Middle School is Easy, But Does it Matter? (Not Deal)

[Anonymous]

An average school can give an average or above average child lots of opportunities to gain confidence and leadership skills because they aren't getting compared against high achievers.

[Anonymous]

I would rather be a big fish in a small pond then a small fish in a big pond.

[Anonymous]

Added commute time and pressure of competitive school and extracurriculars to fulfill demands of college admission leave little to no time for sleep and relaxation, you may end up seeing not only mental issues but physical health issues as well.

[Anonymous]

If all is good enough at school and the kid is happy, I wouldn't switch. But I do think some exploration to spark joy is a good idea. It's important to learn to be fully engaged and work to the point of struggle one way or another.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP let me tell you a story. I grew up in a rural red state. Nice family, okay school, I did well and was in no way deprived or mistreated. And I played the clarinet in the band. I became first clarinet after diligent effort, and I enjoyed it. But then my music teacher suggested I try out for the statewide orchestra. We didn't have orchestra in my school. It's a 3-day weekend kind of thing, you stay with a host family and there's one concert and that's that. And I thought, why not-- nothing I like better than getting away from my parents for a few days!

I will never, ever forget it. Just the sound of the orchestra tuning up blew my little mind, it was all so beautiful and thrilling. I literally had no idea that such an experience was possible for me. I had the very best time with my host family and made great friends with other music dorks, and when I got back the fire kept burning in my brain. I threw myself into music stuff, joined a regional youth orchestra despite the long drives, played in the pit for some musicals, went to camp, even traveled abroad for it, had the best time and am friends to this day with many of the other kids. I played in college too, and am still a big classical music fan and orchestra-goer now. Lifelong enjoyment. And if I didn't feel that level of joy in it, I wouldn't have been motivated to work as hard as I did. I got a lot out of it in terms of developing work ethic and persistence. I took so much satisfaction in every milestone.

Nobody pressured me or hassled me. It wasn't about grades or getting into X group or college admissions. It was about discovering my joy, and personal development that resulted from it. All because one teacher opened the door in a low-commitment way. This isn't about making life hard, this is about exposing them to their own potential. Don't you want that joy and satisfaction for your kid? Start opening doors!

Beautiful

[Anonymous]

This^. A motivated student can do a lot outside of the school as well, an unmotivated or pressured student can waste a world of opportunities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have one of these kids who at 12 despite all other real-life foibles gets every assignment done and redoes stuff (universally allowed, I guess?) to get the kid's grades up to an A. As a result, the kid is doing stellar, grades-wise.

Testing wise the kid's not a genius but ahead of grade level. Just guessing, if you put the kid into high school tomorrow, I expect this kid would probably do just fine. Not a brag, just that the kid is pretty organized and follows what's happening in class.

This kid is sociable, plenty of friends. Does a couple of sports. Seems nerdy but popular (who knew that was possible when we were in middle school?)

But are we supposed to look for more for this kid? Do we have to make it HARD somehow? Do we have to try to make the kid challenged or put them in the hardest math or English class we can find? I feel like that's not necessary, but am I not 'tiger mom enough' or whatever the BS toxic lingo is now if I don't do that?

Also - this is a middle school that's not Deal, so there aren't 15 levels of exquisitely differentiated variations on class X for everything.

What do you parents think? I also wish I knew what teachers thought of this kind of student, who can just mostly do everything without working too hard, but isn't "bored," "acting out," "feeling not challenged," and likes the friends and teachers at the school.

I mean, if this kid went to a different school wouldn't it just be a different version of the same thing? Does it actually matter if this kid isn't asked to flex the mental muscles, but conscientiously keeps grades up without parental direction? (We are not the helicopter type, just some EOTP white parents who went to not-that-great schools, did well, and are unsure what the expectations/obligations/opportunities are here).

So - appreciate the hive mind views.

Your child is not reaching his full potential. That’s fine if you are OK with that.

I don't think potential had anything to do with how hard you're working in school, or even what a school offers necessarily

So you are saying a high performing kid going to Eastern will reach his full potential as much as someone going to Walls and both be prepared the same for a competitive college. Got it.

OP’s kid is far more likely to get into Walls if he stays the course at his unchallenging middle school than if he changes schools in search of more challenge.

And he’s far more likely to struggle, not be as prepared, or do well as the other kids coming from much more challenging schools and curriculum……

[Anonymous]

Its hard to get a good seat on a competitive school's orchestra, hard to get to play on a team, hard to get a leadership position, so many doors aren't available to an average musician, player, student or debater. You dont get to enjoy for the love of the activity and competition makes you feeling short.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have one of these kids who at 12 despite all other real-life foibles gets every assignment done and redoes stuff (universally allowed, I guess?) to get the kid's grades up to an A. As a result, the kid is doing stellar, grades-wise.

Testing wise the kid's not a genius but ahead of grade level. Just guessing, if you put the kid into high school tomorrow, I expect this kid would probably do just fine. Not a brag, just that the kid is pretty organized and follows what's happening in class.

This kid is sociable, plenty of friends. Does a couple of sports. Seems nerdy but popular (who knew that was possible when we were in middle school?)

But are we supposed to look for more for this kid? Do we have to make it HARD somehow? Do we have to try to make the kid challenged or put them in the hardest math or English class we can find? I feel like that's not necessary, but am I not 'tiger mom enough' or whatever the BS toxic lingo is now if I don't do that?

Also - this is a middle school that's not Deal, so there aren't 15 levels of exquisitely differentiated variations on class X for everything.

What do you parents think? I also wish I knew what teachers thought of this kind of student, who can just mostly do everything without working too hard, but isn't "bored," "acting out," "feeling not challenged," and likes the friends and teachers at the school.

I mean, if this kid went to a different school wouldn't it just be a different version of the same thing? Does it actually matter if this kid isn't asked to flex the mental muscles, but conscientiously keeps grades up without parental direction? (We are not the helicopter type, just some EOTP white parents who went to not-that-great schools, did well, and are unsure what the expectations/obligations/opportunities are here).

So - appreciate the hive mind views.

How well do you know your kid? My son would be like your son and not say he is bored or anything like that. Everything would be fine. It’s easy and he would coast along.

But the important thing is I know that he is not internally self driven. Yet when he is among a higher performing peer group, it motivates him and he rises up to the challenge. Ask me how I know. So he needs to be put in this environment as a motivator to reach his potential.

[Anonymous]

All DCPS middle schools follow similar curriculum. If you want to give kid an edge, hook him to Khan Academy, enroll him in community college, get him a math tutor.

[Anonymous]

Well, some parent complain of not enough homework in KG so let kid skip grade and go for higher competition to 'reach his potential'.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All DCPS middle schools follow similar curriculum. If you want to give kid an edge, hook him to Khan Academy, enroll him in community college, get him a math tutor.

Ok sure, OP’s kid is going to go along with that real well. Also it’s costly and exhausting to have to supplement so much because of a curriculum that is lacking.

[Anonymous]

I am a teacher and I feel like the fact that your kid does all retake opportunities means they want As. So while you may not see them struggling, they are clearly not just getting everything the first time and willing to put in extra effort to improve. As a teacher I find that student lovely to teach and say you don’t need to change anything.

I do echo many posters about giving your kid experiences to try to spark a passion or interest. But that is separate from just taking the hardest math class (although I’ve had students fall in love with my subject because they took the hardest class and realized they found it interesting and challenging).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have one of these kids who at 12 despite all other real-life foibles gets every assignment done and redoes stuff (universally allowed, I guess?) to get the kid's grades up to an A. As a result, the kid is doing stellar, grades-wise.

Testing wise the kid's not a genius but ahead of grade level. Just guessing, if you put the kid into high school tomorrow, I expect this kid would probably do just fine. Not a brag, just that the kid is pretty organized and follows what's happening in class.

This kid is sociable, plenty of friends. Does a couple of sports. Seems nerdy but popular (who knew that was possible when we were in middle school?)

But are we supposed to look for more for this kid? Do we have to make it HARD somehow? Do we have to try to make the kid challenged or put them in the hardest math or English class we can find? I feel like that's not necessary, but am I not 'tiger mom enough' or whatever the BS toxic lingo is now if I don't do that?

Also - this is a middle school that's not Deal, so there aren't 15 levels of exquisitely differentiated variations on class X for everything.

What do you parents think? I also wish I knew what teachers thought of this kind of student, who can just mostly do everything without working too hard, but isn't "bored," "acting out," "feeling not challenged," and likes the friends and teachers at the school.

I mean, if this kid went to a different school wouldn't it just be a different version of the same thing? Does it actually matter if this kid isn't asked to flex the mental muscles, but conscientiously keeps grades up without parental direction? (We are not the helicopter type, just some EOTP white parents who went to not-that-great schools, did well, and are unsure what the expectations/obligations/opportunities are here).

So - appreciate the hive mind views.

Your child is not reaching his full potential. That’s fine if you are OK with that.

I don't think potential had anything to do with how hard you're working in school, or even what a school offers necessarily

So you are saying a high performing kid going to Eastern will reach his full potential as much as someone going to Walls and both be prepared the same for a competitive college. Got it.

Yep. You seem to disagree, why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have one of these kids who at 12 despite all other real-life foibles gets every assignment done and redoes stuff (universally allowed, I guess?) to get the kid's grades up to an A. As a result, the kid is doing stellar, grades-wise.

Testing wise the kid's not a genius but ahead of grade level. Just guessing, if you put the kid into high school tomorrow, I expect this kid would probably do just fine. Not a brag, just that the kid is pretty organized and follows what's happening in class.

This kid is sociable, plenty of friends. Does a couple of sports. Seems nerdy but popular (who knew that was possible when we were in middle school?)

But are we supposed to look for more for this kid? Do we have to make it HARD somehow? Do we have to try to make the kid challenged or put them in the hardest math or English class we can find? I feel like that's not necessary, but am I not 'tiger mom enough' or whatever the BS toxic lingo is now if I don't do that?

Also - this is a middle school that's not Deal, so there aren't 15 levels of exquisitely differentiated variations on class X for everything.

What do you parents think? I also wish I knew what teachers thought of this kind of student, who can just mostly do everything without working too hard, but isn't "bored," "acting out," "feeling not challenged," and likes the friends and teachers at the school.

I mean, if this kid went to a different school wouldn't it just be a different version of the same thing? Does it actually matter if this kid isn't asked to flex the mental muscles, but conscientiously keeps grades up without parental direction? (We are not the helicopter type, just some EOTP white parents who went to not-that-great schools, did well, and are unsure what the expectations/obligations/opportunities are here).

So - appreciate the hive mind views.

Your child is not reaching his full potential. That’s fine if you are OK with that.

I don't think potential had anything to do with how hard you're working in school, or even what a school offers necessarily

So you are saying a high performing kid going to Eastern will reach his full potential as much as someone going to Walls and both be prepared the same for a competitive college. Got it.

Yep. You seem to disagree, why?

Why don’t you talk to high school teachers from poorly performing schools in DC and they you will know. The kids are placed in remedial classes, struggle, self confidence get shot, and some fail out. That’s why.