thought OP owned them. Who owned the switch?

Look at OP’s first post. DS bought the switch and games for his brother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thx all for the advice-
For the prior poster, I didn’t let him sell any of it. Not switch or games. Why he didn’t take it all in to sell is a good question- I’ll ask him that. I assume (in my opinion) he felt I would discover the switch gone - or maybe - actually I have no idea.
But good advice for strong discipline- we did tell him the least is he has to give me the money he made- which he said ok and wants me to take from his savings- but that hardly makes him feel pain. So I’m still thinking.
He knows he did wrong and said I never let him sell anything so he has no way to make money. We shut that down by saying no excuse. He was sneaky and we are thinking of the punishment.

You said "So pulled out of closet and told my 17 year old- ok I’m not giving switch to our youngest so he can sell it and keep the difference for what we paid. Problem is, he went into my closet, took games without asking and sold them for 40 bucks." Which one is it?

Seems like you are changing your story to make your DS look worse. Sorry, not buying it.

I think OP is not changing the story. She’s just not telling it clearly. I’ve reread it a couple of times and think this is what happened. I think what’s confusing is that we as readers dont have a sense of time between events.

Let’s say in October 2021, OP’s son bought a switch and 4 games for little brother. Son paid $150. Mom said that younger brother was too young for such a gift and said, “Hey, that was a nice gift, but he’s too young. I’ll reimburse you for the $150 and hold the switch and games until younger brother is old enough.” She paid him $150.

Fast forward to July 2022: Son is trying to sell things to make money. Mom goes into closet and sees that the switch and games she reimbursed him for are gone. Son had gone in there and sold them for $40.

Is that what happened, OP?

She is not allowing her almost adult son to sell his property that he no longer needs because she doesn’t like him taking “the easy way”. She doesn’t let him reimburse her for the items he sold because that punishment wouldn’t be painful enough. Where does this young man have the agency to make his own decisions in this family? This relationship has future estrangement written all over it.

I think you misunderstood the story. The OP reimbursed the son for the switch. He bought the switch for his little brother but little brother was too young for it, so she paid him $150 for it and saved it for when the younger son was a little older, so the switch was no longer the son’s property to sell.

Read everything OP has written and you will see that she does not want her sons to have control over their own possessions or time if she doesn’t agree with their use. I’d like to know how much this allowance is and how many hours he is allowed to work because he obviously feels it is not enough.

Yes, OP is bothered by her son selling his possessions. Okay, fine. But she hasn’t done anything to stop that. AND she is rightfully pissed off because the son went into her closet and took a switch and games that SHE reimbursed him for. Therefore it was HER possession. Son took those items (or stole, if you prefer) and sold them for $40. They were never his to sell and profit from.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thx all for the advice-
For the prior poster, I didn’t let him sell any of it. Not switch or games. Why he didn’t take it all in to sell is a good question- I’ll ask him that. I assume (in my opinion) he felt I would discover the switch gone - or maybe - actually I have no idea.
But good advice for strong discipline- we did tell him the least is he has to give me the money he made- which he said ok and wants me to take from his savings- but that hardly makes him feel pain. So I’m still thinking.
He knows he did wrong and said I never let him sell anything so he has no way to make money. We shut that down by saying no excuse. He was sneaky and we are thinking of the punishment.

You said "So pulled out of closet and told my 17 year old- ok I’m not giving switch to our youngest so he can sell it and keep the difference for what we paid. Problem is, he went into my closet, took games without asking and sold them for 40 bucks." Which one is it?

Seems like you are changing your story to make your DS look worse. Sorry, not buying it.

I think OP is not changing the story. She’s just not telling it clearly. I’ve reread it a couple of times and think this is what happened. I think what’s confusing is that we as readers dont have a sense of time between events.

Let’s say in October 2021, OP’s son bought a switch and 4 games for little brother. Son paid $150. Mom said that younger brother was too young for such a gift and said, “Hey, that was a nice gift, but he’s too young. I’ll reimburse you for the $150 and hold the switch and games until younger brother is old enough.” She paid him $150.

Fast forward to July 2022: Son is trying to sell things to make money. Mom goes into closet and sees that the switch and games she reimbursed him for are gone. Son had gone in there and sold them for $40.

Is that what happened, OP?

She is not allowing her almost adult son to sell his property that he no longer needs because she doesn’t like him taking “the easy way”. She doesn’t let him reimburse her for the items he sold because that punishment wouldn’t be painful enough. Where does this young man have the agency to make his own decisions in this family? This relationship has future estrangement written all over it.

Where do you get that he owed the switch & games? I thought OP owned them. Who owned the switch?

Look at OP’s first post. DS bought the switch and games for his brother.

Keep reading the next sentence in the same post...OP appreciated what DS17 had done but didn't think his brother was old enough, so she reimbursed him the $150 he'd spent and put the Switch/games away until the younger child was ready. When DS17 took the games and sold them, they were OPs property as she had bought them from him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thx all for the advice-
For the prior poster, I didn’t let him sell any of it. Not switch or games. Why he didn’t take it all in to sell is a good question- I’ll ask him that. I assume (in my opinion) he felt I would discover the switch gone - or maybe - actually I have no idea.
But good advice for strong discipline- we did tell him the least is he has to give me the money he made- which he said ok and wants me to take from his savings- but that hardly makes him feel pain. So I’m still thinking.
He knows he did wrong and said I never let him sell anything so he has no way to make money. We shut that down by saying no excuse. He was sneaky and we are thinking of the punishment.

You said "So pulled out of closet and told my 17 year old- ok I’m not giving switch to our youngest so he can sell it and keep the difference for what we paid. Problem is, he went into my closet, took games without asking and sold them for 40 bucks." Which one is it?

Seems like you are changing your story to make your DS look worse. Sorry, not buying it.

I think OP is not changing the story. She’s just not telling it clearly. I’ve reread it a couple of times and think this is what happened. I think what’s confusing is that we as readers dont have a sense of time between events.

Let’s say in October 2021, OP’s son bought a switch and 4 games for little brother. Son paid $150. Mom said that younger brother was too young for such a gift and said, “Hey, that was a nice gift, but he’s too young. I’ll reimburse you for the $150 and hold the switch and games until younger brother is old enough.” She paid him $150.

Fast forward to July 2022: Son is trying to sell things to make money. Mom goes into closet and sees that the switch and games she reimbursed him for are gone. Son had gone in there and sold them for $40.

Is that what happened, OP?

She is not allowing her almost adult son to sell his property that he no longer needs because she doesn’t like him taking “the easy way”. She doesn’t let him reimburse her for the items he sold because that punishment wouldn’t be painful enough. Where does this young man have the agency to make his own decisions in this family? This relationship has future estrangement written all over it.

These are not his items to sell. The mom paid for the switch and games. The parent asked him not to sell clothes she paid for and planned to hand down to a younger child. He is not lacking for anything. Should he be allowed to sell clothes he bought and then complain he has no clothes so she buys more?
If he has a job and allowance, something doesn’t add up. Drugs, online gambling, crypto, short selling, paying for an abortion. He’s in some sort of trouble.