Middle School is Easy, But Does it Matter? (Not Deal)

[Anonymous]

I take it you live on the hill. I think this approach is not uncommon. We are a former sws family that consistently asked the school for more only to be told that pressuring our kids to perform above grade level would be damaging to our kids psychologically in some way. These are kids without IEPs who were doing fine in school but performing just at grade level and not particularly jazzed about any aspect of it. We finally moved to schools with advanced programming and high-stakes testing and they are excelling academically and telling us that they are happier than they have ever been. They tell us that they like their new friends and find it easier to relate to kids who are more driven. I assume this will prepare them for “real life” well.

[Anonymous]

does your child overall like school and learning? there is value in that. does he have friends who think learning is cool (at least sort of)? i dont think a lot of homework or stress is necessary at the middle school level. you can encourage your child to read advanced books for fun.

[Anonymous]

Kids n this situation will probably be fine overall. I was in this situation as a kid because our public schools were mediocre and my parents could not afford private. I graduated first in my class from a crap public school without breaking a sweat and was accepted to a selective non-ivy. Once there I realized my peers were far ahead of me academically and my best option would be a poli sci major followed by law school. That is what I did and it has been fine. But with the means to give my kids more options, with all the dmv has to offer, I absolute would not limit my kids this way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids n this situation will probably be fine overall. I was in this situation as a kid because our public schools were mediocre and my parents could not afford private. I graduated first in my class from a crap public school without breaking a sweat and was accepted to a selective non-ivy. Once there I realized my peers were far ahead of me academically and my best option would be a poli sci major followed by law school. That is what I did and it has been fine. But with the means to give my kids more options, with all the dmv has to offer, I absolute would not limit my kids this way.

If you want to do medicine, you would not make it. You struggle your 1st year and get a mediocre GPA, no matter how hard you work it’s very difficult to make that up to get a high enough average to even be considered for med school.

[Anonymous]

And thank goodness for that… every time I need to see a doctor!!

[Anonymous]

High school is high pressure, at least let them have relaxed years in middle school or they'll burn out.

[Anonymous]

If you are good in STEM subjects, you'll do fine in those majors in college, if your strengths is in liberal arts, you'll do better there. Find what your child's strengths are and let them excel in those. They'll be happier and successful, better off than getting pushed into medicine and engineering.

[Anonymous]

The difference for intelligent kids is that once they hit high school, and especially college, they can't just fly by the seat of their pants. Helping them form study habits as early as possible will make the transition less stressful. It's hard to do when they don't see the point (they tend to outperform with no effort in elementary and middle) so you have to find ways to challenge and motivate them.

[Anonymous]

Be grateful your smart kid is also skating by socially in middle school. Middle school has been a dumpster fire for our daughter who is smart, talented, and friendly but feels she gas no friends. Just hoping she gets a break in high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would rather be a big fish in a small pond then a small fish in a big pond.

This. It’s fine. He’s happy. Will he get the best education? No. But most people don’t. Encourage reading lots & widely at home, traveling, building & making things, spending time in nature and meeting interesting people.

Good luck

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would rather be a big fish in a small pond then a small fish in a big pond.

This. It’s fine. He’s happy. Will he get the best education? No. But most people don’t. Encourage reading lots & widely at home, traveling, building & making things, spending time in nature and meeting interesting people.

Good luck

Disagree, not when there are higher things at stake. He will find out soon enough that he will be a small fish in a big pond in high school and it could be either sink or swim and barely keeping his head above water. OP may be willing to take that risk but not us. Middle school is very important in setting up the foundations for high school and how well prepared you will be.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, teen age is difficult as it is but pushy parents can make it tougher. Their wants, their fears, their dreams, their unfulfilled wishes can become an obsession and and runs lives of their children. Ironically, this hellish path is paved with good intentions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, what you're missing is the opportunity to really dig in and develop in an area of interest. Nobody's saying to pressure your kid, but are you providing the kind of experiences that could truly spark interest and a high level of internal motivation? Sometimes being around a peer group that's at or slightly above their level is helpful for that, and it sounds like you're not really getting that at school. Not saying you should change schools, but some kids get that from school, and yours isn't.

Getting good grades and doing sports competently is nice, but there's so much more to enjoy. Have you considered a sleepaway camp for kids with a particular interest, such as CTY or Northfield Mount Hermon, or Outward Bound or any sort of wilderness program? Time to think slightly outside the box.

Hey this is a good thought and kind of out of the box. Thanks. -OP

Our kid is very happy with CTY. YMMV. It’s not cheap.

[Anonymous]

OP, i think it's funny that you think Deal has high-level programming. The reality is, it doesn't. It's pretty darn easy to get straight As and the academic high flyers are not challenged in any way, outside of maybe math.
In math they offer 4 levels by grade 8 (math 8, algebra 1, geometry, algebra 2). I had 2 kids finish Algebra 2 at Deal and go on to private high school (Sidwell/NCS). They did well in math but the rest of the transition was a
crazy and rude awakening which Deal did not prepare them for. It took a full semester to rewire their brains to think and to get their organization skills up to par. The homework demand went from 30 minutes to 3 hours. My kids are still (several years later) not the best writers because
DCPS often does not (outside of some teachers) teach kids to write a top quality essay, analyze literary text, etc. We really like MANY things about DCPS and Deal specifically but we have moved our 3rd kid to private for middle
school because it's almost too late (or at the minimum rough) to make this jump in expectations at high school.

[Anonymous]

THIS. Buyer beware in DCPS.