MYOB or tell the parents about their nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You nanny finds a young child with no caregiver in sight and doesn’t have the slightest concern that the child may be lost?

OP here. By “not in sight” I mean the nanny is not close by. She was there but a distance from the girl. This is a city park. You can’t be 50 yards from a 3 yr old even if they in your sight.

Excuse me, but I certainly can. However, if your busybody nanny interrupted when I was watching the child learn to advocate for herself, I would intervene... but I also would have prepared the child ahead of time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ffs, lots of you need a refresher on the golden rule. Wtf do you teach your kids?

By this do you mean “Absolutely tell the mom because you yourself would like to know?” If so I agree

Yes, that’s what I mean.

I agree with you both.

I'm also a SAHM with several young children and I've been at this for close to a decade now. I've seen plenty of bad nanny behavior that I probably should have shared. Know why I don't? The prickly attitude of the mom! So many of you other moms are so... idk if it's competitive or insecure or what. But they don't give off the appearance that they want to be bothered by my observations. I don't want to be socially ostracized or have it affect the social life of my children. So I file it away in my mind and keep my mouth shut.

[Anonymous]

For the safety of the children please say something OP.

[Anonymous]

I don’t push swings or interfere with toy taking/sharing at playgrounds. Keeping distance is in the best interest of the child IMO. Hovering prevents learning/independence. Even at age 3. Read up on RIE and Magda Gerber.

How is the nanny “rough”?

[Anonymous]

How bad would you feel if something happened to the kid and you know you could have possibly prevented it?

I would feel awful.
Why are you asking?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t push swings or interfere with toy taking/sharing at playgrounds. Keeping distance is in the best interest of the child IMO. Hovering prevents learning/independence. Even at age 3. Read up on RIE and Magda Gerber.

How is the nanny “rough”?

Oh my god, what kind of an abusive parent or caregiver are you that you would leave a THREE YEAR OLD in a swing without anyone to push her? Many three year olds are not capable of getting themselves going or maintaining the push/pull on a swing.

[Anonymous]

Would you want to know if this was your kid in that nanny’s care? I would. So I would tell the mom.

I’d say “I’m not sure if this was just a one off thing but my nanny noticed/I noticed that your nanny is kind of rough w the kids and also doesn’t supervise them very closely at the park. I was just a little concerned and thought I’d want to know that information if the situation was reversed. I hope the things we saw were just isolated incidents.” Let the parents take it from there. Could be they already know how their nanny is and are fine w it. Could be they have no clue and would want to know. Either way, I think they could understand why you told them and it’s the right thing to do.

What if something happened to the kids (got hurt at the playground while not being closely watched is most plausible but could be lots of things) and you could have helped prevent it by alerting them to their nanny’s negligence but you didn’t because you decided to MYOB?

[Anonymous]

This is so hard because people have very different ideas of what good caretaking includes. I’ve seen good nanny’s who actively sit with children at the playground/walk with them on the equipment, hold their hand going down the slide and would likely think not doing these things is dangerous and inattentive. I’ve also seen good nanny’s who watch from a distance and are responsible but do not interject on play unless there is a reason to.

When she let the child walk in the field was she watching the child and ready to run over if necessary? Was there anything obviously dangerous nearby? And what, specifically, is rough?

I would want to know but I’d get some more specific details so you can provide this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your nanny seems nosey AF why is she worried about pushing a child on a swing that’s NOT HER RESPONSIBILITY?! You’re paying her to watch YOUR child not police the playground. I hope the nanny in question slap your nosey nanny on sight and your kid will now be the outcast on the playground no other nannies will want to interact with your tattletale in everyone’s business nanny and they certainly won’t want their charges playing your kid. I’d MYOB if I were you and your nanny

You’re actually creepy. [/quote

FWIW ALOT of nanny’s especially Spanish speaking ones will pretend they’re so caring/concerned and make up lies to get a nanny fired just so she can recommend a “buddy”. I’ve had this happen to me before and thankfully 2 other parents were there and told my boss that wasn’t the case- My charge nor I were even at said place I was allegedly ignoring their child and on my phone. The nanny who was working next door to me wanted her sister to have the job and not me. She got fired and started an unlicensed daycare with said sister. I’d really tread carefully and MYOB

One example is not indicative of what “ Spanish speaking“ ones do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your nanny seems nosey AF why is she worried about pushing a child on a swing that’s NOT HER RESPONSIBILITY?! You’re paying her to watch YOUR child not police the playground. I hope the nanny in question slap your nosey nanny on sight and your kid will now be the outcast on the playground no other nannies will want to interact with your tattletale in everyone’s business nanny and they certainly won’t want their charges playing your kid. I’d MYOB if I were you and your nanny

You’re actually creepy. [/quote

FWIW ALOT of nanny’s especially Spanish speaking ones will pretend they’re so caring/concerned and make up lies to get a nanny fired just so she can recommend a “buddy”. I’ve had this happen to me before and thankfully 2 other parents were there and told my boss that wasn’t the case- My charge nor I were even at said place I was allegedly ignoring their child and on my phone. The nanny who was working next door to me wanted her sister to have the job and not me. She got fired and started an unlicensed daycare with said sister. I’d really tread carefully and MYOB

One example is not indicative of what “ Spanish speaking“ ones do.

One example of a parent that knows nothing about Nannie’s sabotaging and lying on other Nannie’s. Please tell the mom so and while you’re at it I’d asp observe your “perfect” nanny I’m sure she’s not always 100%

[Anonymous]

OP, two nanny friends of mine (who are BTW excellent caregivers) recently went to a mom's house of another nanny at the park where we all hang to tell her about this nanny's really egregious behavior. The nanny in question has yelled at other kids (not her charges) using bad language to the point where two of the kids cried and did not want to return to the park. This nanny barely interacts with her charge but basically sits in a chair while the child plays by himself or with other kids for eight hours a day. I have never observed direct physical abuse but she is very gruff and intimidating and he has cried a number of times due to the way he was being spoken to. Believe me I wasn't sure about approaching the mom and I was not involved but the parents basically did nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, two nanny friends of mine (who are BTW excellent caregivers) recently went to a mom's house of another nanny at the park where we all hang to tell her about this nanny's really egregious behavior. The nanny in question has yelled at other kids (not her charges) using bad language to the point where two of the kids cried and did not want to return to the park. This nanny barely interacts with her charge but basically sits in a chair while the child plays by himself or with other kids for eight hours a day. I have never observed direct physical abuse but she is very gruff and intimidating and he has cried a number of times due to the way he was being spoken to. Believe me I wasn't sure about approaching the mom and I was not involved but the parents basically did nothing.

I applaud those nannies who took the time to rat out the bad nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your nanny seems nosey AF why is she worried about pushing a child on a swing that’s NOT HER RESPONSIBILITY?! You’re paying her to watch YOUR child not police the playground. I hope the nanny in question slap your nosey nanny on sight and your kid will now be the outcast on the playground no other nannies will want to interact with your tattletale in everyone’s business nanny and they certainly won’t want their charges playing your kid. I’d MYOB if I were you and your nanny

You’re actually creepy. [/quote

FWIW ALOT of nanny’s especially Spanish speaking ones will pretend they’re so caring/concerned and make up lies to get a nanny fired just so she can recommend a “buddy”. I’ve had this happen to me before and thankfully 2 other parents were there and told my boss that wasn’t the case- My charge nor I were even at said place I was allegedly ignoring their child and on my phone. The nanny who was working next door to me wanted her sister to have the job and not me. She got fired and started an unlicensed daycare with said sister. I’d really tread carefully and MYOB

One example is not indicative of what “ Spanish speaking“ ones do.

One example of a parent that knows nothing about Nannie’s sabotaging and lying on other Nannie’s. Please tell the mom so and while you’re at it I’d asp observe your “perfect” nanny I’m sure she’s not always 100%

I am a nanny of twenty years and have never once witnessed or heard of a nanny “sabotaging” another nanny. I’m a fairly perfect nanny but would have no problem at all with another nanny reporting something she perceives I did wrong to my employer.

[Anonymous]

I would say something but be prepared for the Mother to not believe you initially.

But as long as you keep this in mind - it should not be a big deal overall.

[Anonymous]

Two problems here: the nanny not around and "being rough" with the kids. That's disturbing.

Please, please tell. Don't assume the mom knows and just doesn't care.