How many family reunions do you go to a year

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you're very selfish, OP.

I think in-laws who plan these horrendous boring get togethers that apparently no one enjoys (and expects everyone to come) are selfish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am of the mindset if someone has a party and it works and we WANT to go, great. If we don't want to go or have other plans, no big deal.
I don't do guilt trips and if you want to own certain weekends of my year you best being paying me. LOL

This. My family has had a couple of reunions in the last decade or so. You should feel no obligation to go! But it it works out to make one of your visiting weekends the same weekend as a reunion, you could go then to placate MIL and check off a visit. Have other plans that weekend? Rain check. It sounds like they are two separate families so not the same people, but you can definitely alternate years or just go when it suits you.

My last family reunion was super far away (like 2 flights and then a drive to a rural area.) The destination didn’t appeal to us and it would have been expensive to get there, so we skipped. I’m hoping the next one will be more convenient because I’d love for my kids to meet some of my cousins. But I’m also not up for organizing it, so I’m at the mercy of whoever does volunteer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you're very selfish, OP.

Sounds like op's husband has a date when she doesn't want to go!!
As you can see on here no one wants to go to these and many of us don't.

The real issue is that the DH doesn't really want to go. It would be a different story entirely if he were enthusiastic about any of these events.

You do boring stuff for family to keep ties. Whatever, I don't care one way or the other. But I hope none of you complain when your kids don't have relationships with their cousins or value relationships with their own future nieces and nephews.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you're very selfish, OP.

Sounds like op's husband has a date when she doesn't want to go!!
As you can see on here no one wants to go to these and many of us don't.

The real issue is that the DH doesn't really want to go. It would be a different story entirely if he were enthusiastic about any of these events.

You do boring stuff for family to keep ties. Whatever, I don't care one way or the other. But I hope none of you complain when your kids don't have relationships with their cousins or value relationships with their own future nieces and nephews.

The decade of close cousin relationships flew out the window once travel was possible. not everyone lives within 20 miles of the homestead anymore, LOL
If the only ties my kids have to cousins is a boring family reunion 1x a year then god help them because those aren't close ties.

If Dh wants to go, let him. I am not dragging kids and food 3 hours more than 1x per year to see old people I don't know or care about. I wll visit IL a few times a year adn that is more than enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you're very selfish, OP.

Sounds like op's husband has a date when she doesn't want to go!!
As you can see on here no one wants to go to these and many of us don't.

The real issue is that the DH doesn't really want to go. It would be a different story entirely if he were enthusiastic about any of these events.

Yep. OP has agreed to 1x per year which is 1x too many if you ask me. but hey, she appears to be a much better spouse than I am. I don't care to do things like this adn if DH only did so due to his mom, well no way in heck i would go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have 17 first cousins ans never once been to a family reunion. Unless you count a funeral.

Come to think of it, our "family reunions" are funerals. We talk about getting together on happier occasions and never do.

[Anonymous]

Woman here. I love family reunions! My dad’s family has one every two years. It’s so special to see my kids develop relationships with my aunts and uncles. And my aunts and uncles love to interact with my kids and the kids feel special to be the center of attention (many of my cousins didn’t have kids so there aren’t many young kids to cherish in my family).

In my mind, this is how a family reunion should be, so if you don’t enjoy it and didn’t have a close relationship with these people growing up, then I wouldn’t feel obligated to go either.

[Anonymous]

Wow, I had to re-read your title. People go to more than one a year?!? That sounds insane to me. I'd send your husband if he's the one who is interested in attending.

[Anonymous]

One is totally fine. Also think it'd be fine to do none at all if you're already visiting multiple times a year with holidays. Three is totally outrageous, especially if no one enjoys it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I think in-laws who plan these horrendous boring get togethers that apparently no one enjoys (and expects everyone to come) are selfish.

+1

[Anonymous]

0

[Anonymous]

Well my DH family tired to make every fun activity a 'tradition' that must be continued.
We got together the weekend after the 4th once and kept being asked to do it every year!! We already to Tgiving, Easter and many weekends. They also tried to get Labor day camping because we went once with them adn had fun.
NOOOOO
I told DH i will NOT do anything more with them if every activity has to turn into some annual tradition where I never get weekends I want to enjoy doing other things.
He hates going to his family events alone so he backed me up and we only do what we actually want with them (random weekends, holidays). Why do the men never want to spend time with their family without the wife? I spend time with mine without DH. I would LOVE for him to visit them wihtout me more often!!

[Anonymous]

none

[Anonymous]

Zero. If I want to see family I plan a trip.

[Anonymous]

They are calling it a reunion solely to compel people to feel obligated. If it’s not we’ll attended and happens frequently it’s not a reunion. I have an aunt who tries this nonsense. Everything and anything she wants to do gets called a reunion or annual tradition. She whines at anyone who declines but it’s our annual tradition! It’s our reunion! Umm…we just had a reunion four months ago and no one’s ever done this new thing you want so it’s not an annual tradition.